Wednesday, January 13

Walking with a limp

"And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, "Let me go, for the day has broken." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." And he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." Then he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered." (Genesis 32:24-30 ESV)

"There is a consistent pattern in Scripture of what happens in a life that God wants to use and improve: there is always a call…….there is always fear……..there is always [God's] reassurance…..there is always a [personal] decision [to obey or not]…..and there is always a changed life." John Ortberg writes in the preface of his book If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat. "Those who say yes to God's call don't walk the walk perfectly ----not by a long shot. But because they say yes to God, they learn and grow even from their failures. And they become part of His actions to redeem the world."

One might ask what Jacob and Ortberg's book have in common; other than the obvious fact that both came from a sister-in-Christ who had cleaned out her library (I grabbed four boxes of books) and spoke these words about Jacob to me while I was there…..it isn't as obvious. I had heard of Ortberg's book from a brother-in-Christ who I had discussed my questioning of whether to commit to the ministry we were both involved in as its mission was developing and maturing or to gracefully bow out and follow another path. He had recommended If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat as some material to use for that decision. But I didn't get it or read it until now.

Chip Ingram's book Good to Great in God's Eyes: 10 practices common to Great Christians has become one of those books that have rocked my world. It seems to follow the common theme that God wants me to understand as I think about the mission field and the direction that God has taken my life. Ingram, President and Teaching Pastor of Living on the Edge ministry, points out some obvious flaws in my walk with God and his "big, hairy, audacious Dream"….."If you're thinking, 'Sure, God does that [gives or clarifies during a moment of crisis] with other people, godly people who have it all together and study their Bible all the time. But I've been divorced twice, I'm hooked on…….' You can fill in the rest with your own issues, whatever they are. The point is that even if your issues are as serious as murder, you're not disqualified."

"Remember what God is doing:" Ingram continues, "He wants to accomplish impossible things through improbable people and to impart exceeding grace to undeserving people."

Enter Jacob and his story in the wealth and rich history that makes God's larger story: the redemption and restoration of His people, humanity, to Him. Jacob, as we know, wasn't the best candidate for brother of the year, father of the century or even the bolder title of 'man of faith'….at least in the understanding and measurement of mankind…..but as we look back upon this particular turning point, we see a pivotal moment in the life of Jacob…..the point where he became Israel, father of the twelve tribes of the nation of Israel and the fulfillment of the promise God made to the patriarch of us all, Abraham.

Jacob…. conniving as much as he was spiritual, consumed by moments of extremely strong faith laced with very real fear who is the patriarch of a family in disarray that eventually leads them into a straight path. This man, whose name translates "deceiver" is the physical start of the nation bearing his new name, is very relatable to each of us….a man of weakness and strengths born of his humanity who strives imperfectly for spiritual life. Through his story we see important moments in a journey born of faith and the encompassing power and depth of God's grace. Jacob, who starts life grasping the heel of his brother, Esau, is often stylized as the thinker while Esau is the doer….a manly man who simply dominates the second simply by his nature. Even in their father's eye, Esau was the more desired and favored of the two. Maybe that is part of why Jacob connived to steal the birthright…..this desire to be more than just second best.

Whatever the reasons; selfish or spiritually driven, the lessons of this deceiver turned nation-builder is too clear in the path that Ortberg discusses, it flows and ebbs in the tidal wave of Jacob's life. As Greg Laurie writes in his book Wrestling with God: Prayer that never gives up, "To a great extent, it wasn't so much that Jacob was wrestling to get something from God; rather, God was wrestling to get something from Jacob." The call had been placed upon Jacob in the midst of his disruptive and broken life….the story's known as Jacob's ladder that takes place in Luz as Jacob flees his father's and brother's wrath for stealing the birthright (Genesis 28:10-19)…..the fear is also expressed in v17 he was afraid, and said, How dreadful is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven. This is the state of Jacob as he enters into the complexities of the relationships with Laban, Leah and Rachel…..and then comes full circle into the confrontation with Esau that he dreaded all these years since running away…..even as he faces his brother, his fear causes him to beg God for His mercy because of the prophetic dream God had given him……as Jacob put it…..'You promised so You can't let this turn out bad.'

It is in that moment, that grasping upon the promise that Jacob saw within the dream that God moves…..bringing into Jacob's life that moment of complete…….

Surrender.

Jacob spent his life desperate for a spiritual breakthrough…..fighting against God as his humanity dominated his hope, his trust and his life. He boxed with God, using the promise of the ladder dream as his 'ends justifying the means'…..and did so with human success. And at the moment where desperation and all too real fear made him realize that there was nothing that he could do, nothing that would pull him out of the mire of complexities and bad choices, He begs God to remember the promise….to bring His protection. And God comes to wrestle. No simple zap with a lightning bolt, no booming voice in the desert and no dream of promising futures. God shows up, when Jacob is alone and wrestles with him until 'the breaking of the day.' (Genesis 32:24).

Coming up against God……human vs Supernatural….human fragility vs Godly strength….I wonder why Jacob didn't throw in the towel within minutes. Surely his spirit was torn, bouncing back and forth between the 'fall-back' point of his human ambitions and his 'big, hairy, audacious dream' of godly spirituality. Maybe, as Laurie points out in his book, Jacob simply did what had been the trait of his whole life: struggled. Laurie points out an all too-important lesson that Jacob teaches us in this moment…."In recognized weakness lies our strength." Jacob spent his whole life up to this point struggling between his human fragility and his desire to pursue God. He never achieved the overpowering of the old nature with the new…..he failed, cheated and connived his way to get the things he felt due him, and yet had moments of spiritual clarity that he recognized God's presence. By our current 'corporate church environment', Jacob was such a failure that he'd never even be an elder in the church…..probably not even a greeter at the entrance.

"God met Jacob in this surprising way in order to reduce Jacob to a sense of his nothingness" Laurie writes, "to cause him to see what a poor, helpless and weak man he really was." Jacob, always second place who struggled to be at the top came into direct confrontation with his humanity and clung not to its weakness but to the reality of God…..weeping as he wrestled with God for the blessing he knew he did not deserve, that his life did not reflect and that he knew relied solely upon his determination to hang on despite the real fear that God would decide the same.

The result of this wrestling…..a limp. God displaced his hip and forever altered Jacob's life. He would live with some pain, as I am told is a result of an injury that would cause someone to limp the rest of their life. He would never be fully able to take care of himself and his family as a robust, healthy and strong man. There would be limitations, perceived through others or by his physical condition, but still there.

Yet, after God touched him and left him with the reminder of the event, He blessed him and brought him into the promise that He had intended for Jacob; Israel, he would forever be known as and from him would the great nation of the same name be born…….from that nation a Savior would rise to bring about the next step in the story of God about the redemption and restoration of man.

Laurie quotes E.M. Bounds and his book The Necessity of Prayer in his book. It touches the deepest parts of me as I journey much like Jacob did before he wrestled with God. Many nights have been 'haunted' by prayer, the utterance of a broken, rejected and passionate man that fights daily against his old nature and finds failures. A man who urgently utters the insistent cries of his heart to be used, no matter how, in the events of the greater story…..to be not someone but a vessel of a beloved son that draws others from the darkness of this world into the warm and loving embrace of God's grace and truth. In The Necessity of Prayer, Bounds writes,

"Importune prayer is a mighty movement of the soul towards God. It is a stirring of the deepest forces of the soul, toward the throne of heavenly grace. It is the ability to hold on, press on, and wait. Restless desire, restful patience, and the strength of grasp are all embraced in it. It is not an incident, or a performance, but a passion of the soul. It is not a want……but a sheer necessity."

It is "the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man" Laurie says that James talks about. It is something profound, intense and totally God-driven, that is a driving privilege of a child of God that defies 'speaking it into existence' or 'naming and claiming.' It is the broken realization that in our fragility we are still undeserving, unworthy and incapable of the wondrous and impossible dreams of Godly vision that God entices us with but we are, because of the connection and salvation born by the beating of our new heart, beset with a deep yearning for….a deep longing to be….used for His glory. Despite the life of our past, the failures of our present and the hopelessness of our future from a human perspective.

It is, in my own life, the realization that I may spend the rest of my days struggling, failing, moving and falling back upon the image of a rejected son….uncomfortable and uncertain except in the deepest recesses of my heart of the image of a beloved son….and it is by that brokenness, that realization of the utter hopelessness of my nothingness that God's glory and power and love will shine into the lives of others, bringing a greater awareness and understanding of the power of God's plan and the peace of His salvation.

In Jacob's life, we see how God makes good on His promises to take that intended for evil and turned to good by God's extraordinary grace……as evidenced most powerfully by a son who enjoyed a beloved status sold into slavery by resentment that would be instrumental in the preservation of the nation….."And God sent me before you to preserve you a remnant in the earth, and to save you alive by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his house, and ruler over all the land of Egypt." (Genesis 45:7-8 ASV) That man was Joseph.

In my life, unseen and unknown, maybe there is a Joseph that God has purposed for the greater work of preserving His children in the times ahead that I will be a part of getting them started on the journey towards that purpose, a part of drawing them along into the shaping and mentoring that Joseph needed to test his mettle, so that when that moment where he stood as Esther did and Moses did and Peter did and Paul did…….the realization of God's glory and their part within that story are made known in such a manner that defies human understanding and knowledge, drawing those still lost into His grace.

Jacob, "deceiver', became known as Israel, "one who has struggled with God."

His struggle changed a group of people into a history of God's fatherhood….and brought about another step in the progression of God's larger story in the history of all of humanity.

That's not such a bad legacy to leave, nor a life to live.

For the glory of God suffer we all, for our own victories for His grace do we wrestle with Him in the night.

Monday, January 11

Going deeper

"Who can measure the wealth and wisdom and knowledge of God? Who can understand his decisions or explain what he does? "Has anyone known the thoughts of the Lord or given him advice? Has anyone loaned something to the Lord that must be repaid?" Everything comes from the Lord. All things were made because of him and will return to him. Praise the Lord forever! Amen." (Romans 11:33-36 CEV)


 

"Remember Lazarus, the dead man? He had no options whatsoever. Jesus stood before the cold stone which sealed his tomb and ordered it removed, and then called out, "Lazarus, come forth!" And the dead man did so, now fully alive. A significant part of this event is contained in the name Lazarus — it means "without help." You see? God helps the helpless." James Ryle writes in his devotional Rylisms: The God of No Options. "Like Lazarus of old lying cold in his tomb, you and I will never be called into a new and deeper, more vibrant and wondrous walk with Jesus until we realize we truly have no other options but God."

That was the call of Pastor Shannon Nielsen of Mosaic A2 church in Ann Arbor at the first-ever "State of the Church" address yesterday. It is a theme that I have heard consistently throughout this experience called Christianity…..like the sweet, poetic singing of an unseen bird in the forest of this journey…..it sounds wondrous and free, even if you cannot discern the source in the covering of the treey canopy. "Go deeper"

For much of this journey towards home, with the filth and dung of the pigs still caked upon the meager clothing of my outfit, I have been approached by those that I have cross paths with….some on the same journey….with the adage, "God helps those who help themselves." Surely, they say, all the provisions of God….that stream over there, that sunlit meadow beyond are those things that God has laid in your path for the refreshment and caretaking of yourself……you don't really expect God to swoop down and wave His arm, washing you clean yourself do you?

We spend our journey in the meadows of this place, sitting comfortably in the pastures under the instruction of those who seem to know a bit more than we do, who have 'achieved' a bit more enlightenment that we ourselves are seemingly capable of……..we frolic in the waters that we come across, basking in the sunlit pastures of grassy seas to dry our clothing…….and yet, who can measure…..who can understand….

We long to remove the dust from the journey that grinds and chafes our skin…….the weight of the shield strapped to our backs or arms a burden we long to lay down beside the stream and be free of once and for all……the sword swings heavy on our hip…….we grow weary of the path that takes us through thickets and clinging plants…..we want and feel uncared for when we reach a clearing, take two steps and find ourselves back in the thick of the forest……

Surely that nice path is better, with tent and meals nicely packed in the satchel on our back……a leisurely stroll towards the meeting places of our brethren…..and eventually to our home.

Job thought that he had God figured out and therefore was justified in bringing his complaint before the Lord's judgment. With all he had suffered, all he had still proclaimed about God's sovereignty and authority, Job felt slighted and misaligned by the apparent allowance of judgment brought against him, for he had done what he could do to help the situation….and yet, nothing. Everything……everything down to the last blade of grass in his fields…..gone. Friends and his wife telling him it was his fault, that he needed to get up and find the source within his world, his life that had brought down such harsh judgment upon his head. His wife simply said, "Die……" Help yourself and be done with it. Find the reason and correct it. Demand your due for the praise you've given.

Far be it that such helpfulness is beyond any of our capabilities to deliver……

Chip Ingram notes Dawson Trotman took his passion and focus from his newly discovered salvation and stepped out into a journey that is written of in Daws: The Story of Dawson Trotman, Founder of the Navigators by Betty Lee Skinner…….a ministry that is in every major college campus all over the world and in the military (my brother serves as a missionary for this group in Germany)……Ingram brings up another impact made by Cameron Townsend…..the founder of Wycliffe Translator who went to sell Spanish Bibles to the Cakchiquel people in Guatemala, only to find that they didn't speak Spanish…..today the Wycliffe Translators endeavor to bring God's word written in the language of some 6,000 plus languages because of one simple man's realization that giving someone God's Word in their own heart's language is the most effective way to deliver the Gospel. In Uncle Cam, the beginning of a ministry that is well known as a leader in linguistics and in translating the Bible into over 2,000 languages is told. Ingram also read Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, a life-changing tome about an inventive missionary to China who created the China Inland Mission…..of which I have spoken of in a past blog…..that still exists today as the Overseas Missionary Fellowship.

"I learned from these three books," Ingram writes in Good to Great In God's Eyes, "that God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things." Not ordinary people do extraordinary things for God…..but God uses those who are helpless, hopelessly and utterly surrendered to Him in extraordinary, supernatural ways.

But, God's not looking for those who respect Him out of fear, or fearfully obey Him, or help themselves be the appearance of a 'godly' Christian. Just like the rich man whose riches are worth more than his eternal soul, the laborers who come late to the fields and get the same wages, or a man who would declare loyalty until death only to run like a coward from its possibility……we cannot help ourselves into the graces of God, the glory of doing His work or a comfortable life of easy paths and valleys…..

Passion and focus…..the driving themes of a Christian sold out to Christ.

Sold out to a God that is unknowable, at least to the standards we apply in our human understanding….sold out to a God that has ways that aren't anything like our own. A God to whom everything owes its beginnings to and whose ending is already known…for He has been to its coming and sees us for what we will be….even as He shapes us for that realization. Job experienced this God when He answered Job's accusations…..some thirty-eight chapters later……after all the 'God helps those who help themselves' conversations with his wife and friends……

"From out of a storm, the LORD said to Job: Why do you talk so much when you know so little? Now get ready to face me! Can you answer the questions I ask? How did I lay the foundation for the earth? Were you there? Doubtless you know who decided its length and width. What supports the foundation? Who placed the cornerstone, while morning stars sang, and angels rejoiced? When the ocean was born, I set its boundaries and wrapped it in blankets of thickest fog. Then I built a wall around it, locked the gates, and said, "Your powerful waves stop here! They can go no farther." Did you ever tell the sun to rise? And did it obey? Did it take hold of the earth and shake out the wicked like dust from a rug? Early dawn outlines the hills like stitches on clothing or sketches on clay. But its light is too much for those who are evil, and their power is broken. Job, have you ever walked on the ocean floor? Have you seen the gate to the world of the dead? And how large is the earth? Tell me, if you know! Where is the home of light, and where does darkness live? Can you lead them home? I'm certain you must be able to, since you were already born when I created everything. Have you been to the places where I keep snow and hail, until I use them to punish and conquer nations? From where does lightning leap, or the east wind blow? Who carves out a path for thunderstorms? Who sends torrents of rain on empty deserts where no one lives? Rain that changes barren land to meadows green with grass. Who is the father of the dew and of the rain? Who gives birth to the sleet and the frost that fall in winter, when streams and lakes freeze solid as a rock? Can you arrange stars in groups such as Orion and the Pleiades? Do you control the stars or set in place the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper? Do you know the laws that govern the heavens, and can you make them rule the earth? Can you order the clouds to send a downpour, or will lightning flash at your command? Did you teach birds to know that rain or floods are on their way? Can you count the clouds or pour out their water on the dry, lumpy soil? When lions are hungry, do you help them hunt? Do you send an animal into their den? And when starving young ravens cry out to me for food, do you satisfy their hunger? When do mountain goats and deer give birth? Have you been there when their young are born? How long are they pregnant before they deliver? Soon their young grow strong and then leave to be on their own. Who set wild donkeys free? I alone help them survive in salty desert sand. They stay far from crowded cities and refuse to be tamed. Instead, they roam the hills, searching for pastureland. Would a wild ox agree to live in your barn and labor for you? Could you force him to plow or to drag a heavy log to smooth out the soil? Can you depend on him to use his great strength and do your heavy work? Can you trust him to harvest your grain or take it to your barn from the threshing place? An ostrich proudly flaps her wings, but not because she loves her young. She abandons her eggs and lets the dusty ground keep them warm. And she doesn't seem to worry that the feet of an animal could crush them all. She treats her eggs as though they were not her own, unconcerned that her work might be for nothing. I myself made her foolish and without common sense. But once she starts running, she laughs at a rider on the fastest horse. Did you give horses their strength and the flowing hair along their necks? Did you make them able to jump like grasshoppers or to frighten people with their snorting? Before horses are ridden into battle, they paw at the ground, proud of their strength. Laughing at fear, they rush toward the fighting, while the weapons of their riders rattle and flash in the sun. Unable to stand still, they gallop eagerly into battle when trumpets blast. Stirred by the distant smells and sounds of war, they snort in reply to the trumpet. Did you teach hawks to fly south for the winter? Did you train eagles to build their nests on rocky cliffs, where they can look down to spot their next meal? Then their young gather to feast wherever the victim lies. I am the LORD All-Powerful, but you have argued that I am wrong. Now you must answer me. Face me and answer the questions I ask! Are you trying to prove that you are innocent by accusing me of injustice? Do you have a powerful arm and a thundering voice that compare with mine? If so, then surround yourself with glory and majesty. Show your furious anger! Throw down and crush all who are proud and evil. Wrap them in grave clothes and bury them together in the dusty soil. Do this, and I will agree that you have won this argument. I created both you and the hippopotamus. It eats only grass like an ox, but look at the mighty muscles in its body and legs. Its tail is like a cedar tree, and its thighs are thick. The bones in its legs are like bronze or iron. I made it more powerful than any other creature, yet I am stronger still. Undisturbed, it eats grass while the other animals play nearby. It rests in the shade of trees along the riverbank or hides among reeds in the swamp. It remains calm and unafraid with the Jordan River rushing and splashing in its face. There is no way to capture a hippopotamus-- not even by hooking its nose or blinding its eyes. Can you catch a sea monster by using a fishhook? Can you tie its mouth shut with a rope? Can it be led around by a ring in its nose or a hook in its jaw? Will it beg for mercy? Will it surrender as a slave for life? Can it be tied by the leg like a pet bird for little girls? Is it ever chopped up and its pieces bargained for in the fish-market? Can it be killed with harpoons or spears? Wrestle it just once-- that will be the end. Merely a glimpse of this monster makes all courage melt. And if it is too fierce for anyone to attack, who would dare oppose me? I am in command of the world and in debt to no one. What powerful legs, what a stout body this monster possesses! Who could strip off its armor or bring it under control with a harness? Who would try to open its jaws, full of fearsome teeth? Its back is covered with shield after shield, firmly bound and closer together than breath to breath. When this monster sneezes, lightning flashes, and its eyes glow like the dawn. Sparks and fiery flames explode from its mouth. And smoke spews from its nose like steam from a boiling pot, while its blazing breath scorches everything in sight. Its neck is so tremendous that everyone trembles, the weakest parts of its body are harder than iron, and its heart is stone. When this noisy monster appears, even the most powerful turn and run in fear. No sword or spear can harm it, and weapons of bronze or iron are as useless as straw or rotten wood. Rocks thrown from a sling cause it no more harm than husks of grain. This monster fears no arrows, it simply smiles at spears, and striking it with a stick is like slapping it with straw. As it crawls through the mud, its sharp and spiny hide tears the ground apart. And when it swims down deep, the sea starts churning like boiling oil, and it leaves behind a trail of shining white foam. No other creature on earth is so fearless. It is king of all proud creatures, and it looks upon the others as nothing." (Job 38:1-40:2, 40:7-42:1 CEV)


 

Face to face with God, we all shall come in the passage of our lives in this journey….a journey I trust you are taking towards Him………and in the end of this journey, God will declare that you owe Him an answer for the "helping yourself" into the purposes He has set aside for you…..

Will your answer be like Job's?


 

"Job said: No one can oppose you, because you have the power to do what you want. You asked why I talk so much when I know so little. I have talked about things that are far beyond my understanding. You told me to listen and answer your questions. I heard about you from others; now I have seen you with my own eyes. That's why I hate myself and sit here in dust and ashes to show my sorrow." (Job 42:1-6 CEV)


 

When we help ourselves, we declare God unable to do so. When we give our lives in absolute surrender, trusting in Him to help us who are now helpless, like Lazarus, we begin a life of extraordinary things because of an extraordinary God.


 


 


 


 


 

Sunday, January 10

Motive

"For our appeal does not spring from deceit, impure motives, or trickery. Rather, because we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, we speak as we do, not trying to please people but God, who tests our motives. As you know, we did not come with words of flattery or with a scheme to make money. God is our witness! We did not seek praise from people-from you or from anyone else." (1 Thessalonians 2:3-6 ISV)


 

"The process of qualification can be quite exasperating, for it essentially involves the full execution of selfish desires, impure motives, hidden agendas, deceitful practices, vain ambitions and, uh – let's see – oh yeah, greed, lust, and anger. And a whole bunch of other things, too. Did I mention whining?" Jim Ryle writes.

This process of qualification, God qualifying the called and not the other way around, is a difficult and soul-disrupting thing…..God carries you through your 'selfish desires, impure motives, hidden agendas, deceitful practices, vain ambitions, greed, lust and anger….' and lays it on the table between you and He. These are the things, He points out, that you bring to the table…..a kind of sinful offering for the nobler purpose of the call and they cannot exists, they cannot be the baggage that you bring with you when you go out as purposed and appointed by God to go. It is the way we want God to use us, as we are and we don't realize when we are called that it requires as Jim Ryle puts it, "shak[ing] well before using."

I wonder if I'll ever be ready to have a clean table between me and God as we discuss the qualifications for the call…..He is mighty and powerful to save, but I look around with jealously at those who are serving as pastors, ministers, elders, chaplains, and missionaries……selfishly so. We are each equipped to be a minister, involved in a personal ministry and it matters, whether simple hospitality at Church or the more frontline action of the missionary field……each is a cog in the large machine that is rolling through the darkness, important and vital to the Kingdom business……specifically suited and adapted to each of us, God-ordained and appointed, that no one else can do…no matter the similarities overall between each of them.

It's not because of some un-desirability that we are stripped so bare before the Lord in our humble answering to the call He has placed upon our hearts; it is because of the importance of the Message in which we are commissioned to carry…..and how easily such selfish desires, motives, agendas and the rest of those sinful, even if unrealized, practices that hamper our motivation to be of use for His Kingdom and glory. We carry not our own importance, skills, abilities and gifts into the ministry to which we've been called, but rather a singular reliance upon God's strength and power to see us into the encroaching darkness that we each must enter. Left to our own, no matter how suited and equipped in our individual call….we will fail because we go against an enemy that knows us as well as we know ourselves, if not better, and we cannot stand against him by ourselves…..

I am finding myself being stubborn…..because of selfish jealously and self-protection. More and more, as I spend time with those in the family of Christ at both Berean Bible Church (Wednesday nights) and at what I consider my home church Mosaic A2, I'm finding the tried and true argument against the corporate Church falling like a sticky mess on the ground….and realize despite the honesty and history of the argument that I have come across two distinctly different congregations of the Church who cannot 'nailed' to that particular Cross. Oh, there are still 'problems' within these churches I am sure….one can find problems with anything that requires the active participation of humanity……but the hard line items that I argued against time and time again as major issues with the Church are strangely vacant in these places….and I am sure there are other congregations who are the same. But it has become a stopping point for me, even as I realize its emptiness…..it lies on the table between the Lord and I seeping into the wood, staining it an most unsightly black, a huge mess marring the beautiful grains and polish of His table….…..

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever push back from the table between God and I, reaching over to clasp His hand in mine as we smile broadly at the exciting work we're about to embark upon…..I wonder if my struggles over the old nature and all of its baggage will ever be of the ease and immaterialness of those others I see walking in faithful work with Him. And I am jealous of those who have been found approved for the work to which He has set them aside for………..

And I know it's the ugliness of the rejected son rearing his head again….trying to convince me that I cannot do the mighty things that God keeps calling me to do, keeps bringing me to that table of testing and finds me wanting; still troubled by selfish agendas and motives……instead of the beauty of the beloved son, who has been equipped for times such as these to go forth into the world uniquely qualified to serve His mission.

It saddens my heart to feel that way, time after time……and to be brought to this table, not for the maddeningly disruptive shaking but for the qualification……but I don't know if I'll ever stop doing so, even if in the experience of the qualifying is all I will ever do. For in the unquenchable thirst to serve Him, inadequately as I may feel I'd do, there is no other place I would rather be and nothing I would ever be desired to experience than the shaking of God to bring me into closer and deeper relationship with Him for the purposes of the Kingdom's glory.

But still…..in the crowded worship halls of the true Church and its members, I feel very much like I am in the back bouncing up and down, saying….."Oh, Oh, send me!!!!"

Today the ugliness of the church wounds I have carried and some of the selfish agenda that I've allowed it to become stared me in the face and I was ashamed……

For this is not what God would send into the world to serve His plan……a selfish motive to 'prove them wrong.'

Humbled I felt burdened as I listened to the message today…..sorrowed as I struggled against the jealously of those who are going out into the fields of His harvest as they answer His call……and saddened that even as I recognize the impossibility of God's plan for me that I would struggle with the faith to set the course He would set for me to make it impossibly real…..

I have so far to go……..and He hasn't forgotten His promise to me that the plans He has for me are grander and more beautiful than I could ever know……

If I only have faith…….and lay down the selfish motives of my heart for the sake of the call….

Thursday, January 7

Simple things

"So the angel explained that it was the following message of the LORD to Zerubbabel: I am the LORD All-Powerful. So don't depend on your own power or strength, but on my Spirit. Zerubbabel, that mountain in front of you will be leveled to the ground. Then you will bring out the temple's most important stone and shout, "God has been very kind." The LORD spoke to me again and said: Zerubbabel laid the foundation for the temple, and he will complete it. Then everyone will know that you were sent by me, the LORD All-Powerful. Those who have made fun of this day of small beginnings will celebrate when they see Zerubbabel holding this important stone. Those seven lamps represent my eyes--the eyes of the LORD--and they see everything on this earth." (Zechariah 4:6-10 CEV)


 

Albert Barnes writes, "The day of small things is especially God's day, whose strength is made perfect in weakness; who raised Joseph from the prison, David from the sheepfold, Daniel from slavery, and converted the world by fishermen and tent makers — having Himself first become the Carpenter."

I will never forget the first outreach event I was blessed to work with as part of the 'gang' from Mosaic A2, a Habitat for Humanity renovation for a single father of four children. They had to reroute the pipes in the upstairs bathroom and I was the one who got to repair the cut made in the floor so that the vanity could be replaced. Because it was an HfH build, we reused the material that was cut out to fix the hole. A small piece of wood, cut out, doesn't usually fit right back in to the hole from whence it came…..Murphy's Law or something like that. Though it was being covered by the vanity, I wanted it to be perfect so that this father and his children, if ever they had to remove the vanity, they would see a good repair to the flooring.

A small thing, for sure, in the scheme of building a house. Nothing that would affect the structural integrity of the building or would even possibly ever be noticed in the years this family will make that house their home. But as I shaped and measured the wood to accommodate the pipes, I was fully focused on it….as if it was the single most important thing in the whole world. It is the small things that we do that define the bigger things that we shape and grow in the epic tale that is our story……and it is those small things within our story that combine with the Lord's greater tale of the redemption of man and the ultimate expression of His glory.

I am a simple man and I love the small details.

We can gaze at a sunset upon the water or set over a mountain top and not see the various physics that have taken place to make that happen. We neither worry about the location of the sun, the passage of the light nor even the formation of that body of water or solidness of that mountain. We see the beautiful brush of the Artist's hand making bold and marvelous strokes across the canvas of the sky and our hearts drink in its beauty like a thirsty desert traveler.

We reach out to others, doing simple things: a ride to somewhere that they need to go, a visit in the hospital after an illness, a hug when life's tragedies hit another hard or a word of kindness that brightens a day…even if only for a moment. It is the simple things that lead to larger, but it is the simple things that need to be done before the largest of expressions of love can be done.

Yes, giving someone a ride somewhere might not inconvenience us too much or cooking a meal to deliver to a homebound recovering patient in the larger scheme of substance for them probably doesn't matter much. The hug might be a natural extension of our love and companionship between friends and family and more of a traditional way to greet. The ebb and flow of the oceans are rhythmic in their motion and background noise as we sit upon the beach.

But the smaller things lead to or support the larger movement of life beneath its waves, or the expression in the sky of a Creator's handiwork and love.

A simple carpenter married an insignificant woman; together they found themselves in a stable in Bethlehem gazing down upon the face of God in the form of a baby boy. A baby boy who would one day hang upon a Cross of wood and pain for the sake of humanity because of the simplicity of love.

A simple shepherd boy would stand before the giant Goliath and fell him with a simple riverbed stone. He would be known throughout the ages as a man after God's own heart and from his line would come that baby boy.

A righteous man is taken into captivity and serves as if he's still free……He would be in the right place, with the right authority to keep Israel alive through a famine.

A woman, beautiful and timid, marries a King. She would be in the right place at the right time to prevent the designs set against her people to wipe them from the face of the earth through the schemes of an evil man.

A widow gives the most she can give as a tithe….pennies…..and the largeness of her heart's sacrifice is recorded throughout time as an example of small, simple things that speak of the larger parts of the tale we journey in.

Someone calls a friend who is feeling down and stops them with simple encouragement from taking those pills….they are restored and become the impus for several lives to be saved through their counseling sessions.

It is the simple things in life that connect us to each other and tells us that at least in one person's eyes we have value. From there, the value our Heavenly Father holds for us….that jealous love….is realized and another testimony, another transformation is reached.

It is the simple things that makes heroes and heroines…..it is the simple refusal to relax our morals on any ground, any issue or for even ourselves that make us stand like trees deeply rooted in God's love and it is those trees that become clinging points for those blown to and fro in the storms of this life. Lives get saved, by the simplest of things.

Coming back home last night from Berean Bible Church, who has been blessed with a new pastor, my son looked at me shyly and said, "Dad, I prayed tonight that God would bless us with the ability to get our own house. I did it with the group……..did I do right?" It isn't because he hasn't ever prayed or that I've hammered him for asking God for things. Our family serves, often to provide those things we need ourselves for others….because we know how important are…….

The simple things….

If you know my son, you know of his 'impairment'….he gets excited and talks too fast and the complexity of sentences is hard for him to form and carry. Conversations aren't his strongest points. Simplisticity is best, direct and to the point. For him to speak in a group of his peers is a major effort for him to be understood….and yet he knows in the company of others who are faithful followers of Christ like him, there is the power of answered prayers under the agreement of the body. He just didn't want to be selfish, asking for the needs of the family…….when he knows that there are others worse off than we are, who don't have the blessings we have.

It is the simple things like my son's faith that get me up in the morning and power through the endless job sites looking, filing resume after resume and praying continuously for God's direction…..for he watches me for the simple things….

The simple things……..

prayer, praise, fellowship and worship.

These things lead to the bigger things, those moments when God walks upon in the lives of the faithful and MOVES mountains impossibly and brings about the redemption of His children by the undeniable examples of His grace, His love and His mercy.

You may not think that bible lying on the desk at work, that you read in your spare moments, is ever recognized by others until the day a co-worker walks up to you, tears in their eyes and says, "I know you're a godly man and a Christian. Would you pray for my grandmother? She's not doing well and I'm so scared…." You may not think that helping hand to a person in line behind you, dropping 20.00 dollars on their bill for groceries, does anything….until you hear their sobs of surprise that now they can get some gas for their car…..and maybe make it a little further down the road to recovery for their family.

You may not think playing a game of gin rummy with a homeless person in a shelter, listening to the stories of mile-high snows from the elderly at a nursing home or volunteering to be a coach for a special Olympic softball team means anything……

"What others overlook, Jesus takes hold of and then uses to do extraordinary things." James Ryle writes in his devotional Rylisms. "….. That's why He took hold of you. And that, my friend, is no small thing!"

Remember, with a little faith you can move mountains……….

Wednesday, January 6

As Christ said, "They shall know you by how you love one another" A blessing from a sister in Christ....

I've heard this song in relation to Olympic athletes - perhaps the 1996 Olympics, of which I was a particular fan). I think of you as that athlete. You are running one of the most challenging marathons I have heard of. You are trying to do your best, in obedience to God's leading, to keep your head above water, only to find yourself sinking with every effort you make. Do not be discouraged, beloved brother. God is not done with you yet!

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Here is what Paul wrote, about YOU:
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:3-6)

Take heart, dear brother! God will lift up your head. Your eyes are focussed on the prize - achieving the impossible dream, reaching the unreachable star - with a heart overflowing with love for the lost and wounded in this world, so that they will be blessed in heaven eternally. Do not be discouraged by circumstances. They seem so definitive, though, don't they? But look at Sarah. She conceived in old age. And Elizabeth had been barren. And Mary yet a virgin! God seems to be blind to earthly circumstances, not of discompassion, but to the obstacles.

Papua New Guinea

"In the presence of our God and Father, we constantly remember how your faith is active, your love is hard at work, and your hope in our Lord Jesus Christ is enduring. Brothers whom God loves, we know that he has chosen you, for the gospel we brought did not come to you in words only, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit, and with deep conviction. Indeed, you know what kind of people we proved to be while we were with you, acting on your behalf. You became imitators of us and of the Lord. In spite of a great deal of suffering, you welcomed the word with the joy that the Holy Spirit produces. As a result, you became a model for all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia." (1 Thessalonians 1:3-7 ISV)


 

"We find ourselves in the middle of a story that is sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful, often a confusing mixture of both, and we haven't a clue how to make sense of it all. It's like we're holding in our hands some pages torn out of a book. These pages are the days of our lives. Fragments of a story." John Eldridge writes in his devotional from his book EPIC. "They seem important, or at least we long to know they are, but what does it all mean? If only we could find the book that contains the rest of the story."

Coming from the disappointing 'orientation' at Madonna University where I've found out I am not 'officially' a student yet (transcript problems) and that the scholarships I applied for were meant for high school students who haven't attended college, I was feeling really defeated. It is going on month 3 of the unemployment and the 'benefit' of the funds from the unemployment office have merely slowed the slide into the oblivion of failure…..not just defeating failure that one can recover from, but the absolute and complete ending of any semblance of life. Already I am $300.00 behind on the minimal bills that I need to keep my family going for the month and struggle to bring a realistic outlook to a budget that is too out-going and not in-coming.

""To be, or not to be?" That was the question in Shakespeare's classic soliloquy, asked by brooding Hamlet as he contemplated suicide." James Ryle, founder of Promise Keepers and President of TruthWorks Ministries, writes in his devotional "Rylisms: Steel In Your Convictions." "But the nobler question for those of us who choose to live is, "What to be, or what not to be?" That's the real question."

In the postmodern world we live in, far removed from the simplistic lifestyles of those who walked with Jesus Christ and sat down at His feet on the Mount, we have lost the meaning of who we are and what we are meant to be. In a world where we seek selfish things and demand the comfort of our economic lifestyle of nice home, car, job and family, such defeats like the one (of many) I have faced in the effort to obtain a degree so that I might be able to find the employment capable enough to propel my family back into our own home, maintain the vehicle and provide for them a life that is far from ideal but ideal in its objective: to live for God and bring Him glory.

"What not to be…." Ryle writes.

There is a song that has been haunting my soul lately……one that I know of, but for some reason, the words seem to leap out of the radio and pierce my heart. "There is hope for me yet, because God won't forget all the plans He's made for me….I'll have to wait and see….He's not finished with me yet."

It seems doors are closing everywhere I turn lately. College, degree and even the more noble charge of following God's purpose into full time ministry – a destination I thought would spell itself out in the comfortable surroundings of a church that 'gets it' with an eventual journey to Australia as (what I have been corrected on) is an apostle position in the missionary field. There has been silence on the fronts where I serve; my home church is yet too new and we have yet to build a relationship that would preclude pastorship…the Men's ministry hasn't yet finalized what part, if any, I will play in the 'new' direction it is taking with those of us who have committed to its mission: to build up men who are godly, masculinity as designed by God's own hand. The hope in God's plan remains even as my heart whispers that there is no way 'man' will ever back God up.

And yet God keeps on calling me to 'dream the impossible' and dare to live with the possibility of 'absolute failure.'

Months ago, when the 'vision' of being an apostle to the country of Australia, a country where the idea of religion has become a 'yeah whatever' kind of attitude, I dreamed and dared to express it to those who knew me. As is my 'mode of operandi', I began researching missionary groups that would get me there…..to Australia….even mentioning it to the group I belong to, wanting to take the aspects and teachings of godly masculinity to a world where such a concept is direly needed. I discovered two things in that research; most ministries want indigenous missionaries (country-born) for Australia due to its visas rules (missionaries must reapply every three months….leaving the country and returning when the visa is approved), and there are a lot of people who don't believe that a single father of two children (one special needs) could effectively be a missionary. I filled out a questionnaire and application with a 'clearinghouse' group called the Finisher's Project anyway and left that dream alone, to fall silently upon the pile of impossible goals that God seems to drive into my head. Rather than daring to question "what to be," I have gotten into the depressing loop of "To be, or not to be" that dominates my waking hours lately.

Then I get a call, which I didn't take at first…..it showed up as an "Absent Number" on the caller id….I listened to the message several hours later when my son and I were sitting in the circle at my daughter's school to pick them up for the day. I really didn't catch the company's name, it sounded like something like Whitley and Associates, but the message captured my heart and I found myself once again thinking of the foolish impossibilities of God and what He seems to constantly be throwing into my vision. The Director of Mobilization wanted me to call him back; he wanted to discuss some possibilities in the Asia and Pacific areas of the world and had found my application through the Finisher's Project. Australia falls into the Pacific area.

God is up to something…..in each and every portion of our lives where we open ourselves to Him. He doesn't dream the impossible, for nothing is impossible for Him, but to our foolish and fragile hearts such epic tales that He wants to write in our historic tale (a chapter in His larger and dynamic story), such visions seem too impossible, too unrealistic and therefore lie undone, dormant in the 'regrets' department of our hearts.

God doesn't forget….He is faithful, loving and hopeful even in these days of impossibility where people dare to dream of reaching out from an established plant into the community around them to reach a demographic that has chewed up and spit out others that have spoken the Christian message….who love without reason….who serve with sacrificial service….He doesn't call us in these challenging times to the creature comforts of our life, our nation and our world but calls us to breach the borders of our hearts and dare to dream the impossible dream…..serving at His behest where He would have us go. As Henry Blackaby says in Experiencing God, when God does this enticement, the demand carries an automatic 'major' upheaval of our lives. In a world where hopelessness overcomes fragile hope and 'anything to relive the sorrow of the world' is the norm, such people stand out: daring, foolish, and even a bit crazy. The Shadrachs, Meshachs and Abednegos of our world stand in the face of certain censure and refuse to dream the mundane of life.

They cannot sit in the church pews of their congregations and be silent. They cannot relax each Sunday as others struggle in the needs of the ministries it supports but they become driven doers of the Word they have taken into their hearts, instead of relying on the mere utterance of its application. Paul identifies the character of these 'crazy people' who work the 'work of faith, labor of love and patience of hope' in the paths that God has enticed them to journey with Him and for Him. God has placed His hand upon each of us, and by the laying of hands has set us aside like Paul and Barnabas to be something special, something more than what we are because we were meant to be so much more……and in the ferocious winds of these times, to have the strength of God steeling your backbone and fanning the flames of impossibilities….such daring visions of what 'could be' far outweigh the possibility of what 'isn't possible.'

All of us are to leave a legacy……and my legacy I want to leave my children is that their father was known not for his impossible dreams but the labor of love that was sustained by his faithful work endured with the patience of hope eternally known.

Papua New Guinea, the second largest island in the world, is home to 6,057,263 people in an area slightly larger than the state of California. In 1975, it gained independence from the administering nation of Australia, who had governed the northern half of the island through a UN mandate after German rule and governed the southern half at the behest of Great Britain. It is located 'above' Australia and is 462,840 sq km as measured by its island group between the Coral Sea and the South Pacific Ocean. It has 5,152 km of coastline and is a tropical climate that consists mostly of mountains with coastal lowlands and rolling foothills, with Mount Wilhelm being the highest point at 4,509 meters. It is a land of active volcanism as it lies in the Pacific "Ring of Fire" and has frequent earthquakes, mud slides and tsunamis. Its rainforests are being depleted as the world demands tropical timber, pollution is a problem from the mining operations and the land is experiencing severe drought (as is Australia). The island of New Guinea is shared with the nation of Indonesia, a source of illegal cross-border activities including goods smuggling, illegal narcotics trafficking, and squatters and secessionists

It is a country that suffers a 1.5% HIV/AIDS rate with 54,000 of the population infected and major infectious diseases like bacterial diarrhea, hepatitis A, dengue fever, malaria and typhoid fever are of a very high risk factor among the ethnic groups of Melanesian, Papuan, Negrito, Micronesian and Polynesian people who call 20 provinces; Bougainville, Central, Chimbu, Eastern Highlands, East New Britain, East Sepik, Enga, Gulf, Madang, Manus, Milne Bay, Morobe, National Capital, New Ireland, Northern, Sandaun, Southern Highlands, Western, Western Highlands, West New Britain their home.

The indigenous population of Papua New Guinea is one of the most heterogeneous (unrelated or unlike each other) in the world; Several thousand separate communities, most with only a few hundred people are divided by language, customs, and tradition. 37% of the population lives below the poverty line and 1.9% are unemployed with an average family income of 50.9 gini. Agriculture is the lifeblood of 75% of the population and consists of coffee, cocoa, copra, palm kernels, tea, sugar, rubber, sweet potatoes, fruit, vegetables, vanilla with shell fish, poultry and pork being the meats. The major industries in PNG are copra crushing, palm oil processing, plywood production, wood chip production, mining of gold, silver and copper; crude oil production, petroleum refining, construction and tourism. Telephone service is minimal with a 'teledensity' of 11 per 100 persons. International radio communication is the prevalent source of communication.

The country's main source of transportation is aircraft due to the rugged terrain and high cost of infrastructure development; major areas are inaccessible by foot or vehicle. There is only 19,600 km of roads in the entire country with only 686 km paved but there are 560 airports with 21 paved and two heliports. Into this land comes the ominous trafficking of women and children from Malaysia, the Philippines, Thailand and China for commercial sexual exploitation and involuntary domestic servitude because of government inaction to cripple the criminals with legal punishment, protection services for the victims and identification of anyone engaged in its commission.

Into this country is where Wycliffe Associates wants me to go. Founded by Bill Butler, Dale Kietzman and Rudy Renfer for the sake of increasing Bible translation hours by the thousands through the removal of non-translation tasks by the translators themselves into the hands of laypeople whose variety of skills and servant hearts who were personally involved in fulfilling the Great Commission….bring God's Word to every tongue, tribe and nation.

Vision 2025 is a worldwide effort to bring a translation of the Bible in over 2,393 languages that do not have a adequate Bible which is instrumental to the teaching, understanding and discipleship of all people….fulfilling the Great Commission in its entirety…an effort supported by construction workers, Vacation Bible School volunteers, accountants, mechanics and a wealth of other necessary support services provided by Wycliffe Associates that enable the translators to perform the laborious work of providing God's Word in a native tongue.

I could be a vital part of the servicing of electronic equipment for the Papua New Guineans and the missionaries in the field; help maintain the 300 airstrips that provide these translators access to the people they are working with; be a gopher for the staff; or a host of other support skill areas. The need is great and the harvesters few. So I have given them permission to start the process of 'qualifying' me for missionary service and will begin the process of finding support and gathering together the other many things that are needed for my family to serve in the country of Papua New Guinea as part of the worldwide effort of the faithful to reach all the world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Impossible, certainly but only improbable if I don't dare to risk absolute failure for the certainty of God's glory by not giving God an opportunity to once again show His faithfulness in the provisioning of the vision.

Who knows where daring to dream the impossible may take me and my children……and what life lessons we will be taught by the people actively engaged on the frontlines of the battle for the world. God's not finished with me yet. As He entices me into the greater story of His plan, purpose and vision, those pages yet unwritten beat of a grand adventure into the heart of our Savior and King's purpose that was set aside for me from days before time.

…..all that's left before the first stroke of His pen upon that empty page is my dreaming the impossible.


 



 

Sunday, January 3

A tale to tell…….

"I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known unto you."—John 15:15

2009 is one for the history books, as we enter the third day of 365 that make up the calendar year of 2010, and I look back at all that has transpired in my world and am humbled. Humbled by the way I have handled those things well which I would not have otherwise in years previous, saddened by the way I handled things poorly that I could've handled better and crushed by the way I crucified opportunities presented to me that I was just too fearful to embrace.

I sit here, thinking upon the two quotes from early church fathers that the Lord has put on my heart today and the verse from John 15……how the concept of friendship fits with faith and the divinity of Scripture…..and my mind keeps drifting to a powerful tale I just finished reading from one of my new friends in the family of God and how God has shaped that story in amazing ways. What hits upon the walls of my mind is not the way God has been given honor and glory through this woman's testimony but how the church…how some of the faithful…who have been charged to be a friend, mentor and journeyer with her have failed her in this and by that failure, have dishonored God and Christ. It all comes down to a few sentences in the powerful telling of her story that speaks of the failure of us all…."I've been told to be ashamed of myself, in only slightly masked words. But I refuse to be ashamed when God has washed me clean. I've been fearful of people's responses – I've experienced everything from marriage proposals, to being outright rejected wholly or in part. But my God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love."

Where, in those words, has the friendship….as taught to us by the example, words and deeds of our Savior……been given to this vibrant, alive and washed sister in the family? Her testimony rings out loud of the redemptive, restoring and healing love of our Father, speaking a silent indictment against the 'faithful' of organized Church.

This is an example of how we, as a 'corporate' collection of brothers and sisters, have failed and why the world looks upon us as hypocrites and liars as our own lives condemn even our own. I am not saying that we must allow sin to live in the church but who are we to say that sin has not been forgiven, redeemed and restored, cast away by the blood of Christ? We look to the fruit bore from the tree…..as Christ said, "No bad tree can bear good fruit and no good tree can bear bad fruit." This sister has more honor in her sacrifice than most of us have in our sinful condemnation of it.

I don't know where God is leading me in this…..the testimony of this sister in Christ resounds in my ears and breaks in my heart….and the verse from John which speaks of the high honor the Lord has given us through the honorific of 'friend'….the divinity of scripture….and faith. Granted, there is the obvious connection between this testimony, the absolute reliance she has upon scriptural authority and her faith that makes such divinity of scripture accurately endowed. Surely I can speak to that with some measure of 'experience' as those who know my testimony will attest to…..but there seems to lie deeper meaning within these four things that have been gathered together at this time for me to ponder, to seek God's wisdom within and to articulate into words as is my propensity to do

…..always the bard ….…

I struggled with what all these things meant, jumbled together in the various parts of my mind…..and I must admit honestly, I was a bit grumpy when I went to church this morning, because I so hate having anything unresolved in my mind and I knew that I would be seeing this warrior in our community called church today and I so wanted to impress upon her how epic her story was….not in the circumstances but in how God has shown His favor in the years since and how wrong, how very wrong the Church is to ever have rejected her under the blood of Christ, something I don't think in the halls of the 'postmodern' church she had ever been told…….in the end, I was only left with words to speak, words that fail to impart just the honor and grace that she has shown in the telling of her story.

Her faith, borne of circumstances and cemented in experience, makes her walk in the halls of the faithful with her head held high….not for a committed sin but because in the redemption of Christ's blood lie no more shame, no more guilt, about what has come before……we are new creatures and born anew under His image….her story tells of the a faith that is born from the trials and tribulations not of life, but of being among 'believers' who judge by the opinion of the day rather than the 'faithful' who judge according to the evidence and fruit of redemptive grace. She holds the meaning of faith as expressed in the first quote I had been 'impressed' with this morning…..

"Faith, so to speak, is a comprehensive knowledge of the essentials. And knowledge is the strong and sure demonstration of what is received by faith." Clement of Alexandria said, "It is built upon faith by the Lord's teaching."

She walks with the assurance of things unseen within the understanding of what the Lord has said within the Word and within her heart. She has realized John 15:15 and lived within a comprehensive understanding of what truly living washed by the blood and living in loving compassion for another is…..her tale speaks of it in volumes…. Her faith, surely not fully explored within the context of what God has for her, is more exposed, developed, strong and sure than many who sit within the pews or walk the halls and judge because she has demonstrated what she has learned in her own life…..

It is exciting for me to meet a living and breathing heroine….someone that I can say, "Hey, I know you…." And someone who has brought to life the divinity of Scripture through her testimony…..which is where the next quote from Origen comes into the tale…….

"The divinity of Scripture --- which extends to all of it --- is not [lost] because of the inability of our weakness to discover in every expression the hidden splendor of the doctrines veiled in common and unattractive phraseology. For we have the 'treasures in earthen vessels' so that the Excellency of the power of God may shine forth. For if the usual methods of demonstration used by men…..had been successful in convincing us, then our faith would rightly have been thought to rest on the wisdom of men --- not on the power of God. However, now it is evident to everyone who lifts up his eyes that the word and preaching have not prevailed among the multitude 'by persuasive words of wisdom, but by demonstration of the Spirit and of power.'"

Once we realize the power of the Scriptures, divinely 'endorsed' in the testimonies of the faithful because only the Spirit moving in God's plan could be the source of the strength, compassion, joy, peace and grace…..we can then realize the truly powerful, awesome and humbling fact that Jesus Christ….the Only Begotten Son of the great I AM……calls us friend.

It is not the simple 'friendship' that seems to haunt the world and even exists in the hallways of our "corporate" church experience…..a comrade, chum, confidant, ally or compatriot that is attracted to another by feelings of affection or personal regard, though for sure there is (at the simplistic level) such connection between us and our Savior. But, as is unlikely in the halls of our churches and in the daily expression of life, we don't go beyond these shallow waters of a deeper subject……friendship does not know limits but is unlimited in its expression, its strength and its commitment………

A friend will reveal themselves to those who bear the name…..exposed in ways that allow the chance for pain and sorrow, confidential information expressed with the power to hurt or to edify……

A friend will find high honor and pleasure in working with those who are of twin-soul, working in the commonest of community…..it is this joy in another's work in the world-wide redemption of Christ that resembles most the pleasure and delight that Christ has in us as fellow workers of the harvest.

And, as is evidenced by the tender affection of Christ while we were 'yet sinners' to die for us, a friend stands not in front of or behind another friend but alongside….in failure and success, peril and intercession….extorting us to stand our ground in the fight, encouraging us in the weariness of the struggle and seeking to restore us in healing from the wounds of this world by the love, compassion and grace that we were taught and live under in the friendship of Christ…….

Do you see how one cannot exist without the other??? Friendship, as taught and emulated by Christ, must come from knowledge, born and demonstrated by the faith of a Son in the divinity of a Father's word, written for the demonstration of God's power to shine forth upon a world hidden in darkness…..

Today, I got to give a hug to a friend who has stood upon the mountain top and told her tale….not for compassion borne from sorrow or human sympathy, but to speak of the grace, love and provision of a God who takes us from the hardest and most difficult places in our lives to a place where we know the truth of His love, embrace and glory…..and live in the promise of "all things good for those who love Him……"

It was a great day to be among the faithful…….and to express the Father's pride in one of His own……