Wednesday, May 12

Hutson’s last stand

"Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves as slaves for obedience, you are slaves to whom you obey, whether of sin to death, or obedience to righteousness?" Romans 6:16 LITV

IT has been a difficult month so far and doesn't seem to be looking like it is going to change status anytime soon. Disappointments abounded, unpleasant surprises peppered me like blown sand and the sheer impossibility of doing what I am doing hampered each and every step I took. Like a 'last stand.' It made me think of Custer's last stand; where misinformation and poor coordination led to the biggest defeat of US Army forces in the Indian Wars. As I researched Custer's last battle, I realized that 'last stand' is actually misapplied here and that Custer, while courageous and foolish at the same time, was a victim of procedural thinking. So, Custer's Last Stand isn't the right thought to apply to my situation….or is it?

"Last stand" is usually used as a military term to describing the event where troops holding a defensive position in the face of overwhelming odds, taking very heavy casualties to the point where they are numerically overwhelmed or are completely destroyed while also inflicting high casualties on the opponent, or the last pitched battle of a war where the position of the defending force is hopeless but the defending force considers it their duty not to surrender until forced to do so, as in the numerical overwhelming of their forces or inability to bring defensive fire due to lack of ammunition. In Custer's case, it was his miscalculation and wrong information that cause him to be overwhelmed and defeated…..outside the parameters of a last stand, but his defeat was characterized as such by the media of the time. A misnomer that continues today.

There are many famous, and real, last stands in the histories of the world and more often than not, we feel a certain honor towards the brave souls that took part in them. The Battle of Thermopylae, made 'famous' by the movie 300, was the last stand of King Leonidas I of Sparta with 300 Spartans, 700 Thespians, 400 Thebans and a few hundred others defended the rear of the retreating Greek Army against the flanking Persians led by King Xerxes I that allegedly boasted numbers in the millions. Leonidas and his troops were overwhelmed, but the resultant delay proved to be Xerxes defeat. The Papal Swiss Guards, who were reduced down to 189 from defending Vatican City from the 20,000 plus bloodthirsty troops of Emperor Charles V, mounted the steps of St Peter's Basilica to give their Pope, Clement V time to escape. When the Guard was overwhelmed, only 42 wounded remained, but the Pope escaped. The Battle of the Alamo, where the Republic of Texas found its young voice first as a nation and then as a state in the cry "Remember the Alamo," is another case of bravery in the face of utter annihilation. Santa Anna's crack Mexican troops, numbering around 2,000, surged against the old Spanish mission's 182 poorly armed rebels after a 12 day standoff and slaughtered every one of them, with the exception of the women, children and two African American slaves. This rally cry would give birth to a nation within a nation that still beats today. With the current administration in office, the Texans have thought of invoking that 'nation-hood' status once more.

We were born to be fighters, warriors in the eternal and spiritual battle to bring the gospel to the lost and to disciple those who accept the salvation of Jesus Christ so they can fulfill their purposes in Christ's kingdom. We win some, we struggle with others and sometimes we lose those fights. Sometimes, in the darkness of this life, we can do nothing more than circle the wagons, stock our limited ammunition beside us within ready reach and kiss our loved ones (if they are unfortunate enough to be with us) goodbye while there is still time. There comes a moment in the battle where it has permanently swayed against those who stand on one side and retreat is impossible, if it was ever an option considered in the first place. A last stand is made, heads held high and guns cocked…..even when the outcome is not in question. Honor demands its ultimate expression…..


 

In the big battles of this life, we all face that ultimate 'last stand' where all we have done, all we have to offer to the fight and all we have gained in this journey towards home is gathered around us, piled high, with us hunkered behind it……praying desperate prayers to a God that seems absent and looking elsewhere as the enemy gathers his forces against our humble, inferior force. In that moment, where the wind whistles through the gaps in the defenses and howls a mournful wail, we have a choice.


 

We can fight or we can, as C.S. Lewis wrote in The Problem of Pain (posted by a friend on FB), "….. we are, as Newman said, rebels who must lay down our arms." Sometimes, in the absence of hope or the assurance of victory, we only have one thing left to do……the one honorable and merciful thing to do when faced with our last stands against the superior numerical forces of the enemy………………..lay down our arms, and surrender to our God.

Again….

And Again….

And over Again…..

Because when we surrender ourselves to God in the obedience of righteousness, we become that exception to the 'rule' of last stands. Our inferior numbers are overwhelming to the enemy forces arrayed against us. No amount of financial need, physical discomfort, mental anguish or worldly discrimination can stand against the power and authority of God and when we are in obedience to Him, He is within the circle of wagons with us...the enemy is defeated.

Facing your last stand today? If so, throw the enemy a curve ball……lay down your arms and stand tall, surrendering to the God who has defeated death because of His love for you and who wants nothing more than to come to your aid……

It'd be the last thing the enemy would expect or want you to do.

I know…..


 


 

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. --Frank A. Clark


 

Monday, May 3

Ain’t no mountain high enough….

"Don't forget how the LORD your God has led you through the desert for the past forty years. He wanted to find out if you were truly willing to obey him and depend on him, so he made you go hungry. Then he gave you manna, a kind of food that you and your ancestors had never even heard about. The LORD was teaching you that people need more than food to live--they need every word that the LORD has spoken. (Deuteronomy 8:2-3 CEV)"

Today, Moody Theological Seminary in Michigan begins its summer semester and tomorrow is the first of the classes that I had hoped to be taking as a student enrolled in the MDiv program there. Today, I have reached the top of the mountain to once again find a valley spread before me instead of the plateau. I stumble…my heart does a flip-flop and I will sigh in the briefest of moments….searching the Heavens for the answer of why and begin my descent once more…..after all, there are other mountains in the distance.

The possibilities that rely on God's provision are larger now than before, standing on this mountaintop, even as my flesh sorrows at yet again being 'benched' in this battle of life….the horizon lays spread out before me and I can see all the pitfalls, the jungles, the bogs and swamps and the endless possibilities that God has made. The taller the mountain, the deeper the valley….but in the valleys of our lives, as faith is lived under the nourishing sustenance of God's power, is where we shine the brightest for His glory and reflect His provisional love. As we climb the mountains of this journey, our faith is grown and our unsuitability to the purposes to which we have been called worked off……..and as we sit in the companionship of God upon the mountaintop, we want nothing more than to stay there, but we cannot stay. The purpose in climbing the mountain wasn't to stay on the mountaintop, but to be provisioned in faith to go through the valleys that lie beneath us in an endless vista. As Oswald Chambers says, "it is in the valley that we have to live for the glory of God."

When we live in the valley, through the trials and tribulations of the jungles of deceptive temptations and gripping bogs of our failed humanity, the sustained faith that we journey through the struggles with…that undeniable focus….brings the 'invisible' God into the visible; undeniable in the movement of His mighty hand in the lives of those He loves and who love Him. George Muller didn't live his life for the honor and accolades of what his heartfelt passion for orphans, but to show in an undeniable way the movement of God…….and he died with 800 bucks of his own funds……..leaving a ministry worth millions shouting God's provision and glory.

I grow weary of climbing mountains, reaching the summit, and finding not the end of the calling and the beginning of the purposed life in His service; but another valley stretched below me and yet another long path towards the next impossible summit. I'd rather be serving as I travel than working on being service-ready. As I stop momentarily upon this mountaintop, I feel the deep sorrow of a life spent in opposition to Him and the required demolition that has to be done to bring me into a place where I am prepared to serve Him as a pastor.

I wish, as I told Shannon last night as we discussed the valleys ahead of us, that I had envisioned this life before so that I could've prepared for all of it beforehand so that there would be no roadblocks, no deep valleys and no long mountain ranges to travel. From birth to purpose to eternity……a gentle sloping valley and rising mountain; the kind of life that some of the Christians I know have led. For a moment, as I stand on those mountaintops that I have climbed in this journey some six years plus now, my heart begs for such a redo….and my Savior whispers, "How would your life that way serve to glorify ME?" It is why I continue to travel this mountainous terrain, it is the reason why I can honestly say that if my Lord tells me I will always strive to the calling but never know its achievement but in being such a fool I will serve His purpose and bring Him glory…..then a fool I will be. A happy, struggling and poor fool.

Because His truth is better than any achievement in this life; His love greater than any possession to have and the provisions that He gives even as we, as broken and imperfect beings, travel towards the image He created us for, the life He offers to us and the purpose to which His glory beckons us……to be the court jester in His courts is better than being a king in any human one.

Today I begin yet another descent down into the valley of this journey…….and as my feet eat up the ground, carrying me further and further from the summit just achieved, I look with a squinting gaze towards that next mountain, envisioning the plateau of this season of my journey towards home and the beginning of the next fully invested with the equipment training necessary to serve my God and my King in the frontlines of this battle. I can't see it's smooth surface and beautiful vista, but I can see the light of the One who waits for me to join Him there as I journey with the One sent to help me get there.

Who knows? According to His words, His promises and His truth…….He has plans for me, to prosper me and enrich me to bring Him glory as only a son and daughter can bring to their Father. Even as I begin to cast off the disappointments that momentarily freeze me upon that mountaintop and begin the descent….I can feel the hope, the joy and the promises reasserting themselves and empowering my feet.

I adjust the straps of my backpack, wiggle my hat on my head and sigh a deep, longing sigh.

Even in my disappointment, I serve and bring praise to my King, my Lord and my Savior.

Ah, a joyful fool am I.