Thursday, September 4

The journey so far...

'I once was blind, but now I see.'

One of the greatest songs I have ever heard was properly reverenced and 'updated' by an contemporary artist, who joined it with another great 'classic' in the young mind of this person, to honor a man of God in the movie "Amazing Grace". The song still brings me to tears, whether the older version or the two contemporary updates that I have heard by Chris Tomlin and Casting Crowns. It is a lifelong song that will always bring me back to the moment of my greatest personal loss and my greatest personal gain.

My salvation.

It has been a long journey, getting from there to here. In answering a simple call, a simple plea. It was much much quicker going the other way....avenues wide as a city mile and darkness darker than a subway tunnel....utter absence of any light. It was much easier, indeed, to destroy a promised life than it was to give it away. In a way, my father was a bit prophetic when he said I would be unfit to any other job but that of a garbage collector and only then....if they felt sorry for me. The easy part was to fulfill that statement.....the hardest was realizing it was said in pain, through a hurtful experience I doubt he even realized, and that it was not true.

But I answered the call 'home' four and a half years ago now. Much of what I thought would change was retained and repurposed....much of what I thought I would gain was taken, either a victim of the brutal unforgiving culture or a casuality upon the battlefields. I am now not the man I was, haven't come close to the man I thought I was becoming and am surprised at the man that I am told I am purposed to be................

In that journey, that will continue as long as my steps walk upon this world, began one February 14th with a whisper of "Come home" and has been fraught with suffering, redeeming, and loss as I have realized that I cannot 'hold' on to anything in this world, am far too imperfect to demand perfection in others, and have only one redeeming 'quality' that will always be with me......I am a Beloved son, loved beyond any reasonable measure and called to voice the triumph of my Father in kinship with my Savior and King, Jesus Christ.

It didn't end with a call to ministry which is yet to be fulfilled, not because of desire...but because it is not yet God's time to send me.

It seems so long ago that I finally accepted a brother's invitation to attend 'another men's meeting', stepping outside the boundaries of 'comfortable' Christianity to pursue this awakening of desire to know what and how to be a Godly man.....and to this day I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for not only my brother-in-Christ's persistense of inviting me to the meeting but also the friendship and brotherhood which I feel for him beyond any friendship I have truly known....mostly because I was afraid of being who I was. I thought then that this was a resting spot in my journey.....surely God would let me bask in the comfortable meetings of the larger group of men.....forming friendships of such proportions as the one I've mentioned, gaining good and solid meat in which to ponder over as one savors a juicy steak, and becoming a man in pursuit of God......It wasn't the first time I would be wrong.

My brother invited me to take another 'step' in this newly discovered pathway in the greater journey yet to be written by human hands but known by the Father to whom all eventually will come; either through the grace and mercy of His only Begotten Son Jesus or through their own life-ending and torment-filled judgment that God will pass upon those who reject His Son. But all will stand before Him to be judged. I went to the 'story weekend' with this brother and a group of other men....to tell a simple story, I figured. A tale to delight, intrigue, and horrify those gathered. Another lesson I've learned since I started this journey four years ago, God (in His wisdom) has often other plans than my own intentions that always work out for His glory, His ultimate plan.

Another misstated truth from my father's life that he passed down to me was proven wrong in the face-to-face gathering on that weekend a few years ago in the 'wilds' of Canada upon the shores of Lake Michigan; that real men don't cry. I opened my mouth to speak the well-rehearsed story and broke down into deep, sorrowful sobs. And from that broken heart, the true story of a man was told....and a turn in the path occurred through the blurred vision. A turning to that which I sought; Godly manhood.

Yet another step in the journey happened several months later, as my soon-to-be ex-wife and I went to the shores on the western side of Michigan to sit down with other couples in a marriage retreat. Most of the couples were younger, both in age and in their marriages, but all were there to learn how to have a Godly-inspired marriage between a Godly man and a Godly woman. When the leader of the retreat asked me if my wife and I would participate in the group exercise...again, I figured the best place to open up and was again surprised by God in the revision. Opening deep areas to my wife, I exposed wounds of my own past.....another part of the story told, and another shift in direction of the path this journey is taking me upon......

An invitation to a group developing leaders for men was surprising and inspiring.

But then things happened that were unexpected and unplanned. As I worked (and am still working towards) being a Godly-husband, man, and father.....decisions were made by those involved that would forever alter the course and the companionship for the future. And exposed yet more things that I'd rather would have stayed hidden in the depths of my soul but am understanding was simply the Father's nudge to greater relationship with Him, preparing me better for that call yet unfulfilled but never diminished. Some newly acquired friends developed misinformed theologies and paths were separated. Attempts to 'right' the ship of family were systematically thwarted and destroyed. Upon the brink of utter failure, I wondered where God was.

Another lesson learned; grasping all that you hold dear is simply another way to lose them. Unlearned throughout all the years of my life spent doing just that. Trying to hold on to what I had been 'lucky' enough to hoard.

Waking up a few Fridays ago, facing yet another day in which failure was eminent and depression was worn like a suit of clothes, I stayed still.....and looked to my Father for answers. And I then made my own prophetic utterance......."God, show me that You truly love me. I am helpless in this sea, battered by the winds of trials, and going down. For the sake of Your son...me...show me Your strength, mercy, and love."

I've said before; Be careful what you ask for..........

That Friday call from a friend of a friend of a friend and the gifting of a blessing much needed.....in a major way...that Saturday speaking with another unknown who decided in my favor.....that Sunday night speaking with yet another unknown who decided to give me grace......

One would believe that such things were enough to show me that God loves me, inspires me, and has His plan in place and on track for me.......

But, God (in His wisdom) was not yet done flexing His muscles........

A dear friend called to say that someone in another state wanted to bless me and though I've yet to receive the blessing being sent, I know it will be what God impressed upon them to do to honor Him. And a brother again stepped out in faith and ensured the closing deal on God's answer to my prayerful cry...........

The mountains in front of me are bigger than the ones I've already traversed. The times that I thought I was out of the wilderness and on carpeted forest ground were proven illusions, temporary and mistaken. I dare not rest, at least in terms of the miles yet to be travelled in this life....but I have found that which God wanted me to realize......

I rest in His love and His provision....and go forth under His watchful eyes to a future yet unwritten and places yet to go.......without a backpack, without a tent, and without a care….because God loves me, has made provision for me, and will not have His will and His plan thwarted by anyone…including myself.

I just wanted to try and articulate to those prayer warriors who have stood in this journey with me; showering blessings upon me by lifting my prayer requests up to the Father for His attention and disposition. There is no greater love that I have felt between my brothers and sisters in Christ than this...........

To those who have given a blessing of a financial nature, timely and just perfect for the need.....I wish I could articulate the humility you showed me and the grace by which you provided the lesson you were meant to give.

To those who continue to stand upon bended knee and bowed heads.....continue to lift to God the needs of those who in need of all things; salvation, grace, love, mercy, and peace.

A fork in the road, I have arrived at. There are many paths; some well groomed, some widely expassive, and some beautifully appointed. I have a choice to journey any of these.....but I think I'll chose that path which seems not much more than a hole in the trees....

Care to join me?

May the blessings of God fall like rain upon your life, filling your cup to overflowing.

Till the journey's end, when we shall all gather under the Throne of Glory and tell the story of our wonderful trip to our Father's house….

Thank you my brothers and sisters...

James Hutson and family.

Returning to foundations

"If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?" Psalm 11:3 NASB

It seems to me that this Presidential election is not simply about religious upbringing and its display in the lives of the Presidential candidates of the Democratic and Republican parties, or even the 'ineffective' Third-party candidates. It is not about the rendering of the moral fabric of this once great nation which is so caught up in gazing into the proverbial mirror at its reflection, thinking how 'tolerant' and 'inclusive' it is.

This election is about foundations; the foundations that once made this grand experiment so necessary and risky. The foundations that have existed in each great nation in the world….not in terms of its size, might, or gross national product…but in terms of sustainability. Like any structure, once the foundation is shaken and broken, its demise is a foregone conclusion. The only question left is when.

There is much going on in the evangelical circles that resemble a bunch of chickens running around with their heads cut off. The battle cry of the faithful this election isn't, "May God be glorified in our electing our leaders," but rather a frighten squawk of "We must defeat Obama" and elect McCain for President….it is the only solution we have to the looming despair of an extreme liberal obtaining the highest office in the land.

I agree that a United States of America under the leadership of Barack Obama and those he would bring into positions of high political and societal strength would only cause this nation's descend into the darkness of moral and spiritual depravity to escalate to supersonic speed. The annilation of the next generation, on a scale greater than any genocide the world has known would be complete, the destruction of the family –a foundation of critical need within the American society, would be complete and forthcoming, and the 'end times' spoken of in the Bible would begin (if they haven't already).

I also think that the complete liberation of society from the moral foundations Christ showed us while He walked this earth, and that His (and our) Heavenly Father speaks of in His critical writings collectively known as the Bible, would continue under McCain's leadership of this nation…..albeit maybe at a slower pace, but it would continue.

None of the Third-party candidates, I think, would fare any better.

We, the American People, have made our beds…..and it looks like our death beds…..so it is fitting that we would have to lie in them this election year. The next four years, regardless of which candidate makes the office of The President of the United States, is going to be a sad, continued progression away from God. Away from our foundations. How quick or slow that progress is….that is the only factor it seems we can decide.

We, the People…..

We don't want to look at the past because it would expose the dangerous cliffs that we traverse in this present and the boulders, awaiting our passage on the trail ahead, ready to fall upon us all. We don't want to acknowledge that our country was founded on principles set forth in the Bible, the sacred text of Chrisitianity. We won't articulate that the family; of one man, one woman, and a host of little ones, is the very glue that made our society work. We don't want to admit that we've become lax in our pursuit of the grand experiment.

We don't want to admit that everything wrong with society is our fault and WE, THE PEOPLE, allowed it to happen....by allowing politicians to claim the House of Representatives; designed to have common citizens fill its ranks instead of rich and powerful citizens to claim its halls. We've allowed the Judiciary Branch of government make the laws, the Legislative Branch to interpet them, and the Executive Branch to be filled with ineffective and unfaithful men. And each filled with those who have their own agenda and their own desires, totally counterpoint in most cases, to the WILL of the People. A few 'people' elect our Presidents....the Electoral College, which has transformed from its purpose to be an orgasim all its own; too powerful in its enormancy that it no longer serves its purpose.

A government that was designed to serve the people it governs and who is ruled by the people has become an entity that governs itself and rules the people.

The grand experiment appears to have failed, because of our lack of accountability to the dream.

Under Obama, we will become a part of the 'greater' world nation......where the term 'American' is spoken of in whispered fear and thought of as nothing more than a place we geographically reside in. The ownership of the dream will reside in countries where such freedom and patriotism is frowned upon and legistlatively destroyed.

Under McCain, it would be more subtle but no less the same process. Maybe it wouldn't be complete under McCain's term, but it would continue and ultimately be fulfilled in new President's term.

With our blessings.

We continue to allow the errosion of our foundations to weaken our great nation and ultimately the structure that our Forefathers, with the blood of patriots spilled, created will fall upon the weak foundation that can no longer support it.

If we are to reclaim this great nation's dream and be the people of freedom and tolerance that our forefathers spoke into creation, we have to shore up the weakened structure and renew the tenstile strength again.

What foundations?

Servanthood. Family. God.

The main foundation, upon which all foundations are built is God. With 83% of Americans claiming a belief in Christianity.....we should be more in step with His commandments instead of our own in our government and the laws written; as is reflected in our nation's forming.

The main support foundation is based upon God's own unchanging love for us, as reflected in 1 John 4:19: "We love him, because he first loved us"

"Our faith needs to be founded firmly upon this fact that all of God's dealings with us are based upon His love." Zac Poonen, in his sermon entitled 'Love - The Basis of All God's Dealings with Man, states. "The words "He will rest in his love " in Zephaniah 3:17, have been translated: "He is silently planning for you in love."

A love that knows all; our failings, our weaknesses, and our strengths. A love that can carry wrath and a love that can redeem. If only we realize that there is nothing that does not come from God's hands, the worry and fears that we have regarding even the presidential candidates would disappear. Even the struggles that we face are for a purpose; even the ones that are the harshest.

A love that is focused on the end result.........

"If you are mired in quicksand, stuck in confusion and anxiety, then ask the Holy Spirit to rescue you and to set you free so you can minister in truth and love to those God sends you." Carolyn Baker, AllAboutGod.com, wrote in a devotional, "One caution: always validate everything in God’s Word and be sure to spend time in prayer. We often don’t… understand because we don’t ask for it."

On this historic occasion, as we elect to the highest office in the land let us keep in mind that God calls us to live our faith exposed, open to view to all that are around us. Let's not let the light be dimmed because we are afraid, and elect into office a man who isn't the best candidate.

Let us hold each to the standards God Himself has set and vote for the one that reflects the morals and values that we ourselves hold dear.

"There is only one Way of salvation—by the grace of God through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, and one hope of our calling—that we might stand now and forever in the glory of God to the praise of His holy and exalted name." T.M. Moore, editor of Worldview Church and dean of the BreakPoint Centurions writes in his article 'The Worldview Church' "Two thousand years after The Way burst onto the historical scene, its legacy has become a thousands-lane highway where people of varying communions putter along or race ahead, sometimes weaving in and out of traffic, but all the while looking out for their own safety above all."

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Proverbs 1:7

Such is the standard we should have for our leaders WE, THE PEOPLE, elect.