"And when they were on the way, a certain man said to him, I will come after you wherever you go. And Jesus said to him, Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have resting-places, but the Son of man has nowhere to put his head. And he said to another, Come after me. But he said, Lord, let me first go and give the last honours to my father. But he said to him, Let the dead take care of their dead; it is for you to go and give news of the kingdom of God. And another man said, I will come with you, Lord, but first let me say a last good-day to those who are at my house. But Jesus said, No man, having put his hand to the plough and looking back, is good enough for the kingdom of God." (Luke 9:57-62 BBE)
God's commission doesn't sit well in the modern westernized Church model...which seems so far from the model of the Church that Christ left in the hands of His disciples some 2,000 years ago. More and more churches are more concerned about fancy temples, big projects (called capital building projects) that do little within the communities in which they rest. Evangelism becomes a 'big sign' and 'full parking lot' rather than one-on-one relationships. Pastors become favorites rather than the word that is preached. Outreaches become single-minded and sharply focused upon one group, one bracket or one direction.
The numbers look good, the finances attract investors who 'loan money to visionaries' and the Word (never to return void) goes slowly silent as the faithful are guided into the postmodern 'self' message of love, love and love.....the lies and philosophies of man become hazy and semi-biblical in their utterance but totally void of their fruitfulness, until it becomes the 'Word', leaving more and more of the mega-churched empty and abandoned to fall prey to the growing malaise that paralyzes a people into 'voting' for a immoral change, speaking less against a culture in chaotic destructive mentality and a rejection of those who would speak the Truth in its unadulterated, non-respecting purity.
Go out to all the nations of the world and tell them the Gospel, making disciples becomes an inward focus on keeping what you have and calling the community that lies stagnant a focal point of God's blessings, the Word proclaimed and the lesser 'dirtiness' of life is conveniently swept under the table that sits on the stage.
Disciples lose their zeal for the passion of Christ and opt instead for the relative comforts of Sunday school and cookie-cutter programming for the ministries. Challenges once issued to the leadership under the passionate convictions of a man or woman of God, even if in opposition to the leader's chosen direction, fall upon the ears of the discontent as they have been silenced into submission by the congregational love feast with their pastoral leadership. No one really questions anymore, for questions are not welcomed within the halls of the faithful and the glittered temples of mega. It is better to fade into the quietness of contemplative silence and forego the desires God stokes within the flame of our faith.
Most churches preach a doctrine of peaceful contentment, relative bliss and relational complacency that one has to dull their hearts in such condition so that the mudanity of their lives serve as a balm for the discontentment that boils beneath the surface. This is why I believe the mega-, emergent- and postmodern churches are the most popular today.....it soothes the discontentment that a life seeking Christ, knowing God and being counseled by the Spirit causes, the disruption and the fearful reliance upon a faith that is never stagnate, never satisfied and constantly challenged.
As John Eldridge says in The Sacred Romance, "While our hearts grow in its capacity for pleasure, it grows in its capacity to know pain." The Church, in trying to answer the painful experiences that its congregations are facing actually helps to silence the growth of its members....calling them to a mundane numbness that nullifies the growing sense of painful disconnection to a world that moves further and further from the precepts of its Designer and Creator.
"As the Lord gives you truth, acknowledge it and allow HIM to guide you through it. Don’t try to do anything on your own. Our walk with the Lord is a continual realization of how we need to grow in the image of the Son." Paul Ferree, American missionary and writer of the blog "How To Become A Missionary", writes as he and his family travel the United States where the Father leads, "We simply recognize our errors and repent, or trade our ways for the Father’s ways. Turn from the way we do things and do things the way our Father in heaven instructs us to do them."
As I sense with growing wonder and competing fear the grand work of the Lord within and around me, and the evidence that shows a preparation to the impossibility of the direction that......my preconceived perceptions of what my service to the Call would shape out to be. These are shattered upon the rocks of disillusioned fantasies, exposing the utter foolishness of a future built upon their fragile and simple frames. The assured, peaceful disruption of following the 'walk of sorrow' that characterizes the journey of Christ from rejection to condemnation to the crucifixion promises a grander context, greater works and stronger persecution in ways that I immediately want to reject as foolishness and point out their improbability.
It no longer seems ironic to me that as I look into the chaos of my disrupted life and all of its trials, tribulations and stresses that I find more and more Word being delivered upon the platter of my supplication for God to speak. From a multitude of sources; devotions from separate ministries, words from others (and not just necessarily 'faithful' ones) and an inter-relationalish to events in my life.
Today, from the Ransomed Hearts ministry of John Eldridge, author of Wild at Heart, as well as other fantastic books, comes a devotion that referenced Psalm 119:25. I've quoted part of Eldridge's comments from his book, The Sacred Romance, already...but God chose to expand upon Eldridge's offering with the verses from 25 through 38.
"I am at the point of death. Let your teachings breathe new life into me. When I told you my troubles, you answered my prayers. Now teach me your laws. Help me to understand your teachings, and I will think about your marvelous deeds. I am overcome with sorrow. Encourage me, as you have promised to do. Keep me from being deceitful, and be kind enough to teach me your Law. I am determined to be faithful and to respect your laws. I follow your rules, LORD. Don't let me be ashamed. I am eager to learn all that you want me to do; help me to understand more and more. Point out your rules to me, and I won't disobey even one of them. Help me to understand your Law; I promise to obey it with all my heart. Direct me by your commands! I love to do what you say. Make me want to obey you, rather than to be rich. Take away my foolish desires, and let me find life by walking with you. I am your servant! Do for me what you promised to those who worship you." (Psalms 119:25-38 CEV)
My heart wants to cling to the 'comforts' of this life that has taken so much effort and suffering to achieve, even at this level. It wants peace, grace, mercy, love and above all, hope in such degree that its undeniable. It wants evidence of healing, restoration and an visible 'outward' sign to point to as evidence of my spiritual growth in His purpose. Yet, by clinging to that desire and the resultant chains that it creates, I become bound by the declarations of others.....more beholding to their perceived and unknowledged agendas. God doesn't move where we chain ourselves willingly but calls us to break those chains and live 'on the edge' of His cresting wave of life-giving water......straining in those places where our worst fears lie, unprepared and uncomfortable....God has already prepared us for those things, just as He has already restored our corrupted bodies, yet the journey is realizing that in truth in its entirity, something we will never fully achieve until we reach the point of Christ's return or ours to our Heavenly home
God doesn't ask us to 'fit Him into our life' but to surrender our life over to Him so that we can fit into His story, His life.
"But more than anything else put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well." (Matthew 6:33 CEV)
Even in the fluidity of my current situation; finances, location and family struggles.....my time has been less focused on what God is doing in my world, in the life around me, and more focused on the miserable attempt to 'maintain' this lifestyle's 'status quo' at least, with the hope to improve it beyond the difficult position of being fully dependent on God's timing, provision and direction. My devotional time, as reflected in my blog postings, has been stagnant and full of silence.
But, in the last few months, in ever increasing ways….God has brought undeniable proof of His provisions and of His conditioning for the Calling He's given. Not in the hallowed halls of the Church, nor the venerable cafeterias of the aging saints. By becoming vulnerable to God, I am realizing the folly of my limitations…..as if God is big, but not big enough for my situation and problems. He is working in my life in ways I didn't realize, amid the painfulness of letting go of the old…..and it is the strength He has added to my faith that makes it still cling to Him despite no assurance of anything.
Oh, I'm not fully free, if I ever will be, but God is still pointing the way and whispering words of preparation for a world that He's opened for me to journey in with His Truth, His Mercy and for His Glory. The dream, though personal and unique to my perspective, is expanding beyond my wildest imaginations.
Paul Ferre's website is www.paulferree.com that is his 'tent making' conjunction to his ministry. His blog, how to become a missionary is at www.howtobecomeamissionary.com . John Eldridge's devotionals are sent from the website of his Ransomed Heart ministry that you can sign up for at www.ransomedheart.com.
Showing posts with label John Eldredge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Eldredge. Show all posts
Thursday, June 18
Wednesday, June 17
Following the work God would do.........
I don't know if this is going to be a 'smooth' flowing blog post today.....God has me in such a disrupted state that I just let it go......The harvest, He keeps whispering, is ready and the workers few, will you join Me where I call?"
"Thus says the LORD: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls”" (Jeremiah 6:16, ESV)
Dare I hope that the day has come where I see the positive movement of God within the context of my story, no longer at the behest of the writer but through the hand of the Ghost writer that has been writing the whole breathe and width of the human story since its inception at the breath of God into the formed lump of clay?
If so, the vision is unlike the shape and color of that moment in October where I heard the LORD speak to me as Gene Apell stood upon the stage at the mega-church of Bill Hybels and spoke of his ministry; neighborhood communities. Being so newly minted into the new creature that God enables upon rebirth, I find it funny sometimes how convinced, convicted and even 'rejectful' of that moment in time, a scant eight months since the experience that would forever change my life's direction and would bring me into full view of the enemy's ill will, that I was.
It surely hasn't translated into assurance, edification and mentoring in the whole-wide body of Christ, even five years plus later....except in those 'pockets' of believers that have stepped into the messiness of life and seen the mark of God's annointing, that band of brothers, and sisters, who move into the messiness of life with more than just words of life but a positive movement that speaks louder than words could ever convey.
A faint glimpse that powerful October call seems to be now; the width and depth of the need within the body of Christ, not just worldwide but especially within the 'hallowed halls' of the westernized church that is slowly dying in the postmoderistic, universalist and agenda-ridden environment of the American experience has never seemed to be more in need of those faithfully called to ministry and yet so rejectful of those so called. "A prophet is not welcomed in his own town" has rang true throughout my experience here at home in the land of my birth.
The barely understood journey from the beloved boy that God created who was killed in his infancey to the godly man; still forming, still growing and still wounded as he faces that death and finds God's restorative, resurrecting power even in the midst of his past....testifies to the mighty works the Lord is doing within its confines and the broader scope of its use for the Kingdom.
It seems to be the mode operandi that God has used in my life; a simple question, a scriptural reference, or even a study that, once considered, becomes a moment of choice that becomes a journey of learning, seeking and realization that becomes a clear vision of God's working in and around me in my life...wherever it is and how ever it has been lived......that becomes a desire to declare its clarity in the lives around me and then another question, simply put, that brings me full-circle into the process.
Sometimes the process is seemingly effortless, those simple truths that cascade through the moments like a waterfall....one simply gives in to its powerful truth. More often though, the process is very difficult, exceedingly painful and in its entrity not all that much fun....but it is like a stream, still of the same element, but slower as it whittles the hardened rock to its eventual collaspe.
And, in the darkness of human despair, depression, loss, struggle and tribulation when the dark fluidity of the night seems to press upon me with the liquid heaviness of blood, I find the strength born of fear, faith and an undeniable hope that causes me to reach out to those things I fear the most for substainable substance in the midst of it all. Other men, relationship and community.
It is still a source of amazement to me at the power of God in the controlling and issuance of His word from the mouth of another brother or sister that, even in its actual context, speaks different words to each of those He has touched to be compelled by its utterance. Recently, my current home church completed the process of securing funding and the ownership (with mortgage) of a parcel of land where the Lead Pastor has envisioned a dream for God's work in the Holly Area. The pastor called upon the congregation to be a participator in God's work, not a spectator.
"One day Jonathan the son of Saul said to the young man who carried his armor, "Come, let us go over to the Philistine garrison on the other side." But he did not tell his father. Saul was staying in the outskirts of Gibeah in the pomegranate cave at Migron. The people who were with him were about six hundred men, including Ahijah the son of Ahitub, Ichabod's brother, son of Phinehas, son of Eli, the priest of the LORD in Shiloh, wearing an ephod. And the people did not know that Jonathan had gone. Within the passes, by which Jonathan sought to go over to the Philistine garrison, there was a rocky crag on the one side and a rocky crag on the other side. The name of the one was Bozez, and the name of the other Seneh. The one crag rose on the north in front of Michmash, and the other on the south in front of Geba. Jonathan said to the young man who carried his armor, "Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the LORD will work for us, for nothing can hinder the LORD from saving by many or by few." And his armor-bearer said to him, "Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul." Then Jonathan said, "Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them. If they say to us, 'Wait until we come to you,' then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them. But if they say, 'Come up to us,' then we will go up, for the LORD has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us." So both of them showed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines. And the Philistines said, "Look, Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden themselves." And the men of the garrison hailed Jonathan and his armor-bearer and said, "Come up to us, and we will show you a thing." And Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, "Come up after me, for the LORD has given them into the hand of Israel." Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, and his armor-bearer after him. And they fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer killed them after him. And that first strike, which Jonathan and his armor-bearer made, killed about twenty men within as it were half a furrow's length in an acre of land." (1 Samuel 14:1-14 ESV)
An exercise of the heart, like Jonathan's boldness in the face of an larger foe, doesn't start with worldly and human motives, but speaks of a boldness of the faith within; we know the brokenness of the world, the depravity of it and its soothing way of destruction, yet we live in a state of peace...worship...and blessing because our Lord is real. We mourn for the world, speak into the darkness because of this awareness and proclaim through the worship of our lives the Good News of the Lord. We don't ignore the enemy at our gates, nor do we wait underneath the relative comfort of our church walls and offer burnt sacrifices to cover our inaction.
As we were taught to pray, the desire of the children of God should be nothing more than to do the will of the Father on earth, by whatever means necessary without the compromising of the tenents and commandments that already exist. It is that desire that is so dominant in the bedrock of our foundations that we don't think twice about what He speaks, but have brought it into the light of His purpose and are given a peace about its truthfulness. A Participator, as my pastor would say, rather than a spectator.
"Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:10
This desire doesn't seem to make sense to others, yet many have left the comfort of support, security and familiarity at great personal cost to follow the Lord's will in their story. When we fail at the duties because of our own foolishness, disbelief or fearfulness, we hurt.....not because of our fear the Father but because we love Him so much. We rush headlong into the world where our Father is working around us, as John Eldridge points out, "out of desire" as Jesus did, "for the joy set before Him." The depth of His desire to be where His Father was, serving alongside His Father and bringing His Father that joy that comes from His child, indeed all of His children, was evident as He was scourged, beaten and crucified. The fierciness of His passion, His sorrow and His love touch our lives and draw us into the world He left us in to "perform things greater than these."
The life of a follower of Christ, a believer, is nothing more than a 'holy longing' that is never fulfilled but that grows stronger and stronger as we walk towards that final hilltop and view our Father's house arrayed before us....for that is where the saints who have gone before and those who will gaze into the skies and see the mighty Savior's return all are going.....the familiar treaded, harden pathways are permanently etched into the fabric of this world and yet it is only those who have learned to 'groan inwardly as' they 'wait eagerly' under increasing desire. A question, spoken by a dear friend of years, was a simple one; laughed off as 'yeah, right'.....for its sheer laughidity and utter improbability. Then another, when it was laughingly repeated, looked intent as words were spoken, "Maybe you will be...." Again, a shake of the head by the sheer folly of the very idea.......and the issue drops into the back drawer, forgotten for a time.
"O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me." (Psalm 139:1)
There is no denying God those things we wish to hide from the consuming fire of the passion He ignites in our faith, properly directed, in His purpose for us. A 'purpose' that isn't some block on the big board of God's construction projects where He grumbles, conjoles and entices us to finish our specific 'contracted' part of the building but something that was uniquely designed by Him for us to use to show our thankfulness and love for Him....like a father making known what he would like for Father's day and then helping his children make it. God has searched us, literally penetrated deep into our being and knows us intimately...our tendencies under the old nature, our fears and our ability to do the job at hand. He can even see the formation of words before they gain shape enough for our utterances....we are totally transparent to Him and only the blood of Christ saves us from that condemnation that is the result of sin. There is no hiding.
God loves us in spite of what we have become, and where we will fail and yet, He lives in the knowledge, the understanding, of what we can be through the gift of eternal life, the transformation that takes place and the journey that continues until we come to a place before the throne and find ourselves what He's always known we will be.
And if that is all true, then who are we when in the fire of the consuming passion to judge when we are 'sent forth' rather than 'dropping what [we] are doing and following Him?' We should follow the examples set forth by the saints of old….from the apostles through the early church fathers to the saints that have been fading from the American landscape as the church grows more distant from the origins of its birth…..and the Head Priest that gave her to us to care for….
Like George Mueller, quoted in "Experiencing God",
"I never remember…..a period…..that I ever sincerely and patiently sought to know the will of God by the teaching of the Holy Ghost, through the instrumentality of the Word of God, but I have been always directed rightly. But if honesty of heart and uprightness before God were lacking, or if I did not patiently wait upon God for instruction, or if I preferred the counsel of my fellow men to the declarations of the Word of the living God, I made great mistakes."
Only by sincerely seeking God's direction, waiting on Him to supply the Word to go forth with and looking to the Spirit to teach through the written Words of God, we are only running after our own agenda, our own wishes of glory and greatness that haunt the flesh of this corrupt body……forgoing forthrightness, uprightness and patience to follow the counsel of men who are themselves broken and corrupted.
So, as this question blooms into a choice to join God in the work He is doing, I seek to bring myself into a place where my will is absent, leaving this choice to follow not subject to feeling or whim and seek the Will, Word and Motivation of the Spirit of God, the Holy Counselor, through prayer, study and reflection.
And the possibilities are enormous, frightening to the flesh and peaceful to the spirit.
"Thus says the LORD: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls”" (Jeremiah 6:16, ESV)
Dare I hope that the day has come where I see the positive movement of God within the context of my story, no longer at the behest of the writer but through the hand of the Ghost writer that has been writing the whole breathe and width of the human story since its inception at the breath of God into the formed lump of clay?
If so, the vision is unlike the shape and color of that moment in October where I heard the LORD speak to me as Gene Apell stood upon the stage at the mega-church of Bill Hybels and spoke of his ministry; neighborhood communities. Being so newly minted into the new creature that God enables upon rebirth, I find it funny sometimes how convinced, convicted and even 'rejectful' of that moment in time, a scant eight months since the experience that would forever change my life's direction and would bring me into full view of the enemy's ill will, that I was.
It surely hasn't translated into assurance, edification and mentoring in the whole-wide body of Christ, even five years plus later....except in those 'pockets' of believers that have stepped into the messiness of life and seen the mark of God's annointing, that band of brothers, and sisters, who move into the messiness of life with more than just words of life but a positive movement that speaks louder than words could ever convey.
A faint glimpse that powerful October call seems to be now; the width and depth of the need within the body of Christ, not just worldwide but especially within the 'hallowed halls' of the westernized church that is slowly dying in the postmoderistic, universalist and agenda-ridden environment of the American experience has never seemed to be more in need of those faithfully called to ministry and yet so rejectful of those so called. "A prophet is not welcomed in his own town" has rang true throughout my experience here at home in the land of my birth.
The barely understood journey from the beloved boy that God created who was killed in his infancey to the godly man; still forming, still growing and still wounded as he faces that death and finds God's restorative, resurrecting power even in the midst of his past....testifies to the mighty works the Lord is doing within its confines and the broader scope of its use for the Kingdom.
It seems to be the mode operandi that God has used in my life; a simple question, a scriptural reference, or even a study that, once considered, becomes a moment of choice that becomes a journey of learning, seeking and realization that becomes a clear vision of God's working in and around me in my life...wherever it is and how ever it has been lived......that becomes a desire to declare its clarity in the lives around me and then another question, simply put, that brings me full-circle into the process.
Sometimes the process is seemingly effortless, those simple truths that cascade through the moments like a waterfall....one simply gives in to its powerful truth. More often though, the process is very difficult, exceedingly painful and in its entrity not all that much fun....but it is like a stream, still of the same element, but slower as it whittles the hardened rock to its eventual collaspe.
And, in the darkness of human despair, depression, loss, struggle and tribulation when the dark fluidity of the night seems to press upon me with the liquid heaviness of blood, I find the strength born of fear, faith and an undeniable hope that causes me to reach out to those things I fear the most for substainable substance in the midst of it all. Other men, relationship and community.
It is still a source of amazement to me at the power of God in the controlling and issuance of His word from the mouth of another brother or sister that, even in its actual context, speaks different words to each of those He has touched to be compelled by its utterance. Recently, my current home church completed the process of securing funding and the ownership (with mortgage) of a parcel of land where the Lead Pastor has envisioned a dream for God's work in the Holly Area. The pastor called upon the congregation to be a participator in God's work, not a spectator.
"One day Jonathan the son of Saul said to the young man who carried his armor, "Come, let us go over to the Philistine garrison on the other side." But he did not tell his father. Saul was staying in the outskirts of Gibeah in the pomegranate cave at Migron. The people who were with him were about six hundred men, including Ahijah the son of Ahitub, Ichabod's brother, son of Phinehas, son of Eli, the priest of the LORD in Shiloh, wearing an ephod. And the people did not know that Jonathan had gone. Within the passes, by which Jonathan sought to go over to the Philistine garrison, there was a rocky crag on the one side and a rocky crag on the other side. The name of the one was Bozez, and the name of the other Seneh. The one crag rose on the north in front of Michmash, and the other on the south in front of Geba. Jonathan said to the young man who carried his armor, "Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the LORD will work for us, for nothing can hinder the LORD from saving by many or by few." And his armor-bearer said to him, "Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul." Then Jonathan said, "Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them. If they say to us, 'Wait until we come to you,' then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them. But if they say, 'Come up to us,' then we will go up, for the LORD has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us." So both of them showed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines. And the Philistines said, "Look, Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden themselves." And the men of the garrison hailed Jonathan and his armor-bearer and said, "Come up to us, and we will show you a thing." And Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, "Come up after me, for the LORD has given them into the hand of Israel." Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, and his armor-bearer after him. And they fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer killed them after him. And that first strike, which Jonathan and his armor-bearer made, killed about twenty men within as it were half a furrow's length in an acre of land." (1 Samuel 14:1-14 ESV)
An exercise of the heart, like Jonathan's boldness in the face of an larger foe, doesn't start with worldly and human motives, but speaks of a boldness of the faith within; we know the brokenness of the world, the depravity of it and its soothing way of destruction, yet we live in a state of peace...worship...and blessing because our Lord is real. We mourn for the world, speak into the darkness because of this awareness and proclaim through the worship of our lives the Good News of the Lord. We don't ignore the enemy at our gates, nor do we wait underneath the relative comfort of our church walls and offer burnt sacrifices to cover our inaction.
As we were taught to pray, the desire of the children of God should be nothing more than to do the will of the Father on earth, by whatever means necessary without the compromising of the tenents and commandments that already exist. It is that desire that is so dominant in the bedrock of our foundations that we don't think twice about what He speaks, but have brought it into the light of His purpose and are given a peace about its truthfulness. A Participator, as my pastor would say, rather than a spectator.
"Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:10
This desire doesn't seem to make sense to others, yet many have left the comfort of support, security and familiarity at great personal cost to follow the Lord's will in their story. When we fail at the duties because of our own foolishness, disbelief or fearfulness, we hurt.....not because of our fear the Father but because we love Him so much. We rush headlong into the world where our Father is working around us, as John Eldridge points out, "out of desire" as Jesus did, "for the joy set before Him." The depth of His desire to be where His Father was, serving alongside His Father and bringing His Father that joy that comes from His child, indeed all of His children, was evident as He was scourged, beaten and crucified. The fierciness of His passion, His sorrow and His love touch our lives and draw us into the world He left us in to "perform things greater than these."
The life of a follower of Christ, a believer, is nothing more than a 'holy longing' that is never fulfilled but that grows stronger and stronger as we walk towards that final hilltop and view our Father's house arrayed before us....for that is where the saints who have gone before and those who will gaze into the skies and see the mighty Savior's return all are going.....the familiar treaded, harden pathways are permanently etched into the fabric of this world and yet it is only those who have learned to 'groan inwardly as' they 'wait eagerly' under increasing desire. A question, spoken by a dear friend of years, was a simple one; laughed off as 'yeah, right'.....for its sheer laughidity and utter improbability. Then another, when it was laughingly repeated, looked intent as words were spoken, "Maybe you will be...." Again, a shake of the head by the sheer folly of the very idea.......and the issue drops into the back drawer, forgotten for a time.
"O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me." (Psalm 139:1)
There is no denying God those things we wish to hide from the consuming fire of the passion He ignites in our faith, properly directed, in His purpose for us. A 'purpose' that isn't some block on the big board of God's construction projects where He grumbles, conjoles and entices us to finish our specific 'contracted' part of the building but something that was uniquely designed by Him for us to use to show our thankfulness and love for Him....like a father making known what he would like for Father's day and then helping his children make it. God has searched us, literally penetrated deep into our being and knows us intimately...our tendencies under the old nature, our fears and our ability to do the job at hand. He can even see the formation of words before they gain shape enough for our utterances....we are totally transparent to Him and only the blood of Christ saves us from that condemnation that is the result of sin. There is no hiding.
God loves us in spite of what we have become, and where we will fail and yet, He lives in the knowledge, the understanding, of what we can be through the gift of eternal life, the transformation that takes place and the journey that continues until we come to a place before the throne and find ourselves what He's always known we will be.
And if that is all true, then who are we when in the fire of the consuming passion to judge when we are 'sent forth' rather than 'dropping what [we] are doing and following Him?' We should follow the examples set forth by the saints of old….from the apostles through the early church fathers to the saints that have been fading from the American landscape as the church grows more distant from the origins of its birth…..and the Head Priest that gave her to us to care for….
Like George Mueller, quoted in "Experiencing God",
"I never remember…..a period…..that I ever sincerely and patiently sought to know the will of God by the teaching of the Holy Ghost, through the instrumentality of the Word of God, but I have been always directed rightly. But if honesty of heart and uprightness before God were lacking, or if I did not patiently wait upon God for instruction, or if I preferred the counsel of my fellow men to the declarations of the Word of the living God, I made great mistakes."
Only by sincerely seeking God's direction, waiting on Him to supply the Word to go forth with and looking to the Spirit to teach through the written Words of God, we are only running after our own agenda, our own wishes of glory and greatness that haunt the flesh of this corrupt body……forgoing forthrightness, uprightness and patience to follow the counsel of men who are themselves broken and corrupted.
So, as this question blooms into a choice to join God in the work He is doing, I seek to bring myself into a place where my will is absent, leaving this choice to follow not subject to feeling or whim and seek the Will, Word and Motivation of the Spirit of God, the Holy Counselor, through prayer, study and reflection.
And the possibilities are enormous, frightening to the flesh and peaceful to the spirit.
Saturday, May 23
Refreshed for the journey....
"[Elijah] then walked another whole day into the desert. Finally, he came to a large bush and sat down in its shade. He begged the LORD, "I've had enough. Just let me die! I'm no better off than my ancestors." Then he lay down in the shade and fell asleep. Suddenly an angel woke him up and said, "Get up and eat." Elijah looked around, and by his head was a jar of water and some baked bread. He sat up, ate and drank, then lay down and went back to sleep. Soon the LORD's angel woke him again and said, "Get up and eat, or else you'll get too tired to travel." So Elijah sat up and ate and drank. The food and water made him strong enough to walk forty more days. At last, he reached Mount Sinai, the mountain of God, and he spent the night there in a cave. While Elijah was on Mount Sinai, the LORD asked, "Elijah, why are you here?" He answered, "LORD God All-Powerful, I've always done my best to obey you. But your people have broken their solemn promise to you. They have torn down your altars and killed all your prophets, except me. And now they are even trying to kill me!" "Go out and stand on the mountain," the LORD replied. "I want you to see me when I pass by." All at once, a strong wind shook the mountain and shattered the rocks. But the LORD was not in the wind. Next, there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. Then there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. Finally, there was a gentle breeze, and when Elijah heard it, he covered his face with his coat. He went out and stood at the entrance to the cave. The LORD asked, "Elijah, why are you here?" Elijah answered, "LORD God All-Powerful, I've always done my best to obey you. But your people have broken their solemn promise to you. They have torn down your altars and killed all your prophets, except me. And now they are even trying to kill me!" The LORD said: Elijah, you can go back to the desert near Damascus. And when you get there, appoint Hazael to be king of Syria. Then appoint Jehu son of Nimshi to be king of Israel, and Elisha son of Shaphat to take your place as my prophet. Hazael will start killing the people who worship Baal. Jehu will kill those who escape from Hazael, and Elisha will kill those who escape from Jehu. But seven thousand Israelites have refused to worship Baal, and they will live." (1 Kings 19:4-18 CEV)
Elijah, one of the great prophets of Israel's history, who followed in the footsteps of one seemingly even mightier than he was, was finished.....the road of following God's purpose defeating him and bringing his own humanity into death's grip. So he ran.....as far and as fast as he could until exhaustion seemed to overtake him and he fell asleep under the shade of a tree, his mind shutting down from the stress of what he was running from. God, nothing more than the confrontation that God was bringing by Elijah's prophecying. God is a pretty mighty foe to run from. He had reached the 'breaking point' of his humanity and wanted it finished, over with. Elijah and I are soul brothers in this feeling.
The nails are removed from the boards that I had sealed the door to that childhood home I once 'lived' in human terms but where my spirit, in Christ's terms (or Eldridge's terms), died at the hand of the despot ruler of the kingdom contained within the walls of the Wormer home......that is where the atrocities of the King happened....the apartment in Ferndale on the street off of Woodward where he served as a landlord tenant still stands but there is only one of the happy memories of my mother...that short fiery woman of Polish descent....stirring a big shiny pot on the stove in the tiny kitchen and an innocent little boy asking shyly what she was cooking and her response that was made in jest but had frightened that little one so bad he didn't want to eat it....."My witch's brew". The shock and guilt that flashed across her face when she realized the fear that it caused was one of the many faces that her love showed in the years that I was blessed to have her in my life.
The giants pound on the walls of that house on Wormer, in the shadow of St. Paul's monastary, as if they can smell the very blood that flows in my veins and remember the delicious taste of my young soul....wanting it more, since they haven't been fed in years and years since I've nailed the door shut and tried my best to make the vision of the King's prophecies come true. I shake with a fear that comes from the core of my being....sweat from the incredible heat that seems to consume even the sweet air of the Lord's gifting of the Counselor making my body try and regulate my body's overheating condition. The knob in my hand, to the front door on that little porch that was in front of the house, seems to turn against my will...my hand is actually straining to keep it closed..."Oh, tried it," I'd say, "but it was locked up tight. So sorry Lord." It opens, the creaking reaching down into my soul with naily barbs to run fresh wounding jagged lines into the depth of my soul. I can imagine the depth of Christ's cry when His Heavenly Father had to turn His back on Him....the despair that formed the words, "My God, My God! Why have you forsaken Me!"
The darkness is total, though the sun is high in the sky...nothing prenetrates the soul of this house. Nothing good, at least. What is God doing in this place, why must I travel the roads that are best forgotten and erased? To face my father is to face myself, to find accountability for his actions and inactions to hold myself to account for those actions, for I share too much of him to disassociate myself even if I could try. The door is open.....and I am of Elijah's "Kill me, I''ve had enough!"
I don't want to go in; to face the reaction of the man who hated so much the curse of having a son who looked like him but was so much 'weaker' than he would ever be or ever was. A boy who was prone to 'daydreaming' because there could be no illness in his family...from his seed. Even when the epliepsy was diagnosed, after I fell off the kitchen table and bit off my tongue (or at least bit it badly)....it was unacceptable for him. It would set the tone for our relationship all of my life, until the week before he died of a massive heart explosion (doctor's words). I told him that I had given up on trying to please him and be like him, and of hating him for seeing his face in the mirror each morning.....I had come to bury the hatchet. He seemed surprised that I would ever think that he would be disappointed in me. Apparently the life I led was as much a mystery to him as it was to me in that childhood; a father divorced from his family for the sake of work....classic Lewis. But, an accounting was never given and so resolution and redemption never obtained. A week later, my sister called with the news.
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
I fear to face those giants contained within these walls; the images haunting my sleep and my waking hours, yet Christ overcame the world and therefore I have within me, as kinsmen, the same ability.
But God knows me so well and knows this journey home is impossible without Him and even then, it will have to stretch my faith and my relationship with Him to new depths. He knows the journey ahead into the darkened depths of this house will cost me in strength, pain and anguish...so He gives me the grace to refresh at each turn, each discovery, to come to a place where an accounting is given, responsibility assigned and then healing through the forgiveness of a absent father who created a ghost son can be more real and encompassing that it was before. He promises me, and so I refresh before I enter.
"When we choose to believe the promises of God, we will have the strength to endure all the broken promises of the world." Teresa Ortiz tells us in her blog, "If we set our hearts and minds on heavenly things – Knowing and loving God by studying His word, and loving people, He promises to walk with us through our trials – or carry us when we can no longer stand."
God has shown me, in the end of this journey, what prizes He has for me to give; the ability to walk into the darkness of another's soul and sit within with them speaking God's love, provision, and strength until they too obtain that which God has brought them to get and freedom from sin, from humanly assigned purposes and from the past are realized under the flowing water of Christ's sacrifice. This is the taste of heaven we can have on earth.
This is the song He has begun to teach me in the gathering darkness of the past, as a journey into its depths is begun and the end of it comes into sight....to sing, to praise and to worship the I AM in the blessings of His friendship, His love and His promises. For when I walk into the purpose to which He calls me, these things I will need to know in the depth of my heart so that I can give it to others in their need, in their journeys.........
"You have turned my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever." Psalm 30:11-12
For the few who will be saved through the telling of my story, through the encompassing of my smaller story in the greater context of God's bigger story......through the trials, tribulations and destruction of a dead and dying world as man walks further and further from God's hand...
Oh Lord, let me speak that they hear You, let me live that they see You and let me die that they might see that You live........not in the storm, earthquake or tempest but in the gentle wind that comes before it....speaking the promises of Your love into the souls in need of refreshment...
AMEN
Elijah, one of the great prophets of Israel's history, who followed in the footsteps of one seemingly even mightier than he was, was finished.....the road of following God's purpose defeating him and bringing his own humanity into death's grip. So he ran.....as far and as fast as he could until exhaustion seemed to overtake him and he fell asleep under the shade of a tree, his mind shutting down from the stress of what he was running from. God, nothing more than the confrontation that God was bringing by Elijah's prophecying. God is a pretty mighty foe to run from. He had reached the 'breaking point' of his humanity and wanted it finished, over with. Elijah and I are soul brothers in this feeling.
The nails are removed from the boards that I had sealed the door to that childhood home I once 'lived' in human terms but where my spirit, in Christ's terms (or Eldridge's terms), died at the hand of the despot ruler of the kingdom contained within the walls of the Wormer home......that is where the atrocities of the King happened....the apartment in Ferndale on the street off of Woodward where he served as a landlord tenant still stands but there is only one of the happy memories of my mother...that short fiery woman of Polish descent....stirring a big shiny pot on the stove in the tiny kitchen and an innocent little boy asking shyly what she was cooking and her response that was made in jest but had frightened that little one so bad he didn't want to eat it....."My witch's brew". The shock and guilt that flashed across her face when she realized the fear that it caused was one of the many faces that her love showed in the years that I was blessed to have her in my life.
The giants pound on the walls of that house on Wormer, in the shadow of St. Paul's monastary, as if they can smell the very blood that flows in my veins and remember the delicious taste of my young soul....wanting it more, since they haven't been fed in years and years since I've nailed the door shut and tried my best to make the vision of the King's prophecies come true. I shake with a fear that comes from the core of my being....sweat from the incredible heat that seems to consume even the sweet air of the Lord's gifting of the Counselor making my body try and regulate my body's overheating condition. The knob in my hand, to the front door on that little porch that was in front of the house, seems to turn against my will...my hand is actually straining to keep it closed..."Oh, tried it," I'd say, "but it was locked up tight. So sorry Lord." It opens, the creaking reaching down into my soul with naily barbs to run fresh wounding jagged lines into the depth of my soul. I can imagine the depth of Christ's cry when His Heavenly Father had to turn His back on Him....the despair that formed the words, "My God, My God! Why have you forsaken Me!"
The darkness is total, though the sun is high in the sky...nothing prenetrates the soul of this house. Nothing good, at least. What is God doing in this place, why must I travel the roads that are best forgotten and erased? To face my father is to face myself, to find accountability for his actions and inactions to hold myself to account for those actions, for I share too much of him to disassociate myself even if I could try. The door is open.....and I am of Elijah's "Kill me, I''ve had enough!"
I don't want to go in; to face the reaction of the man who hated so much the curse of having a son who looked like him but was so much 'weaker' than he would ever be or ever was. A boy who was prone to 'daydreaming' because there could be no illness in his family...from his seed. Even when the epliepsy was diagnosed, after I fell off the kitchen table and bit off my tongue (or at least bit it badly)....it was unacceptable for him. It would set the tone for our relationship all of my life, until the week before he died of a massive heart explosion (doctor's words). I told him that I had given up on trying to please him and be like him, and of hating him for seeing his face in the mirror each morning.....I had come to bury the hatchet. He seemed surprised that I would ever think that he would be disappointed in me. Apparently the life I led was as much a mystery to him as it was to me in that childhood; a father divorced from his family for the sake of work....classic Lewis. But, an accounting was never given and so resolution and redemption never obtained. A week later, my sister called with the news.
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
I fear to face those giants contained within these walls; the images haunting my sleep and my waking hours, yet Christ overcame the world and therefore I have within me, as kinsmen, the same ability.
But God knows me so well and knows this journey home is impossible without Him and even then, it will have to stretch my faith and my relationship with Him to new depths. He knows the journey ahead into the darkened depths of this house will cost me in strength, pain and anguish...so He gives me the grace to refresh at each turn, each discovery, to come to a place where an accounting is given, responsibility assigned and then healing through the forgiveness of a absent father who created a ghost son can be more real and encompassing that it was before. He promises me, and so I refresh before I enter.
"When we choose to believe the promises of God, we will have the strength to endure all the broken promises of the world." Teresa Ortiz tells us in her blog, "If we set our hearts and minds on heavenly things – Knowing and loving God by studying His word, and loving people, He promises to walk with us through our trials – or carry us when we can no longer stand."
God has shown me, in the end of this journey, what prizes He has for me to give; the ability to walk into the darkness of another's soul and sit within with them speaking God's love, provision, and strength until they too obtain that which God has brought them to get and freedom from sin, from humanly assigned purposes and from the past are realized under the flowing water of Christ's sacrifice. This is the taste of heaven we can have on earth.
This is the song He has begun to teach me in the gathering darkness of the past, as a journey into its depths is begun and the end of it comes into sight....to sing, to praise and to worship the I AM in the blessings of His friendship, His love and His promises. For when I walk into the purpose to which He calls me, these things I will need to know in the depth of my heart so that I can give it to others in their need, in their journeys.........
"You have turned my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever." Psalm 30:11-12
For the few who will be saved through the telling of my story, through the encompassing of my smaller story in the greater context of God's bigger story......through the trials, tribulations and destruction of a dead and dying world as man walks further and further from God's hand...
Oh Lord, let me speak that they hear You, let me live that they see You and let me die that they might see that You live........not in the storm, earthquake or tempest but in the gentle wind that comes before it....speaking the promises of Your love into the souls in need of refreshment...
AMEN
Wednesday, May 13
A house of horrors and seeking the beloved...
"No one will be able to oppose you successfully as long as you live. I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will never neglect you or abandon you. Be strong and courageous, because you will help these people take possession of the land I swore to give their ancestors. "Only be strong and very courageous, faithfully doing everything in the teachings that my servant Moses commanded you. Don't turn away from them. Then you will succeed wherever you go. Never stop reciting these teachings. You must think about them night and day so that you will faithfully do everything written in them. Only then will you prosper and succeed. "I have commanded you, 'Be strong and courageous! Don't tremble or be terrified, because the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.'"" (Joshua 1:5-9 GW)
"Spiritual strength and energy, the courage of faith," John Darby says, "are necessary, in order that the heart may be bold enough to obey, may be free from the influences, the fears, and the motives which act upon the natural man....."
When God introduced this verse to me yesterday, I felt it was a precusor to the battle that lies ahead in confronting the church in its duplicity within the worldly realm of humanism and the particularly bitter wounds that it has visited upon me in my pursuit of my ministry calling. That is what I was going to blog about, but I never felt the easiness of the words flowing nor was able to contribute the time to 'coax' them out. Usually, as if one would think I should automatically realize by now, that means that the intent I heard behind the word wasn't God's but my own.
Last night, I had the priviledge of sitting with some of my band of brothers under the tutelage of John Eldridge, author of Wild at Heart (and a wealth of other books) and the Ransomed Hearts Ministries. My brother in Christ, Kurt, had purchased tickets and a friend from the Awanas program was willing to watch my son while I attended this Monday meeting. Though I have read and felt there was some worth to Eldridge's books, I've felt that he never really was 'deep' enough for me. Didn't have the answers, the formulas, or the ideas I needed to grow. I truly only attended because I have learned that when God moves my brother to do something, usually there is a collision coming.....between me and a point God wants me to confront.
I humbly submit that I was wrong about John Eldridge and the wisdom that he writes within his books.....the effectiveness and passion of the man is not found there.....to experience the story behind the stories, you really have to see him in person. And listen to him tell a story; of boyhood, of the cowboy, of the warrior, the king and the sage.
He is but another teacher, abiet a more distant one than my current teacher, God is using to entice me and countless other men to allow God to bring true masculinity and spirituality into their lives. Like Lewis of Men's Fraternity, Dr. Crabb, Dallas Willard, Matt Lobel of Out of the Wild, and the group of Mighty Able Men; Kurt, Ken, Randy, and Scott. Some are willing to fight alongside me, to live life in its imperfectness with me. Others speak wisdom, enticing me to turn around and face that which has devastated and crushed that 'boy' of so long ago. Most are willing to stand and hold me up, edifying me when I question my own validity in this pursuit. All call every man to battle the fierce giants that stomp unchecked in their lives and prevent them from being fathered by the Father.
My brother in Christ and I had a long talk on the trip back to my car, and the tasks of single parenthood; picking up my son, going home, getting him to sleep, and working on getting myself to the same state....to do another day, to step out into the world that is reality in a broken world. Swirling images, bitterness, and mourning complicated those tasks. They still do today and may for some time. The giant isn't the church in its humanity, but the wounded soul of a boy.
And he looks bigger and stronger than that puny giant that the church has become.
How prophetic it seems now, my son's desire out of the blue to 'know where his father came from', to visit the old neighborhood....to see where his dad did the 'generalities' of life (school, home, friends, adventures). The house on Wormer still stands, I'm sure, though I have not travelled down that street in years although I have been in that neighborhood because my children's mother lived there with her boyfriend for a time. The images of what lies hidden within that house, in the past of its history, are more vivid today than they were growing up.........more powerful and more frightening than they ever had the weight of as a child. Unless the current or previous owners have gutted it completely, I can walk the layout; the front room, the short hallway that contained the two first floor bedrooms (my parent's and my younger sister's) and the bathroom (only one for a family of five). At the juncture of that hallway, a opening from the living room, the dark recess of the short hall, the opening for the kitchen and right behind you (facing that darkned hall) is the door to the upstairs. To the world I lived in and the one I still cling to today. Four walls containing the world I knew and haven't allowed change to come to....Johnny Horton's album playing over and over upon the LP player I somehow had, "North to Alaska....we're going north, the rush is on." Calling me to an adventure of risk and dangers untold....
I faced that house when I was invited to share with my (as of tomorrow) ex-wife during a marriage retreat; the parent-child dialogue that brought it into my view for the first time since the family no longer called it home. Like the Amityville Horror, its eyes gazed unwaveringly out at me as I stood on the sidewalk, as if to say....'Come, enter your house of horrors and be damned.' The totality of its reality brought full force into my mind, elicting a gasp from my mouth from it's impact.....that trip into that house of my broken childhood to face the specter of who claimed the name father was a bitter, heart-breaking, and sorrowful experience. In front of other couples, to boot. Shutting the door on that was a relief....a bone-felt, marrow deep relief.
And God wants me to go back. There is, as my BIC said, unfinished business within its smoke-stained, plastic-covered furnitured, and darkened halls.
I'm not afraid to say I'm down right frightened beyond the point of reality, the image after haunting image bouncing like richocheting bullets (equally as damaging) inside the recess of my mind. In the kingdom of my father, even the court jester had it better than I.
The sins of my father, the cruelity of the verbal and emotional abuse that was visited upon the middle son, for no other reason than the luck of the draw in my birth. For I bore the face of the king of that painfully dark realm and earned the wrath of it because I wasn't what he thought I should be. Not the genius of my elder brother nor the mechanical inate abilities of the younger. Any desire to protect that was biologically supposed to be engrained, as evidenced in my sister, was bleached away in the inadequacey and diasppointment of a father towards the son who's image was his own. Who was weak, a daydreamer with no discernable talent, a weakling with a handicap, and yet, in the cruelest twist of fate, bore his own image. Unlike the other sons, here was the one most like him physically and so far from what he felt a son of his should be.
Now I can understand why my mother (not the one of birth, but the one who raised me) was so angry at my father for the picture he chose when I was at the Hall of the Divine Child military school.....my dress cap was down low enough to cause a shadow to cover my upper facial features. Everyone else''s was clear. As if to hide the fact that I was his son. And that is the only place I was worthy to live, to be allowed to live, was in the shadows where such horror couldn't be seen by the light of day.
It struck me as odd when I visited that house on that day along the shore of the western side of Michigan that the images of the others in that house were shrouded in mystery or blurry snapshot-like glances as I walked that short, dark hallway towards my father's room....no clear images of my brothers, no memories of what we did---as all young children do---no adventures, no shared friends, no memories exists in the fabric of my mind of such things. A younger version of my birth mother, the memory of caring for me when I was stung by a bee doesn't float to the surface of the wreckage.....my sister, in her younger years.....nothing. It struck me as Scott brought my ex and I closer to that dialogue experience how much of my memories of that house were like that of a ghost, a wraif, a creature who had no weight.
Eldridge said that God has a way of bringing us back to those stages of masculinity that have been skipped, tarnished, and unfinished because His whole desire is to finish the unfinished man. And each stage interlocks with the others for the necessary foundation of it all. If a boy isn't treasured and given the understanding that he is the Beloved son of the father.....life will remain unfinished; bitter and broken. Because God wants to father the fatherless; even those who's biological dad remains a part of their lives.
In that house of my childhood, sheathed in darkness and foreboding.....where the crimes and abusive parenting left bleeding and dying upon the floor of its altars the body of the beloved son......God, in all His immortal craziness, calls me to go. I stand upon the stop in the grass I can still find today where I fell asleep in the front of this house; failing to keep this man from leaving or even acknowledging my sobbing pleas as he got into that pea-green station wagon and left.....and where the burn from that event remains today an indentifying mark upon my arm----standing there frozen in fear and loathing. The house of my horror, the house of my unfinished masculinity.
This is where God calls me to go and where even angels fear to tread.
One might wonder what this has to do with the verse quoted above.... Imagine, Joshua lived under the guidance and 'protection' of the massive figure of Moses. He was free from the weight of responsibility and doubt, those were Moses' burdens to bear as he brought the Israelites through 40 years in the desert. Now, suddenly on the cusp of realization of the Promised Land, Moses is gone...and Joshua takes the mantle of leading a people. There is no indication that Joshua knew of Moses' ban nor that he would assume such heavy responsibility.
As this duty passes on to him, there isn't silence. God boldly steps into the face of his fears, worries, and doubts and tells him to do what he knows to do and that the promises and assurances He gave Moses will be Joshua's to have. God will walk with us into the face of our fears, whispering words of strength, encouragment and power into our frozen feet and our paralyzed minds.
D.L. Moody says that many of the promises God has given to His people, to us, "seem to be pretty pictures of an ideal peace and rest, but are not appropriated as practical helps in daily life. And not one of these promises is more neglected that the assurance of salvation. An open Bible places them within reach of all, and we may appropriate the blessing which such a knowledge brings."
John Darby said, "The most difficult path, that which leads to the sharpest conflict, is but the road to victory and repose, causing us to increase in the knowledge of God. It is the road in which we are in communion with God, with Him who is the source of all joy; it is the earnest and the foretaste of eternal and infinite happiness."
As my knowledge of God increases and the desire to be His grows, I will face such giants that have been familiar companions in my life, but stand in the way of realizing God's love for me.
What holds you back from the love of God? Are you aware that you are Beloved and Purposed? What demons must you conquer to be in the peace and contentment of the eternal promise?
I know one I must explore and lay to rest..........the Prodigal is going home...........
"Spiritual strength and energy, the courage of faith," John Darby says, "are necessary, in order that the heart may be bold enough to obey, may be free from the influences, the fears, and the motives which act upon the natural man....."
When God introduced this verse to me yesterday, I felt it was a precusor to the battle that lies ahead in confronting the church in its duplicity within the worldly realm of humanism and the particularly bitter wounds that it has visited upon me in my pursuit of my ministry calling. That is what I was going to blog about, but I never felt the easiness of the words flowing nor was able to contribute the time to 'coax' them out. Usually, as if one would think I should automatically realize by now, that means that the intent I heard behind the word wasn't God's but my own.
Last night, I had the priviledge of sitting with some of my band of brothers under the tutelage of John Eldridge, author of Wild at Heart (and a wealth of other books) and the Ransomed Hearts Ministries. My brother in Christ, Kurt, had purchased tickets and a friend from the Awanas program was willing to watch my son while I attended this Monday meeting. Though I have read and felt there was some worth to Eldridge's books, I've felt that he never really was 'deep' enough for me. Didn't have the answers, the formulas, or the ideas I needed to grow. I truly only attended because I have learned that when God moves my brother to do something, usually there is a collision coming.....between me and a point God wants me to confront.
I humbly submit that I was wrong about John Eldridge and the wisdom that he writes within his books.....the effectiveness and passion of the man is not found there.....to experience the story behind the stories, you really have to see him in person. And listen to him tell a story; of boyhood, of the cowboy, of the warrior, the king and the sage.
He is but another teacher, abiet a more distant one than my current teacher, God is using to entice me and countless other men to allow God to bring true masculinity and spirituality into their lives. Like Lewis of Men's Fraternity, Dr. Crabb, Dallas Willard, Matt Lobel of Out of the Wild, and the group of Mighty Able Men; Kurt, Ken, Randy, and Scott. Some are willing to fight alongside me, to live life in its imperfectness with me. Others speak wisdom, enticing me to turn around and face that which has devastated and crushed that 'boy' of so long ago. Most are willing to stand and hold me up, edifying me when I question my own validity in this pursuit. All call every man to battle the fierce giants that stomp unchecked in their lives and prevent them from being fathered by the Father.
My brother in Christ and I had a long talk on the trip back to my car, and the tasks of single parenthood; picking up my son, going home, getting him to sleep, and working on getting myself to the same state....to do another day, to step out into the world that is reality in a broken world. Swirling images, bitterness, and mourning complicated those tasks. They still do today and may for some time. The giant isn't the church in its humanity, but the wounded soul of a boy.
And he looks bigger and stronger than that puny giant that the church has become.
How prophetic it seems now, my son's desire out of the blue to 'know where his father came from', to visit the old neighborhood....to see where his dad did the 'generalities' of life (school, home, friends, adventures). The house on Wormer still stands, I'm sure, though I have not travelled down that street in years although I have been in that neighborhood because my children's mother lived there with her boyfriend for a time. The images of what lies hidden within that house, in the past of its history, are more vivid today than they were growing up.........more powerful and more frightening than they ever had the weight of as a child. Unless the current or previous owners have gutted it completely, I can walk the layout; the front room, the short hallway that contained the two first floor bedrooms (my parent's and my younger sister's) and the bathroom (only one for a family of five). At the juncture of that hallway, a opening from the living room, the dark recess of the short hall, the opening for the kitchen and right behind you (facing that darkned hall) is the door to the upstairs. To the world I lived in and the one I still cling to today. Four walls containing the world I knew and haven't allowed change to come to....Johnny Horton's album playing over and over upon the LP player I somehow had, "North to Alaska....we're going north, the rush is on." Calling me to an adventure of risk and dangers untold....
I faced that house when I was invited to share with my (as of tomorrow) ex-wife during a marriage retreat; the parent-child dialogue that brought it into my view for the first time since the family no longer called it home. Like the Amityville Horror, its eyes gazed unwaveringly out at me as I stood on the sidewalk, as if to say....'Come, enter your house of horrors and be damned.' The totality of its reality brought full force into my mind, elicting a gasp from my mouth from it's impact.....that trip into that house of my broken childhood to face the specter of who claimed the name father was a bitter, heart-breaking, and sorrowful experience. In front of other couples, to boot. Shutting the door on that was a relief....a bone-felt, marrow deep relief.
And God wants me to go back. There is, as my BIC said, unfinished business within its smoke-stained, plastic-covered furnitured, and darkened halls.
I'm not afraid to say I'm down right frightened beyond the point of reality, the image after haunting image bouncing like richocheting bullets (equally as damaging) inside the recess of my mind. In the kingdom of my father, even the court jester had it better than I.
The sins of my father, the cruelity of the verbal and emotional abuse that was visited upon the middle son, for no other reason than the luck of the draw in my birth. For I bore the face of the king of that painfully dark realm and earned the wrath of it because I wasn't what he thought I should be. Not the genius of my elder brother nor the mechanical inate abilities of the younger. Any desire to protect that was biologically supposed to be engrained, as evidenced in my sister, was bleached away in the inadequacey and diasppointment of a father towards the son who's image was his own. Who was weak, a daydreamer with no discernable talent, a weakling with a handicap, and yet, in the cruelest twist of fate, bore his own image. Unlike the other sons, here was the one most like him physically and so far from what he felt a son of his should be.
Now I can understand why my mother (not the one of birth, but the one who raised me) was so angry at my father for the picture he chose when I was at the Hall of the Divine Child military school.....my dress cap was down low enough to cause a shadow to cover my upper facial features. Everyone else''s was clear. As if to hide the fact that I was his son. And that is the only place I was worthy to live, to be allowed to live, was in the shadows where such horror couldn't be seen by the light of day.
It struck me as odd when I visited that house on that day along the shore of the western side of Michigan that the images of the others in that house were shrouded in mystery or blurry snapshot-like glances as I walked that short, dark hallway towards my father's room....no clear images of my brothers, no memories of what we did---as all young children do---no adventures, no shared friends, no memories exists in the fabric of my mind of such things. A younger version of my birth mother, the memory of caring for me when I was stung by a bee doesn't float to the surface of the wreckage.....my sister, in her younger years.....nothing. It struck me as Scott brought my ex and I closer to that dialogue experience how much of my memories of that house were like that of a ghost, a wraif, a creature who had no weight.
Eldridge said that God has a way of bringing us back to those stages of masculinity that have been skipped, tarnished, and unfinished because His whole desire is to finish the unfinished man. And each stage interlocks with the others for the necessary foundation of it all. If a boy isn't treasured and given the understanding that he is the Beloved son of the father.....life will remain unfinished; bitter and broken. Because God wants to father the fatherless; even those who's biological dad remains a part of their lives.
In that house of my childhood, sheathed in darkness and foreboding.....where the crimes and abusive parenting left bleeding and dying upon the floor of its altars the body of the beloved son......God, in all His immortal craziness, calls me to go. I stand upon the stop in the grass I can still find today where I fell asleep in the front of this house; failing to keep this man from leaving or even acknowledging my sobbing pleas as he got into that pea-green station wagon and left.....and where the burn from that event remains today an indentifying mark upon my arm----standing there frozen in fear and loathing. The house of my horror, the house of my unfinished masculinity.
This is where God calls me to go and where even angels fear to tread.
One might wonder what this has to do with the verse quoted above.... Imagine, Joshua lived under the guidance and 'protection' of the massive figure of Moses. He was free from the weight of responsibility and doubt, those were Moses' burdens to bear as he brought the Israelites through 40 years in the desert. Now, suddenly on the cusp of realization of the Promised Land, Moses is gone...and Joshua takes the mantle of leading a people. There is no indication that Joshua knew of Moses' ban nor that he would assume such heavy responsibility.
As this duty passes on to him, there isn't silence. God boldly steps into the face of his fears, worries, and doubts and tells him to do what he knows to do and that the promises and assurances He gave Moses will be Joshua's to have. God will walk with us into the face of our fears, whispering words of strength, encouragment and power into our frozen feet and our paralyzed minds.
D.L. Moody says that many of the promises God has given to His people, to us, "seem to be pretty pictures of an ideal peace and rest, but are not appropriated as practical helps in daily life. And not one of these promises is more neglected that the assurance of salvation. An open Bible places them within reach of all, and we may appropriate the blessing which such a knowledge brings."
John Darby said, "The most difficult path, that which leads to the sharpest conflict, is but the road to victory and repose, causing us to increase in the knowledge of God. It is the road in which we are in communion with God, with Him who is the source of all joy; it is the earnest and the foretaste of eternal and infinite happiness."
As my knowledge of God increases and the desire to be His grows, I will face such giants that have been familiar companions in my life, but stand in the way of realizing God's love for me.
What holds you back from the love of God? Are you aware that you are Beloved and Purposed? What demons must you conquer to be in the peace and contentment of the eternal promise?
I know one I must explore and lay to rest..........the Prodigal is going home...........
Thursday, October 9
True warriors for the King
Last night, while I attended the Men's bible study at the College street campus of The River, I was caught up in the thought ofhe great battle in Heaven, between Archangel Michael and Satan. I guess it was because of the discussion of John Eldredge's book, Wild at Heart, which the group is currently using. Eldredge's talk of Braveheart and movies of that type that stirs something in the hearts of men....the warrior heart.
The question was put on the table by the group leader, Dan, about why is the men's ministry (specifically at The River) was so poorly attended as opposed to the women's ministry. I put forth that the Gospel has been 'feminized' and doesn't speak to men's hearts, but with the growing movement within the body of Christ to regain the masculinity of men and restore it to the God-designed purpose, it seems that such an explanation falls short of the full truth.
Eldredge says that men need 'permission', perhaps to themselves, to be true godly men. Robert Lewis, of Men's Fraternity, says that society has redefined masculinity into a 'feminized' manhood that is far from the truth. Yet, as we walk the hallways of our churches and open our eyes to the powerful imagery and effect of the Scriptures....we don't see the 'godly man', we see 'churchy men'.
God isn't just a god of love. God is full of wrath, vengeance, and jealousy. He is complete, yet only the 'feminine' qualities are announced in the church congregations. God is also a God of War....and men were meant to be His warriors.
Michael and the rest of the Heavenly Host once stood against the vastly superior numbers of Satan's army and held.
Not much is mentioned in the churches today concerning this 'great and epic' battle between the forces of Good (Michael and the remaining angels) vs. Satan, the Great Deceiver, and something like 2/3rds of the Heavenly Host. The Bible doesn't go into much detail about the actual battle itself; the battle was not in the Deceiver's favor and he was cast down with his army to earth.
Revelation 12:7-12: "And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down, that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: "Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short."
All of Heaven rejoiced with the victory upon the battlefield of Heaven and a warning was sent down to those who lived on the earth, warning that the Devil was filled with fury because he knew his temporary power upon the earth would be short-lived. Whereas angels once led the charge against the Evil One the battle, which still rages today, falls upon the sons of man, equipped by the Holy Spirit and empowered by Jesus Christ's triumph.
From the silence of Adam to the modern day destruction of the family, men are failing to account for their complacency and failure to stand with their backs against the order and beauty that God created them to fight for, protect, and guard against as they face the growing destruction and chaos of a world torn by the enemy forces of a vanquished foe, who knows that he is destined to be utterly defeated. Men don't want to be held accountable for their inaction.
If we would only look to the first battle raged against the forces of Good by the scheming of Evil, we could find our secret; that weapon that brings us assured victory and helps us move into the wilderness of chaos and destruction.....against a vastly superiorly numbered force. We were designed for better, and given the blood of Christ with the strength of our struggles (testimony), to overcome this arrayed army.
We should heed the story of the King of Tyre in the book of Ezekiel, chapter 28. There is a debate amongst biblical scholars about the king of Tyre; this passage speaks of either, an ancient ruler of the city of Tyre named Ethbaal, or Ithobal, a future end-time religious/military leader, Satan, and/or all three. And, of course, there are the wilder theories, such as "the Christian's Satan is none other than the ancient Poseidon aka Neptune."
"Son of man, take up a lament concerning the king of Tyre and say to him: `This is what the Sovereign LORD says: "`You were the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: ruby, topaz and emerald, chrysolite, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared. You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you. Through your widespread trade you were filled with violence, and you sinned. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God, and I expelled you, O guardian cherub, from among the fiery stones. Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings. By your many sins and dishonest trade you have desecrated your sanctuaries. So I made a fire come out from you, and it consumed you, and I reduced you to ashes on the ground in the sight of all who were watching. All the nations who knew you are appalled at you; you have come to a horrible end and will be no more."
Ancient Tyre was a coastal city of Palestine, which now lies in ruins partially reclaimed by the sea. A newer city was built, but not on the original site. It was the capital of trade in ancient times and a very desirable target for the opposing nations. Alexander conquered it by building a road across the sea to lay siege to it.
The human King of Tyre wouldn't have been created, but born of man, and so was far from perfect. He didn't have access to the Garden or to God's throne, being mortal. Rather, this human king was most likely representative of what Satan was and what man could become.
"Many expositors have suggested that besides the literal sense of this lamentation there is an allegory in it, and that it is an allusion to the fall of the angels that sinned, who undid themselves by their pride. And (as is usual in texts that have a mystical meaning) some passages here refer primarily to the king of Tyre, as that of his merchandises, others to the angels, as that of being in the holy mountain of God." Matthew Henry writes about this chapter, "But, if there be any thing mystical in it (as perhaps there may), I shall rather refer it to the fall of Adam, which seems to be glanced at."
Lucifer had the potential to remain perfect and do good works or lose that perfection and produce evil, worthless works and we know, by the battle that raged upon the heavenly landscape, what course he chose. Man is created to live perfectly and chose the same destructive route as Lucifer did; from Adam on down through the generations.
The King of Tyre was looked upon as the wisest among the capabilities of men to be such, and happy in the human way that riches can create, and enjoyed the pursuit of life. He was the complete man, perfect among his kind. He thought of himself as the guardian angel of his people; bright, strong, faithful, appointed, and qualified for the 'office' to which he laid claim. His ruin lied in what he valued most and what was important to him. Not service to a people that he governed rather the beauty and dazzling splendor of his kingdom. He was so concerned with his own sense of greatness that he lost the ability to discern wisdom and the value of such ability. He became that which he valued, temporary and foolish.
"There is nothing outside the man which, going into him, is able to make him unclean: but the things which come out of the man are those which make the man unclean." Mark 7:15 (BEB)
Such is the warning of what happens when men turn the power given by God to be spiritual leaders and the 'head' of the household into unjust self-service. We will fall like Satan did, in the Tyre allegory. Like Adam in the Garden. Like countless leaders in the church today.
That is why men, I believe, don't attend men's groups. Because we want to go at it alone due to a fear that we cannot measure up to the illusion of what we should be; a King of Tyre---handsome, wise, and totally destructive in our sinful humanity.
We are not to be Kings of Tyre rather servants to God --like the Archangel Michael, leading into the chaos and defending the order/beauty that God rendered under our care, never retreating, never surrendering.
The true path of manhood, far from the 'steps' of development offered by Eldredge, Lewis, Crabb, and others, is simple (though they each contribute towards the restoration of men);
"I know your works and where you dwell, where Satan's throne is. You hold firmly to my name, and didn't deny my faith in the days of Antipas my witness, my faithful one, who was killed among you, where Satan dwells. But I have a few things against you, because you have there some who hold the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to throw a stumbling block before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit sexual immorality. You also have some who follow what the Nicolaitans teach." Revelation 2:13-15 (WEB)
Standing strong, firm, and with authority....our backs against the beauty and order that God created in our wives, our children, and our friends; facing the chaos and destruction wrought by the Evil one and his minions.
We, instead, have become Nicolaitans and Balaam followers.
The Nicolaitans were a sect of evil influence in the early phase of Christianity, notably in the 7 Asian churches, who ate 'things sacrificed to idols' which was forbidden (Acts 15:29) and most likely fell into a pagan laxity of morals because of their association directly with such practices. Not only did they cause themselves to sin, but they led some in the Pergamum church, and possibly Thyatira, to adopt their teachings.
Balaam was the son of Beor from the Mesopotamian city of Pethor who possessed a gift of prophecy. Balaam knew God, but it appears his knowledge was corrupted by heathen practices and conceptions. He knew enough of God to obey Him, but hoped to win Him over through liberal sacrifices to a self-serving plan of his own. He was a man who loved the gain of unrighteousness, corrupted by superstition, covertness, and wickedness. "Balaam is the type of a teacher of the church who attempts to advance the cause of God by advocating an unholy alliance with the ungodly and worldly, and so conforming the life of the church to the spirit of the flesh." (Bibloc.com)
Men are called to lead among the path to righteousness, through the right use of the power given through the authority of the Spirit, and to defend against false doctrines. In love, in authority, and under accountability.
"By the word of their testimony: the powerful preaching of the gospel is mighty, through God, to pull down strong holds." ---Matthew Henry
Men are called to hold to Christ's holy name, expand and declare their faith in the troubled times where such is not the 'wise' thing to do, cleanly and without humanism or universalist teachings calling us to ignore the Biblical truths for a more 'easier' approach.
The ultimate war, the one for the Kingdom of Heaven, is still raging in the hearts and minds of men, women, and children of the world today and it is becoming more intense and deadly as it approaches the final stages. Christ is calling His Army to the field, to once again defend, protect, and stand against the chaos and destruction of the Evil One. We, men and women, have retreated from this war for far too long. It is time to resume the battle positions to which we were called, purposed, and created for.
Men, we are called to be the warriors we were created to be, loving others as we love ourselves--by the standard set forth by our Father and our kinsman Christ. We are called to fight for God in the spiritual realm where the battles rage; as a husband servant to his wife, as a father mentor for his children, and as a man brother to fellow warriors in the battlefields wounded, lost, and confused.
Our wives call out for the heroes of old; godly men, wild and mighty warriors who fight not only for them, but depend upon them for their contribution to the war. If we were only made to recognize chaos and destruction, it would be our standard for beauty and order. Our wives, who edify and uplift us, and stand within the gap believing in us and for us, are our equals who have willingly submitted themselves to our authority under God's plan. Submission of an equal to a position under the authority, not the dominance of another.
Our children suffer the wounding of our lack of protecting, instructing, and support as they assume their God-given purposes for the Kingdom. We have, through our own inaction and silence, created a generation of walking wounded.....not equipped or able to fight the battles that Satan brings against the faithful.
Will the warriors of the Army of God be ready to follow our Captain, the Lord Jesus Christ, into the battle to defeat the Enemy's forces once and for all? Or will we be standing beside those to whom we were accountable for and shrug our shoulders in dismay?
Simcox, "Revelation" in the Cambridge Bible; H. Cowan in Hastings, Dictionary of the Bible (five volumes), article "Nicolaitans"; H.B. Swete, The Apocalypse of John, lxxff;, 27, 28, 37.
Butler's Sermons, "Balaam"; ICC, "Numbers."
http://www.heaven.net.nz/answers/answer19.htm
http://orthodoxwiki.org/Archangel_Michael
The question was put on the table by the group leader, Dan, about why is the men's ministry (specifically at The River) was so poorly attended as opposed to the women's ministry. I put forth that the Gospel has been 'feminized' and doesn't speak to men's hearts, but with the growing movement within the body of Christ to regain the masculinity of men and restore it to the God-designed purpose, it seems that such an explanation falls short of the full truth.
Eldredge says that men need 'permission', perhaps to themselves, to be true godly men. Robert Lewis, of Men's Fraternity, says that society has redefined masculinity into a 'feminized' manhood that is far from the truth. Yet, as we walk the hallways of our churches and open our eyes to the powerful imagery and effect of the Scriptures....we don't see the 'godly man', we see 'churchy men'.
God isn't just a god of love. God is full of wrath, vengeance, and jealousy. He is complete, yet only the 'feminine' qualities are announced in the church congregations. God is also a God of War....and men were meant to be His warriors.
Michael and the rest of the Heavenly Host once stood against the vastly superior numbers of Satan's army and held.
Not much is mentioned in the churches today concerning this 'great and epic' battle between the forces of Good (Michael and the remaining angels) vs. Satan, the Great Deceiver, and something like 2/3rds of the Heavenly Host. The Bible doesn't go into much detail about the actual battle itself; the battle was not in the Deceiver's favor and he was cast down with his army to earth.
Revelation 12:7-12: "And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down, that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: "Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short."
All of Heaven rejoiced with the victory upon the battlefield of Heaven and a warning was sent down to those who lived on the earth, warning that the Devil was filled with fury because he knew his temporary power upon the earth would be short-lived. Whereas angels once led the charge against the Evil One the battle, which still rages today, falls upon the sons of man, equipped by the Holy Spirit and empowered by Jesus Christ's triumph.
From the silence of Adam to the modern day destruction of the family, men are failing to account for their complacency and failure to stand with their backs against the order and beauty that God created them to fight for, protect, and guard against as they face the growing destruction and chaos of a world torn by the enemy forces of a vanquished foe, who knows that he is destined to be utterly defeated. Men don't want to be held accountable for their inaction.
If we would only look to the first battle raged against the forces of Good by the scheming of Evil, we could find our secret; that weapon that brings us assured victory and helps us move into the wilderness of chaos and destruction.....against a vastly superiorly numbered force. We were designed for better, and given the blood of Christ with the strength of our struggles (testimony), to overcome this arrayed army.
We should heed the story of the King of Tyre in the book of Ezekiel, chapter 28. There is a debate amongst biblical scholars about the king of Tyre; this passage speaks of either, an ancient ruler of the city of Tyre named Ethbaal, or Ithobal, a future end-time religious/military leader, Satan, and/or all three. And, of course, there are the wilder theories, such as "the Christian's Satan is none other than the ancient Poseidon aka Neptune."
"Son of man, take up a lament concerning the king of Tyre and say to him: `This is what the Sovereign LORD says: "`You were the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: ruby, topaz and emerald, chrysolite, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared. You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you. Through your widespread trade you were filled with violence, and you sinned. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God, and I expelled you, O guardian cherub, from among the fiery stones. Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings. By your many sins and dishonest trade you have desecrated your sanctuaries. So I made a fire come out from you, and it consumed you, and I reduced you to ashes on the ground in the sight of all who were watching. All the nations who knew you are appalled at you; you have come to a horrible end and will be no more."
Ancient Tyre was a coastal city of Palestine, which now lies in ruins partially reclaimed by the sea. A newer city was built, but not on the original site. It was the capital of trade in ancient times and a very desirable target for the opposing nations. Alexander conquered it by building a road across the sea to lay siege to it.
The human King of Tyre wouldn't have been created, but born of man, and so was far from perfect. He didn't have access to the Garden or to God's throne, being mortal. Rather, this human king was most likely representative of what Satan was and what man could become.
"Many expositors have suggested that besides the literal sense of this lamentation there is an allegory in it, and that it is an allusion to the fall of the angels that sinned, who undid themselves by their pride. And (as is usual in texts that have a mystical meaning) some passages here refer primarily to the king of Tyre, as that of his merchandises, others to the angels, as that of being in the holy mountain of God." Matthew Henry writes about this chapter, "But, if there be any thing mystical in it (as perhaps there may), I shall rather refer it to the fall of Adam, which seems to be glanced at."
Lucifer had the potential to remain perfect and do good works or lose that perfection and produce evil, worthless works and we know, by the battle that raged upon the heavenly landscape, what course he chose. Man is created to live perfectly and chose the same destructive route as Lucifer did; from Adam on down through the generations.
The King of Tyre was looked upon as the wisest among the capabilities of men to be such, and happy in the human way that riches can create, and enjoyed the pursuit of life. He was the complete man, perfect among his kind. He thought of himself as the guardian angel of his people; bright, strong, faithful, appointed, and qualified for the 'office' to which he laid claim. His ruin lied in what he valued most and what was important to him. Not service to a people that he governed rather the beauty and dazzling splendor of his kingdom. He was so concerned with his own sense of greatness that he lost the ability to discern wisdom and the value of such ability. He became that which he valued, temporary and foolish.
"There is nothing outside the man which, going into him, is able to make him unclean: but the things which come out of the man are those which make the man unclean." Mark 7:15 (BEB)
Such is the warning of what happens when men turn the power given by God to be spiritual leaders and the 'head' of the household into unjust self-service. We will fall like Satan did, in the Tyre allegory. Like Adam in the Garden. Like countless leaders in the church today.
That is why men, I believe, don't attend men's groups. Because we want to go at it alone due to a fear that we cannot measure up to the illusion of what we should be; a King of Tyre---handsome, wise, and totally destructive in our sinful humanity.
We are not to be Kings of Tyre rather servants to God --like the Archangel Michael, leading into the chaos and defending the order/beauty that God rendered under our care, never retreating, never surrendering.
The true path of manhood, far from the 'steps' of development offered by Eldredge, Lewis, Crabb, and others, is simple (though they each contribute towards the restoration of men);
"I know your works and where you dwell, where Satan's throne is. You hold firmly to my name, and didn't deny my faith in the days of Antipas my witness, my faithful one, who was killed among you, where Satan dwells. But I have a few things against you, because you have there some who hold the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to throw a stumbling block before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit sexual immorality. You also have some who follow what the Nicolaitans teach." Revelation 2:13-15 (WEB)
Standing strong, firm, and with authority....our backs against the beauty and order that God created in our wives, our children, and our friends; facing the chaos and destruction wrought by the Evil one and his minions.
We, instead, have become Nicolaitans and Balaam followers.
The Nicolaitans were a sect of evil influence in the early phase of Christianity, notably in the 7 Asian churches, who ate 'things sacrificed to idols' which was forbidden (Acts 15:29) and most likely fell into a pagan laxity of morals because of their association directly with such practices. Not only did they cause themselves to sin, but they led some in the Pergamum church, and possibly Thyatira, to adopt their teachings.
Balaam was the son of Beor from the Mesopotamian city of Pethor who possessed a gift of prophecy. Balaam knew God, but it appears his knowledge was corrupted by heathen practices and conceptions. He knew enough of God to obey Him, but hoped to win Him over through liberal sacrifices to a self-serving plan of his own. He was a man who loved the gain of unrighteousness, corrupted by superstition, covertness, and wickedness. "Balaam is the type of a teacher of the church who attempts to advance the cause of God by advocating an unholy alliance with the ungodly and worldly, and so conforming the life of the church to the spirit of the flesh." (Bibloc.com)
Men are called to lead among the path to righteousness, through the right use of the power given through the authority of the Spirit, and to defend against false doctrines. In love, in authority, and under accountability.
"By the word of their testimony: the powerful preaching of the gospel is mighty, through God, to pull down strong holds." ---Matthew Henry
Men are called to hold to Christ's holy name, expand and declare their faith in the troubled times where such is not the 'wise' thing to do, cleanly and without humanism or universalist teachings calling us to ignore the Biblical truths for a more 'easier' approach.
The ultimate war, the one for the Kingdom of Heaven, is still raging in the hearts and minds of men, women, and children of the world today and it is becoming more intense and deadly as it approaches the final stages. Christ is calling His Army to the field, to once again defend, protect, and stand against the chaos and destruction of the Evil One. We, men and women, have retreated from this war for far too long. It is time to resume the battle positions to which we were called, purposed, and created for.
Men, we are called to be the warriors we were created to be, loving others as we love ourselves--by the standard set forth by our Father and our kinsman Christ. We are called to fight for God in the spiritual realm where the battles rage; as a husband servant to his wife, as a father mentor for his children, and as a man brother to fellow warriors in the battlefields wounded, lost, and confused.
Our wives call out for the heroes of old; godly men, wild and mighty warriors who fight not only for them, but depend upon them for their contribution to the war. If we were only made to recognize chaos and destruction, it would be our standard for beauty and order. Our wives, who edify and uplift us, and stand within the gap believing in us and for us, are our equals who have willingly submitted themselves to our authority under God's plan. Submission of an equal to a position under the authority, not the dominance of another.
Our children suffer the wounding of our lack of protecting, instructing, and support as they assume their God-given purposes for the Kingdom. We have, through our own inaction and silence, created a generation of walking wounded.....not equipped or able to fight the battles that Satan brings against the faithful.
Will the warriors of the Army of God be ready to follow our Captain, the Lord Jesus Christ, into the battle to defeat the Enemy's forces once and for all? Or will we be standing beside those to whom we were accountable for and shrug our shoulders in dismay?
Simcox, "Revelation" in the Cambridge Bible; H. Cowan in Hastings, Dictionary of the Bible (five volumes), article "Nicolaitans"; H.B. Swete, The Apocalypse of John, lxxff;, 27, 28, 37.
Butler's Sermons, "Balaam"; ICC, "Numbers."
http://www.heaven.net.nz/answers/answer19.htm
http://orthodoxwiki.org/Archangel_Michael
Thursday, September 25
Wild at Heart, a study with John Eldredge.
"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly....who know the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory or defeat." Teddy Roosevelt, taken from John Eldredge's Wild At Heart introduction.
Every man questions the feelings, desires, and drive within him that from birth seems to drive him counterculturally and disruptively against the flow and ebb of life on this planet. He doesn't want to engage at a personal level, although he still hungers within for that very thing. Too often men wrap themselves up in pursuits...sports, hunting, fishing, extreme adventures, to make up for this need that burns inside them to matter, to challenge the world and succeed. Many times, such pursuits either break the man physically, and seem to leave him emptier than before.
Men are told that they cannot lead as the Bible says, because that is sexist and degrading, as the 'requirement' of women to 'submit' to the authority of their husbands has been misaligned and misused. Too many men deny the desire to lead, to defend, to fight the battle because they are told that such is not the mark of a man.
They deny the manner in which they were born, outside the garden in chaos and destruction, and the purpose to which they were given, the defense and growth of the beauty and order within the Garden.
As a result, men fail to grow up, spiritually and mentally.
But, within the community of Christ and worldwide secularly, there is an awakening of this discord among men.
Last night was the first meeting of the Men's bible study group, which met at the campus (a converted school building) of The River, member of a group of three churches that are led by Pastor Jim Combs, jr., and my first introduction to a group of men led by Dan Baxter and Steve Forney. Rather than just study the Bible, the decision was made to study Wild At Heart; discovering the secret of a Man's soul by John Eldredge of the Ransomed Heart Ministries.
In this book, Eldredge takes the reader through the journey of recovering the masculine hearts of men, as designed and perfected in the image of a passionate God, who were meant to bring strength and wildness to the world. Other books by Eldredge on the topic of discovering the heart of God include Epic, Waking the Dead, The Journey of Desire, Captivating, and The Sacred Romance, all of which I'd highly recommend.
Eldredge is a step deeper in the pursuit of masculinity than Pastor Robert Lewis, founder of The Men's Fraternity program. Eldredge uses the same milestones under different names as Lewis, but seems to take the passion level a bit deeper. As with Lewis' program, it is a great way to entice wavering men into the pursuit of God's intent for our strength and wildness that seems to have been DNA'd from birth. As with Lewis' program, Eldredge's ministry can be used by those women who desire to know what makes their husbands and sons tick, and what the intent of God was when He created them. This is helpful for those women who wish to help their men pursuit their God-ordained purpose.
I have read Eldredge's books, gone through the first year of Robert Lewis' Men's Fraternity and read his book Raising a Modern Day Knight. I would recommend these valuable resources to anyone seeking to right the unchecked wounding of generations of men and bring about a movement against the downward tide of society that has corrupted God's design for centuries.
The journey, of course, doesn't stop there (as those of you who know me know). Matt Lobel's ministry that challenges men into relational living as godly men pursuing God is another step in the journey. His Out of the Wild website, an online fellowship of men from all over, has been a staple of support, counsel, and wisdom for me in the two years I've belonged. It's at www.outofthewild.ning.com.
Scott Engelman, Director of Awakened Hearts, takes men on a deeper quest still. Men Mentoring Men (M3) is a ministry that perfectly blends God's original intent of men, how the deviation from that has caused wounds to permeate the generations since Adam, and carries men through the journey to identify, heal, and correct the gaping wounds of a man's soul. Through such events as Men in the Woods and Rekindling the Heart, Scott and founder of Awakened Hearts Mark Jackson reconnect men with their silent and deadened hearts to reawaken what has lied dormant for far too long. Then they teach men and their wives how to recreate the marriage bond that often times lies weakened and potentially broken because of the wounding of men.
While Pastor Lewis speaks of "shaping the heart of men", Eldredge speaks to 'giving permission' for men to be what they were intended to be----beloved sons made in the image of God. Speaking to the deeper understanding of why men desire adventures, battles, and saving a beauty. He answers why women are unhappy with the men that society has created, who long to be that damsel who has the heart of the Knight, the protection of the Warrior, and the passion of the King.
Eldredge offers Wild At Heart as "a safari of the heart to recover a life of freedom, passion, and adventure."
"The core of a man's heart is undomesticated" Eldredge states in his first chapter, pointing to the 'natural' desire of a man to explore, to seek out new directions, and adventures told over and over in the life stories of men. This is in quest of his heart, to find those answers to "Who am I?", "What am I made of?" and "What am I destined for?"
To answer the question left in doubt by the silence of Adam, "Do I have what it takes?"
Eldredge points out, most men have found themselves not "sensitive enough, safe, manageable, and 'in touch' with their feminine side" and now are being told by the very culture that declared those things to be most desired in men that they aren't 'being men.' Such mettling in God's design by humanity has created a society in chaos, with a gender confusion that has altered the foundation of men and women alike. Men, who were told to be 'nice', have developed a phobia regarding masculinity; keeping promises, talking to their wives, raising their children, and being spiritual leaders. As Eldredge recounts the testimony of a fifty year old man in church, "I've pretty much tried for the last twenty years to be a good man as the church defines it.....dutiful and separated from my heart."
Eldredge uses Robert Bly's lamentation of this destruction and corruption of manhood in Bly's Iron John, "Some women want a passive man if they want a man at all, the church wants a tamed man---they are called priests, the university wants a domesticated man----they are called tenure-track people, the corporation wants a......sanitized, hairless, shallow man."
And we wonder why children are bringing guns to school, confused about their gender, and why a host of sexual deviations such as homosexuality, pornography, and child abuse run rampant in our culture today. Be careful of the monster you create, for as Frankenstein discovered, it will turn on you. This doesn't dismiss men's responsibilities nor places the burden solely upon the feminist movement; rather it is an understanding of 'where all the good men' have gone, forced out by a humanistic decision of what true sexuality in a man and a woman are.
Women have become jaded, lost, and torn too as their needs have been suborned by the same culture who declared that women had to be tough, efficient, and independent----never to subject themselves willingly to the 'leadership and authority' of a man. In making a human decision of the 'submission of a wife' instead of realizing the true intention of the God who spoke those words through His apostle Paul, we have created generations of women who long to feel beautiful, desired, and fought for.
Is it any wonder why marriages fail more often than succeed? Why sexual promiscuity is rampant and vernal diseases have reached epidemic totals? Why ten year olds are being taught humanistic sexuality in school and kindergarteners are given condoms?
We need to rediscover the process of growing wise, strong, and wild men to come along side their counterparts; nurturing, protective, and desired women. Not simply to reclaim 'our place' in the schemes of culture, but to halt the decay, the slide into the darkness that has come from the confusion and denial of God's design of man and woman.
"Every man needs to know he is powerful," Eldredge states. Made in the image of a God powerfully described by Walter Brueggemann as "wild, dangerous, unfettered, and free."
It is that challenge, to face the danger, that causes the destruction of cultural morals and spiritual guidance that has plagued our society for the last thirty plus years. When man denies that wildness in his heart, that question that needs danger to be answered, society loses one of its two mooring pins and is cast adrift.
And men become the very destruction that society claimed they once were, moving in destructive ways against the order and beauty which they are not meant to live in. They were created to move powerfully in the chaos and walk fearfully into the darkness to protect the beauty and order by reclaiming the darkness and chaos. It is the highest adventure that man can undertake.
Ramsey Clark, former United States attorney general under JFK and LBJ, and a leading peace and civil rights activist said "Don't ever seek to be the greatest. Seek, instead, to do great things. If you aspire to greatness, your greatness will die with you. But if you aspire to do great things, your legacy will live on. And the only way to do this is by being a servant. Lead by serving and you will do great things."
" In the way to eternal happiness, we must expect to be assaulted and sifted by Satan. If he cannot destroy, he will try to disgrace or distress us. Nothing more certainly forebodes a fall, in a professed follower of Christ, than self-confidence, with disregard to warnings, and contempt of danger," Matthew Henry wrote in his commentary on the following verse, "Unless we watch and pray always, we may be drawn in the course of the day into those sins which we were in the morning most resolved against. If believers were left to themselves, they would fall; but they are kept by the power of God, and the prayer of Christ."
"And when the Philistines heard that David was anointed king over all Israel, all the Philistines went up to seek David. And David heard of it, and went out against them. And David enquired of God, saying, Shall I go up against the Philistines? and wilt thou deliver them into mine hand? And the LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand." 1 Chron. 14:8, 10 (KJV)
Therein lays the adventure, the purpose and the proper movement in fear with power that are characteristic of the real, necessary, and recoverable masculinity.
Every man questions the feelings, desires, and drive within him that from birth seems to drive him counterculturally and disruptively against the flow and ebb of life on this planet. He doesn't want to engage at a personal level, although he still hungers within for that very thing. Too often men wrap themselves up in pursuits...sports, hunting, fishing, extreme adventures, to make up for this need that burns inside them to matter, to challenge the world and succeed. Many times, such pursuits either break the man physically, and seem to leave him emptier than before.
Men are told that they cannot lead as the Bible says, because that is sexist and degrading, as the 'requirement' of women to 'submit' to the authority of their husbands has been misaligned and misused. Too many men deny the desire to lead, to defend, to fight the battle because they are told that such is not the mark of a man.
They deny the manner in which they were born, outside the garden in chaos and destruction, and the purpose to which they were given, the defense and growth of the beauty and order within the Garden.
As a result, men fail to grow up, spiritually and mentally.
But, within the community of Christ and worldwide secularly, there is an awakening of this discord among men.
Last night was the first meeting of the Men's bible study group, which met at the campus (a converted school building) of The River, member of a group of three churches that are led by Pastor Jim Combs, jr., and my first introduction to a group of men led by Dan Baxter and Steve Forney. Rather than just study the Bible, the decision was made to study Wild At Heart; discovering the secret of a Man's soul by John Eldredge of the Ransomed Heart Ministries.
In this book, Eldredge takes the reader through the journey of recovering the masculine hearts of men, as designed and perfected in the image of a passionate God, who were meant to bring strength and wildness to the world. Other books by Eldredge on the topic of discovering the heart of God include Epic, Waking the Dead, The Journey of Desire, Captivating, and The Sacred Romance, all of which I'd highly recommend.
Eldredge is a step deeper in the pursuit of masculinity than Pastor Robert Lewis, founder of The Men's Fraternity program. Eldredge uses the same milestones under different names as Lewis, but seems to take the passion level a bit deeper. As with Lewis' program, it is a great way to entice wavering men into the pursuit of God's intent for our strength and wildness that seems to have been DNA'd from birth. As with Lewis' program, Eldredge's ministry can be used by those women who desire to know what makes their husbands and sons tick, and what the intent of God was when He created them. This is helpful for those women who wish to help their men pursuit their God-ordained purpose.
I have read Eldredge's books, gone through the first year of Robert Lewis' Men's Fraternity and read his book Raising a Modern Day Knight. I would recommend these valuable resources to anyone seeking to right the unchecked wounding of generations of men and bring about a movement against the downward tide of society that has corrupted God's design for centuries.
The journey, of course, doesn't stop there (as those of you who know me know). Matt Lobel's ministry that challenges men into relational living as godly men pursuing God is another step in the journey. His Out of the Wild website, an online fellowship of men from all over, has been a staple of support, counsel, and wisdom for me in the two years I've belonged. It's at www.outofthewild.ning.com.
Scott Engelman, Director of Awakened Hearts, takes men on a deeper quest still. Men Mentoring Men (M3) is a ministry that perfectly blends God's original intent of men, how the deviation from that has caused wounds to permeate the generations since Adam, and carries men through the journey to identify, heal, and correct the gaping wounds of a man's soul. Through such events as Men in the Woods and Rekindling the Heart, Scott and founder of Awakened Hearts Mark Jackson reconnect men with their silent and deadened hearts to reawaken what has lied dormant for far too long. Then they teach men and their wives how to recreate the marriage bond that often times lies weakened and potentially broken because of the wounding of men.
While Pastor Lewis speaks of "shaping the heart of men", Eldredge speaks to 'giving permission' for men to be what they were intended to be----beloved sons made in the image of God. Speaking to the deeper understanding of why men desire adventures, battles, and saving a beauty. He answers why women are unhappy with the men that society has created, who long to be that damsel who has the heart of the Knight, the protection of the Warrior, and the passion of the King.
Eldredge offers Wild At Heart as "a safari of the heart to recover a life of freedom, passion, and adventure."
"The core of a man's heart is undomesticated" Eldredge states in his first chapter, pointing to the 'natural' desire of a man to explore, to seek out new directions, and adventures told over and over in the life stories of men. This is in quest of his heart, to find those answers to "Who am I?", "What am I made of?" and "What am I destined for?"
To answer the question left in doubt by the silence of Adam, "Do I have what it takes?"
Eldredge points out, most men have found themselves not "sensitive enough, safe, manageable, and 'in touch' with their feminine side" and now are being told by the very culture that declared those things to be most desired in men that they aren't 'being men.' Such mettling in God's design by humanity has created a society in chaos, with a gender confusion that has altered the foundation of men and women alike. Men, who were told to be 'nice', have developed a phobia regarding masculinity; keeping promises, talking to their wives, raising their children, and being spiritual leaders. As Eldredge recounts the testimony of a fifty year old man in church, "I've pretty much tried for the last twenty years to be a good man as the church defines it.....dutiful and separated from my heart."
Eldredge uses Robert Bly's lamentation of this destruction and corruption of manhood in Bly's Iron John, "Some women want a passive man if they want a man at all, the church wants a tamed man---they are called priests, the university wants a domesticated man----they are called tenure-track people, the corporation wants a......sanitized, hairless, shallow man."
And we wonder why children are bringing guns to school, confused about their gender, and why a host of sexual deviations such as homosexuality, pornography, and child abuse run rampant in our culture today. Be careful of the monster you create, for as Frankenstein discovered, it will turn on you. This doesn't dismiss men's responsibilities nor places the burden solely upon the feminist movement; rather it is an understanding of 'where all the good men' have gone, forced out by a humanistic decision of what true sexuality in a man and a woman are.
Women have become jaded, lost, and torn too as their needs have been suborned by the same culture who declared that women had to be tough, efficient, and independent----never to subject themselves willingly to the 'leadership and authority' of a man. In making a human decision of the 'submission of a wife' instead of realizing the true intention of the God who spoke those words through His apostle Paul, we have created generations of women who long to feel beautiful, desired, and fought for.
Is it any wonder why marriages fail more often than succeed? Why sexual promiscuity is rampant and vernal diseases have reached epidemic totals? Why ten year olds are being taught humanistic sexuality in school and kindergarteners are given condoms?
We need to rediscover the process of growing wise, strong, and wild men to come along side their counterparts; nurturing, protective, and desired women. Not simply to reclaim 'our place' in the schemes of culture, but to halt the decay, the slide into the darkness that has come from the confusion and denial of God's design of man and woman.
"Every man needs to know he is powerful," Eldredge states. Made in the image of a God powerfully described by Walter Brueggemann as "wild, dangerous, unfettered, and free."
It is that challenge, to face the danger, that causes the destruction of cultural morals and spiritual guidance that has plagued our society for the last thirty plus years. When man denies that wildness in his heart, that question that needs danger to be answered, society loses one of its two mooring pins and is cast adrift.
And men become the very destruction that society claimed they once were, moving in destructive ways against the order and beauty which they are not meant to live in. They were created to move powerfully in the chaos and walk fearfully into the darkness to protect the beauty and order by reclaiming the darkness and chaos. It is the highest adventure that man can undertake.
Ramsey Clark, former United States attorney general under JFK and LBJ, and a leading peace and civil rights activist said "Don't ever seek to be the greatest. Seek, instead, to do great things. If you aspire to greatness, your greatness will die with you. But if you aspire to do great things, your legacy will live on. And the only way to do this is by being a servant. Lead by serving and you will do great things."
" In the way to eternal happiness, we must expect to be assaulted and sifted by Satan. If he cannot destroy, he will try to disgrace or distress us. Nothing more certainly forebodes a fall, in a professed follower of Christ, than self-confidence, with disregard to warnings, and contempt of danger," Matthew Henry wrote in his commentary on the following verse, "Unless we watch and pray always, we may be drawn in the course of the day into those sins which we were in the morning most resolved against. If believers were left to themselves, they would fall; but they are kept by the power of God, and the prayer of Christ."
"And when the Philistines heard that David was anointed king over all Israel, all the Philistines went up to seek David. And David heard of it, and went out against them. And David enquired of God, saying, Shall I go up against the Philistines? and wilt thou deliver them into mine hand? And the LORD said unto him, Go up; for I will deliver them into thine hand." 1 Chron. 14:8, 10 (KJV)
Therein lays the adventure, the purpose and the proper movement in fear with power that are characteristic of the real, necessary, and recoverable masculinity.
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