Friday, December 21

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Top Ten Gift Comments*

What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.

10. "Well, well, well, now, there's a gift!"

9. "No, with all the hostile takeovers this year, I missed the big Ronco/K-Tel/Ginsu merger. Would you just look at that! What will they think of next?!"

8. "Hey, as long as I don't have to feed it, or clean up after it, or put batteries in it, I'm happy!"

7. "No, really, I didn't know that there was a Chia Pet tie! Oh, wow! It's a clip-on too!"

6. "You know, I always wanted one of these! Jog my memory -- what's it called again?"

5. "You know what? -- I'm going to find a special place to put this!"

4. "Boy, you don't see craftsmanship like that every day!"

3. "And it's such an interesting color too!"

2. "You say that was the last one? Am I ever glad that you snapped that baby up!"

And the number one thing to say about the Christmas gifts you didn't like is: "You shouldn't have! I mean it -- you really shouldn't have!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Turning tides........

'But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7 (ESV)

There is a moment in every battle.....where the tide turns on way or the other. No matter the weaponry used, sticks and stones or tanks and planes, this perception happens each time........

In the fight, Christian warriors have those moments of realization where the tide has turned....sometimes for, sometimes against...

But always with God's hand upon the turning.......

I had a dream last night that I was standing amidst the field of battle; bloodied and bruised, tired and exhausted,and I felt that turning...the tide of the battle against the enemy and his minions turning...against me and my brothers in arms....

Like William Wallace, Leonius, and countless other leaders in the midst of battles both physical and spiritual, I turned to my Savior in answer to His question.....

"Will you follow me, dear friend, despite the odds? Will you stand, my brother, against the tide? Will you die for me as I have died for you?"

In the struggles of just living, there are many more things that we are called to under the banner of the Most High to do in service to the Kingdom. For some, its evangelism. Others, it's teaching. Some are called to reach out in love and understanding to counsel those who are lost. And some are called to fight in political circles for the values we all share.

And we grow weary in the battle…..tired of the constant defense that comes with the armor we wear, that is emblazoned with the symbol of the King of All Kings….Lord of Lords, and Almighty God.

Maybe this isn't the appropriate verse for this thought…but it caught my eye as I skimmed my email…….take courage!

Isn't that what every leader from Roman times up to the Iraqi war has cried out to the troops that are facing that turning tide of the battle? And haven't the warriors responded to the cry????

Take courage. Stand firm.

HonorBound had this to say in regards to this verse:

Determination is based on the fact that your work and effort is going to pay off in the end. You will never know how close you come to victory if you quit. Keep praying and working for the Lord and He will make His presence known in your life. You may not feel strong and you may not feel courageous, but do not go by your feelings. Keep your mind on the reward, not the enemy. God is bigger than your problem, and stronger than your enemy.

Oh, the answer I gave Jesus as we stood there, watching the tide seem to turn to the enemy's favor???

I'll stand.

Picking up the sword point from the ground and hefting the shield upon my arm, I shouted to the Heavens.....

I'll stand for my God....

Will you?

Here's some interesting things from American Family Association......

2007 in Review: Attacks on Faith, Family and Freedom

by Jennifer Mesko, managing editor

'The game is on again in 2008, and our side had better show up.'

As 2007 draws to a close, California's Pacific Justice Institute has identified some of the worst instances of hostility toward faith, family and freedom.

"Values voters contained a lot of this nonsense by turning out strongly in 2004, but they went to sleep in 2006, and the moral-values agenda suffered. The game is on again in 2008, and our side had better show up."

The Top Ten offenses:

10. Red Cross refuses donations of Bibles to California fire victims.

9. California Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, with no children of her own, introduces legislation to ban spanking. She says she got the idea from a law professor at the University of San Francisco, who pointed to European bans on spanking.

8. U.S. Supreme Court refuses to review the city of Oakland's removal of an employee flier because the term "natural family" was deemed "homophobic."

7. More than 100 students suspended in Sacramento-area schools for wearing T-shirts that quote a Bible verse.

6. Public high schools in California have Cross-Dressing Day as part of School Spirit week.

5. School attempts to censor God out of private yearbook ad. To wish their son well upon his graduation, his parents submitted an ad that included the phrase "may God bless your life."

4. Yolo County Clerk (California) issues "Certificate of Inequality" to gay and lesbian couples on Valentine's Day. The certificate says, "I issue this Certificate of Inequality to you because your choice of marriage partner displeases some people whose displeasure is, apparently, more important than principles of equality." The certificate concludes with, "May the God of your choice bless you."

3. Sacramento Public Library Authority Board refuses to ban Internet access to pornography. Viewing of this state-subsidized access to pornography is in areas where children are present.

2. Federal hate-crimes bill (HR 1592), which could criminalize speech by clergy. In a mischievous attempt to have it signed into law, the bill was later inserted into a massive, unrelated Defense appropriations bill.

1. California governor signs SB 777, which allows public school children to arbitrarily choose whether they should be treated as a boy or a girl.

"While many of the dubious 'winners' come from California, they are representative of incidents across the country," said Bruce Hausknecht, judicial analyst for Focus Action. "There seems to be no end of stories of parental rights, religious freedoms, and freedom of speech and association being sacrificed at the altar of liberal political correctness.

"Christians should especially take note of the importance of taking part in the political process. We say we want to influence the culture for Christ and raise up our children in the fear of the Lord, and our Constitution guarantees us the rights to do so. But those rights are only as secure as our willingness to resist attempts to take them away, whether they come from the halls of Congress, our state legislatures or our schools."

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Visit the Pacific Justice Institute Web site.

(NOTE: Referral to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family [or myself] is for informational purposes only and does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)