Some jokes.......

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you. "Do you really want to get rid of Hillary Rodham Clinton?

6. Firmly Click "Yes."

7. Feel better.


WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY

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'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal
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'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' - U.S. Air Force Manual
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'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.' - General MacArthur
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'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.' - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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'Tracers work both ways.' - U.S. Army Ordnance
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'Five second fuses only last three seconds.' - Infantry Journal
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'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
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'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' - Unknown Marine Recruit
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'If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.' - USAF Ammo Troop
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'Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.' - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
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'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.' - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
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'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
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'Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.'
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'Never trade luck for skill.'
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'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
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'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.' - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.' - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB , AZ, 1970
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'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives,the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks 'What happened?'. The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got
here myself!' - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)