"My son, let them not vanish from your sight; Keep sound wisdom and discretion......Do not let them depart from your sight; Keep them in the midst of your heart." (Proverbs 3:21; 4:21 NASB)
Twelve years ago, after a frantic and hurried race across town (as opposed to driving in the opposite direction to the closer hospital ---I plead temporary insanity) and the doctor telling me that the planceta was separating from the uterus wall and the baby was in trouble.....at 10:06 am, by emergency c-section, Casey Lawrence Hutson entered into this world and took what too many unfortunate children are unable to do in today's society...a breath.
I was told that I couldn't be in the operating room, due to the emergency, and was on the phone with my sister when the nurse came up and told me that he had come into the world, in a fashion that would be a characteristic he has grafted into his personality, in spectacular fashion at 6lbs, 11 ounces and 16 inches long.....at what the doc said was the 'edge of viability'.
I can remember looking at him in the incubator, waiting transport to the hospital I should've headed to (again....I plead temporary panic), I promised him everything I had, would have, and could get for him. My life ended that day as I gazed down at this bundle of crying, full head of hair baby boy and I promised to make his life so much fuller than mine ever was; not knowing that he would bring something beyond what I could ever give back to him.....
I can remember for the first month of his born life; getting up at 3am and on the road by 3:30, at the hospital's NICU by 4:00am (dressed and gowned) to spend an hour with him. I can remember the sadness of looking at the children who were smaller than my palm as I turned to sit down at the incubator of the biggest premie in the room and counting silently those who didn't make the journey long in this world who's incubators were empty.....
I can remember taking him home with a apnea monitor, running back and forth to the docs when the darn thing went off at all hours, the recommendation for physical therapy and premie 'assistance' so that he could 'catch up' and helping him walk....a tiny hand gripped tightly around my pinky finger, which was being pulled from its socket as he gathered steam.....the diagnosis that he was cognitively-impaired....the rejection of a speech theraptist who said he was too 'stupid' to learn to speak and my reply, issued in a low growl "You aren't good enough to teach my son."
The rushing home after recieving a call he was at the hospital because he was outside and fell, right into the trailer hitch, and again when I was told that he was left in a car by his grandpa and did what anybody else would do, put the car into drive and knock a mobile home off it's foundations....becoming the only kid in the country with an accident on his record before he could even drive.....(not really).
The struggles with school, the struggles with my ex regarding his care, and the best day of my life since his birth and the following birth of his sister.......the day when custody of both of them were given to me. And the reason that I walked back into the church and realized God's call.....for him and his sister......
We have had our share of struggles; self-imposed, imposed by others, and dealing with life as life comes. We have had our own sorrows, hurts we have caused each other intentionally and unintentionally.....life is not the image I held when I gazed down at that boy so long ago.
Easter Sunday, 3 years ago, he joined the family of God.....and the adventures God has taken us on since then have been harrowing, scary, and blessed.......
No one will ever say that he is anything but a joy to be near, loving and caring of those around him and always faithful. He has endured so much, been ridiculed and mistreated because of his special need as much as he has been blessed with gifted teachers, caring teachers, and exceptional friends.
As I look back over the last twelve years, I am amazed that --with all the mistakes I've made, the consequences of decisions made by me and by others, and the passing of life in a broken world--- a twelve year old young man walked into the ktichen today, looked up at me with those beautiful and caring eyes and wrapped his arms around (as much as he could) my waist....and said, "Do you know what today is?"
I wish I could say that I said something profound and scholarly about the angels singing and heaven rejoicing....but no.....I said, "Frankfurter day at school?" In a look that has become part of his impressive facial library, he said...."Nooooooo...." I relented and wrapped him in my arms.....and spoke the words of my heart.....
"Today, you become a young man.....and continue to be a blessing to this old man."
To the community of Godly men that stand in pursuit of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, I present to you someone who is transitioning from boyhood to young manhood, from childish things to adventures and battles and glory for his Lord and King......
As a father, I ask that you..this community of godly men...take this new man into that community and take him into the next phrase of this journey home. Each of us men are uniquely gifted to mentor the new men growing into fatherhood, to teach godly principles through fresh and different eyes...I ask that you step up to the task and show him true godly masculinity, reinforced by the multitude that you are.
As a man, I am proud of who he is becoming even as my arms strain against letting go and my heart longs for the simplier times of cradling him in my arms. But, I know that God has taken my dedicating this young man at my word and calls him out into the purpose to which God set aside before he even graced me with a smile as I was told his mother was pregnant.
The greatest thing that I have ever heard from this young man's mouth still send the shiver of wonder and joy down my spine when I hear it......"Dad, I love you."
The greatest thing that I can ever say to you as I present the newest member of the community of manhood.............
"Gentlemen, here is MY son, with whom I am well pleased!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I give you a blessing from God, community of men, and I give you a treasure of my heart. I hope that, if you have a chance to have an godly impact upon this young man's life or to cross his path in the journey home, that you will see what a wonderful man he is becoming....and will impact him as a man in the community of godly masculinity can do.....
1 comment:
I think that this was one of your best blogs to date! I can feel the love you have for him and i am sure that the love is returned ten fold....God will provide you with the means to care for this little man, just remember to saty faithful in His Word!
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