The weapon of the testimony....

“Then all nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty." Malachi 3:12

They say that the greatest tool that God has placed in our hands for the sake of the mission is not doctrinal memorization, not weekly or even twice-weekly Church fellowship, nor even an effective argument. They say it is our testimony, that story that comprises our life and is composed of everything we've experienced and everything we have learned. The greatest of these powerful weapons in the armory of the Army of the Lord are not spoken, rattling off the specifications and expectations like some Special Forces expert but in the simplest of expressions....living it. Being a living testimony. Being able to silently point into the recesses of your heart and show the Holy Spirit there.

When you are exposed to the undeniable testimony of a true child of God, it may never look pretty. Trials, tribulation and suffering crop up into everyone's life; successes seem as illusionary as the 'American dream', and the struggles that they still face seem so simple in your eyes but so harsh and unending in their's. They fall, get up, fall and get up in a never-ending cycle.

But if you listen, you see a strength that defies the depressing cycle of failure. If you watch the evolution of the story, you see life exists (however ugly, however plain) in places where it shouldn't exist --- where they shouldn't even be alive standing before you, because in that darkness they speak of you know you would've fallen and become a cherished memory in the hearts of loved ones.

Just because you can see it doesn't mean that they can. They have walked through the valley of the Shadow of Death and fear no evil, because it is their companion and intimate lover. They know that God doesn't give them anything that they cannot handle, but look less to what they have gained through victory in Christ and more at the simple, continual, and (to them) epic failures that cascade like an never-ending stream in their lives.

The exposure of sunlight upon the broken depravity of their humanity is endured, they are restless and unfocused and consider themselves totally unworthy, totally a failure in the journey towards home. They long for the maturity that they see in others, even as those others express amazement at the maturity in them. The walk in the valley has left its mark, even as the heart beats with a hope that defies the mind's logic of its hopelessness.

Their testimony is the most valuable, however, because it isn't contrived or rehearsed. It changes with the fluidity of the ocean tides, meeting the unspoken answers of the seeker, the unsaved, and the denier that come into their sphere of life and hear their profession of faith; strained, tried and simplistic.

Undeniable.

Speaking from experience, writing my journey as a testimony written by the words of my broken, depraved and burdened heart, isn't set forth upon the ethereal pages of the Internet as a condemnation of what a 'true' Christian is but a profession of the utter foolishness of alteration, the foolhardy method of addition, and the empty application of biblical formulas to life and the professed life gained through the 'conversion' of our nature from old to new through the allegiance and oath of loyalty to Christ Jesus, Messiah and King, Lord and Savior. Faith is more than a matter of profession and belief is not as complete as one would claim.

As S. Michael Craven said in his book, Uncompromised Faith, being a follower is more than just Sunday services and Christianized language, theories, and expressions. It is that living in a broken world, broken, and finding yourself more and more distant in the logicality of love from God than you can ever hope to cover in the briefness of life. But desiring to try and making desire action, despite the assurance of failure and incomplete, unfulfilled attainment. It is, in the absence of all reasoning and all reasonable thought, stepping into the throne room of the King with the assurance of death for the interruption and being extended the scepter of grace, saved from the punishment that is the due.

Time and time again.

And it never gets any easier. It never gets any simpler.

For the first time since I was invited to be a part of the dynamic and powerful group of realistic men who God called through the voice of Scott Engelmann to join together as a band of brothers to be men of God's heart and mission workers for the field, I didn't go to the meeting. Reasonable excuse was existent and easily offered. But the reason I hadn't missed a meeting before was purely survival instinct....if I didn't go, I knew I'd probably never go back.

My belief in my worth was broken a long time ago upon the altar of this world and as I have journeyed through the destruction of the hillside and traveled down into the darkest valleys, I have gone...as a ghost.....substance an illusionary wisp faintly discoloring the landscape, belief the perception of movement out of the corner of the eye, and faith more of a dripping faucet than a flowing stream. Realistically feeling I am far beyond the saving and changing grace of God, and hoping as I crawl before the throne, eyes downcast and limbs heavy, beyond the hope of that hope that He is the gracious, merciful, and righteous God that I have understood in the bible and seen in the faces of the truly redeemed; those giants who walk among us convinced they are simple Lilliputs instead of Gilligans.

Whereas the events of my life would surely be nothing but a fly smashed into the broad windshield of their lives, I find these things of tidal and epic failure. I don't recall off-hand who said it, but one of the greatest truths I have found in the lessons of this life is, "Preach the Gospel, use words if you have to." We shouldn't have to, its existence and proof a living breathing hope in the face of hopelessness, belief in the logic of human righteousness of unbelief, and the faith to face Goliath with a sling and stone. Living under the mighty hand of God may not feel like a safe place, or even a place that others will be drawn to in the hail of worldly gratification, but it is the only place where hope for the hopeless cannot be denied even by their own lips.

Then the glory of God is revealed to those brought to its revealing. And the illusionary safety of human understanding of godly wisdom falls away to reveal the hand that will never leave its place on your shoulders…..even as your humanity crumbles under the weight of realized corruption and absolute depravity.
I don't know if the door opens into another desert or wilderness expanse or if, as the sustaining hope that exists testifies to, that I will find success in the surrender and victory in the defeat.

The greatest thing I fear is the greatest thing I face and the denial of the experience of relationship's painful experiences and wounding endings is hard to deny. Yet, in the purpose of the calling God brings me to face that fear, without assurance of victory and the absence of sustained peace.

I am an ordained chaplain now, the church illusion of safety in numbers (large numbers) under a corporate business mentality of 'saving souls' no longer sustainable in my eyes, and the sight of those I cannot deny their discernment and wisdom a view of a leader and minister to the broken…..He calls me to serve Him.
I am afraid.

I know the darkness too well to disregard its danger. But I can hear the voices crying out and I cannot stay….. I am afraid, of staying and of going……
Lord help my unbelief…

Uncompromised faith in a compromising world.

"But dedicate your lives to Christ as Lord. Always be ready to defend your confidence in God when anyone ask you to explain it. However, make your defense with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15 (GW)



"Research reveals that Christianity in America has become more diluted, more distorted, and less Christ-like with each subsequent generation," Josh McDowell writes. "So severe is the crisis that I dared to proclaim that if something serious does not occur in the life of the church, we may be witnessing the last Christian generation in America."

"Historically, Christians have been formidable in projecting this new and true interpretation of reality [the transformational shift in our conceptions of reality, self, human nature, knowledge, morality, and ethics] into every aspect of American life and culture," S. Michael Craven offers, "not by political coercion but through intellectual influence, missional activity, and compassionate outreach." But, in today's culture, where a candidate can be elected President through 'inclusive and universal' change even by those who claim Christianity as their religion, such formability has become systematically reduced to "religious ritual and personal piety."

As the world has become increasingly intolerant of its views and its mission, the Church has withdrawn into its beautiful buildings and subcultured language, symbols, and literature. It has strayed away from the very calling of its mission and ill-equipped those daring enough to venture into the culture of deprived and sinful world. It has become a victim of the culture, influences, and worldview of a society it was supposed to save.

S Michael Craven, president of The Center for Christ and Culture, is considered to be one of the leading cultural apologists in the modern world and offers those daring enough to engage in discussion a thought-provoking and challenging look at the crisis facing the movement started by Jesus Christ and the ineffectiveness of modern Christianity in meeting that commission given in his book Uncompromised Faith: Overcoming Our Culturalized Christianity.

"Empty-headed evangelism," Craven believes, is the "dumbed down Christian theology" that has created a generation of Christians who are afraid to engage in the hard questions that society uses to silence the witness of the followers of Christ, prevents effective discipleship, and has created a world where the immoral views of humanism are dominant. He calls for a renewed, biblical form of engagement in the battle for the lost souls of the world, in an effective and culturally changing mindset.

Missional apologetics.

A way of engaging the culture in a way that historical apologetics (classical, presuppositional, and evidential) has failed to do. In "addressing the ideas or ideological influences common to a given culture," and recognizing "social issues and their underlying ideas or worldviews," missional Christianity becomes more of a "rescue force that is determined to stay until all are rescued" instead of a hit-and-run commando force that is only here to harass the enemy forces.

"The missional Christian presses into the world wherever he or she is," Craven defines this 'new', highly trained warrior. "and pushes back the darkness with the love of Christ."

In Uncompromised Faith: Overcoming Our Culturalized Christianity, Craven not only challenges us to learn the way to effectively engage the culture that we have unknowingly allowed to affect our faith but he offers thought-provoking arguments on how those influences have brought a once effective and life changing reality to the former shadow of itself.

Post-enlightenment, postmodernism, and the persuasive consumerism of American culture have allowed "social acceptance of false moral perspectives" as culturized Christians have become increasingly unable to "articulate meaningful, rational, and compelling reasons" for the Gospel message of morality. Only 4% of American Christians use a biblical worldview as a basis for decisions, and even that worldview is more of an espousing of Christian tenets rather than a framework for 'analyzing, evaluating, and guiding' one's lifestyle.

Craven describes this necessity of having a "Christian philosophy of life….where men understand all of reality and its nature in connection with the revealed Word of God" for the effective engagement of a culture and society that has become increasingly anti-Christian. In looking at the effects of modernity and modernism, postmodernism, and consumerism upon our faith, Craven calls us to 'represent the Kingdom of God' through "distinct community…and serving the world through compassion and mercy in meeting humanity's needs and being just."

Reading his book, we are taken upon a journey of understanding the cultural influences and how they have changed the biblical context of God's grace, mercy and glory. We are offered a restoring and effective way to rejoin that unique and achievable goal of being part of God's redemptive work in a world gone crazy by understanding how the morality of our faith has been suborned by secularism. Craven looks at the cultural influences of our modern times, the social issues that plaster the landscape of American society, and calls us to engage that culture through 'demonstrating the reign of God within…authenticating community" with understanding and love.

"If we want to overcome our Culturalized Christianity to worship and serve the King of Kings; we must recover this broader understanding of our mission as Christians in the world. We must learn to properly analyze and intelligently engage the culture, and we must interact with each other and the world in a spirit of grace, love and charity."

Far from emergent, universal, and New Age spirituality movements that disengage God from life, Craven offers a means of understanding and being effective as believers in the cultural influences of our age with the effectiveness of Paul, the compassion of Peter, and the ultimate reality-changing and life-giving impact of Jesus Christ.

I would recommend picking up a copy of Craven's book and challenge you to develop an 'uncompromised faith.'