Defeat.....

"My life dissolves and weeps itself away for heaviness; raise me up and strengthen me according to [the promises of] Your word." Psalm 119:28 (AMP)

Sometimes you win in your fights against the giants that are piling upon your weary and battle fatigued heart, sometimes they gain the upper hand and you stumble from the battlefield sick with sorrow and pain. Some would point to a 'lack' of faith that has caused your downfall against the giants of your sinful and human heart, others would say God is testing, training, and molding, and yet others would shake their head, look at you, and say they want nothing to do with a God that will allow something like that to happen to one of His "children."

We deceive ourselves sometimes in the battles we face in this world and this life. Yesterday, with the Primary over in Michigan, several of my friends were sitting at a table at my old Church and I sat with them for a few. It is amazing the scope of range that comes out when Christians discuss politics. I voted for Huckabee, not because he is the most stellar candidate….but he is the most aligned with what I consider important. Several of my friends voted for Romney, because he has hit the political hot button here that is called the ECONOMY. But that wasn't what disturbed me, it was the comment that was made by someone else that they thought I didn't hear. "The country has survived hundreds of years, it will survive this."

My heart is too heavy to speak of the political mess that pervades this country, but that attitude that most Americans have—that pervades even the most stalwart of hearts in the Christian community---that has created this mess in the first place. "I have to do nothing. It will all blow over because THAT is what is has always done."

And this attitude seeps into our personal life and our faith….that allowance of "not that big of a deal" when we engage in lustful looks at the other sex, that turns into a divorce on the grounds of adultery. That simple "friendship" turns into an affair that destroys the lives of at least one family, if not two.

We talk of the redeeming love of God, pointing to the promises of health and wealth to ease our guilt of a world gone chaotic, and forget why it has gotten that way in the first place. We look to the promise of only goodness coming from the plans of the Father and forget the precepts and commandments that are to guide us. We look to taking care of our neighbor's physical needs and call that "godliness" and then forget that the TRUTH is what is absolutely what Godliness is.

Sometimes we stand against the demons of the world and lose. Sometimes we stand in full armor and wind up on our butt, stripped of dignity and grace. Sometimes we wonder what the heck we are fighting for in the first place when it would be so easy just to stop trying and go with the flow for once.

Sometimes it isn't how we fight our battles and whether we win or lose. Sometimes our hearts become overburdened and we get distracted by the heaviness of sorrow, missing the block on the incoming blade of our giant. Sometimes the fight is forcibly beaten from us.

It isn't how we fight our battles, win or lose. It is rather what we do when faced with that defeat, that loss, that overwhelming sorrow.

Do we admit to it, claim it all----the sorrow, the loss, the mistake, and then look to the helping hand of the Father who truly loves us?

Or do we just cry UNCLE and surrender?

My heart is heavy with sorrow and my bones ache from the fight. I do not want to keep on, because sorrow and sadness will be my companions. But, even as my giant towers over me in seeming victory……..

I will look to God and cry out for His strength.

To understand,
To mourn,
and to gain wisdom from the fall.