"But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants."' And he arose and came to his father." (Luke 15:17-20a ESV)
There is no time frame given in which the prodigal son is slopping the pigs, wishing for food that is only fit for them and their substance. This story is often used to help understand the process of salvation; we realized that we have sinned and are absent from the relationship with our Father, The repenting sinner turns with firmness and resolution from the bondage of Satan and his worldly lusts and returns to God through prayer...."notwithstanding fears and discouragements," Matthew Henry says. He returns to take the servant's role, to the Father's rejoicement and restoration to his place in the home.
But, as I have travelled this journey, slopping for the pigs who are placed so much more highly than myself in this world (who are of the world) I wonder if God didn't intend for the message contained there to stop with the repentant sinner and the joyful celebration of his return home. There is so much more contained within the story of his conversion. Pastor Jim Combs, of the River of Faith, brought another context a few Sundays ago, about the elder son and the prodigal and how that should be reflected between mature and newborn Christians (I'd recommend listening to it www.hissalt.net). But, even there I think lies a true message, but not the only one......
The world will, as the lesson clearly teaches, fool you into its embrace and promise wealth, glory, and relationship....until what you have to sustain the illusions is gone and then it will cast you upon the rocks of despair, leaving you valued less than the pigs, who are quite content to wallow around in fith and muck. Even those who have 'backsliden' from what they know is true.
What kind of home did he leave? Apparently a wealthy and prosperous one where he had experience with independence and authority, for he demanded his inheritance and was not stopped from leaving. Maybe there was a disagreement he had with his elder brother, the mother, or even the father...whatever the reason, he rejected the 'nature' of his home and went into voluntary exile. Steeped in selfish gratification, he held to a 'bondage and gloom' image of what home was like instead of its truest picture until even the illusion of such denial came to break under the Truth of reality; the world didn't want him unless he had wealth to give and in the 'empty, desolate, withered, perishing' (Jamieson, Faussett and Brown) situation he found himself in, the Truth found him once again and reminded him that even the lowest in the household were treated better than what the world offered him when nothing else was left that he had to give.
He came to 'himself', not as if he had gone mad but back to the person, I think, he was when he lived in his father's house. A house filled with peace, wealth, freedom, authority and dignity even for the servants of the family. A warm and living reality that breaks the bonds of his disillusionment and gives him the resolve to journey home.....he envisions the initial meeting and what he would say....and goes home, expecting only enough grace to become a servant under that remembered roof.
So heartening is even that lowly status, to serve those he once called family, is enough to make him journey non-stop back to the country of his birth, back to the home he had rejected. Hungry growled within his stomach, his feet were sore and dirty from the walking, and his heart was tired of the deceptions with which he had lived with for so long.
He was broken, yet he journeyed to become nothing more than a servant in his father's house.
Even when life doesn't work, our efforts are nothing more than dirt thrown into the fierceness of the wind to come back and cover us once more and the remembered grace of our Father's house becomes the only sustaining hope that we have left to push us back to our feet, back to our senses, and back home to be nothing more than servants placed in our own home to be the laborers for those who enjoy what we once did...even then, that hope remains.
There is no flipping back and forth for the prodigal; no question in his mind that his father will accept his request, either through pity or compassion. There is that assurance that, even with what he had done, squandering his inheritance, rejecting his home, and now coming back to his father smelling of filth and stained with the dust of his journey. He expects nothing more than his rightful due; to be a servant, nothing more.
As I got home last night from work, being touched once more by the grace of God and His love....oh my God....His love for even the lowest in His house....being broken again and lifting my hands high even in that humbling, that pain, and realizing how far I have come....servanthood is a dream to what I have come from....I came back to that "Amazing Grace" lyric...."I once was dead but now I live....now my life, to You I give.", I looked at the mail; the packet from Reverend Doctor John Gotberg arrived. As I read the commission that appointed and annointed me as an Ordained Community Chaplain, I felt that assurance that even in my Father's house....servants are fed and well-treated. In my Father's house.
In my Father's house, even the suffering is preferable to the illusionary happiness of the world. In my Father's house, even the hired servants are cared for and treated well. In my Father's house, once I had rejected and walked away from, there is an assurance I will be given an opportunity to be there...in whatever capacity...but I will be in my Father's house!
Even if I spend my life toiling away, indentured not as a son to a Father but as a servant to the family, I will be better off in my Father's house than what the world, absent from that home, would allow me to do.
In the group I've never felt I belonged to, unworthy and unqualified for the task and the scope of the mission God has complied these mighty giants to do in and for the Kingdom, it is far far better to be the lowly servant than to be absent from their presense. If I can do nothing more than perform the mudane task of a servant, in my Father's house, I will be far better treated than what the world could give me.
I don't know if I'll ever reach home; I'm faminished, tired, bruised and filthy with the illusionary stain that seems to never wash off ...........like a rape victim, I can't shower enough or be clean enough to seem to remove the stain, the filth of what the world has done to me.....but even if I don't make it home, the vision of what it will be like shall sustain me till that point I cannot go on.
And when I lie collasped in the sand, I'll try once again to get back up and continue...so that I can be a servant in my Father's house...........for they are treated better than the world offers, this lies within my heart to move me to move, get up when I want to stay down, and sustains me in my hunger...such small hope, such a small faith......
Even faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.....
And I think I can see my father's house just over where the valley floor ends.....
A few more steps, and I'll be home.
Showing posts with label Jim Combs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jim Combs. Show all posts
Friday, May 1
Sunday, February 8
Simply following....
“Until I get there, concentrate on reading Scripture in worship, giving encouraging messages, and teaching people. Don't neglect the gift which you received through prophecy when the spiritual leaders placed their hands on you to ordain you. Practice these things. Devote your life to them so that everyone can see your progress. Focus on your life and your teaching. Continue to do what I've told you. If you do this, you will save yourself and those who hear you.” (1 Timothy 4:13-16 GW)
One of my favorite songs is a relatively new one by the band Newsboys called “Stay strong”. It speaks of the journey I embarked upon that day back in May of 2008 when I left my ex, who’s journey was going in the opposite direction from mine. Since that time, I’ve faced eviction, alienation, condemnation, and my God on a level that I’d aspired to but feared none the less. Darkness cannot hide in the light of the One and neither can the sinful nature of man. It seems, the closer I get to God in relationship, the more disruptive and catastrophic my life has become. At times, I’ve wondered about my ability to be a child of God, of changing the sinful broken nature I have in my old self. I have been brought to the places where I’ve realized the truthfulness of that; I cannot change who I am….I can only grow in the realization of what was given that day in February 2004; a new man.
“You’re in the moment now when all you’ve been blessed with is not enough. Here’s where the ground gets loose. Here’s where the devils call your bluff.” There have been times in the last eight months that I’ve been so abundantly blessed both by friends known and other in the brethren of Christ who I have not had the honor of knowing as well. Two cars, financial support to move into a place, hands and feet searching in prayer for the blessings of the Lord to come upon me and the assurance that the Body ‘has my back’. Unquestioningly and with powerful effect.
But the crisis’s kept coming, kept falling into my life as if there was a vendetta against me; as if the devil, knowing he’s lost another, would rob the purpose to which God has called me and the effects of such purpose.
Pastor Jim Combs, of The River of Faith church, told us of a story. One John Eglin, a Methodist Elder, walked through sixteen feet (more or less) of snow one wintery Sunday to his church, predicting that there wouldn’t be many of the congregation there. True to his prediction, only twelve parishioners showed up…not even the Pastor came that day. In addition to the regulars was one thirteen year old visitor.
Eglin gave the sermon, speaking of everything that he knew of God and His grace….speaking for all of about ten minutes.
Charles Spurgeon said that it was at that service that he realized the love of Christ and accepted the offer of salvation. Spurgeon, one of the greatest theologians of the 19th century, started his journey one wintery Sunday because an Elder judged it important enough to trudge six miles to church for service.
I have found that pursuing God’s purpose for my life; spoken in the massive worship hall at Willow Creek Community Church so many years ago, is nothing more than the melting of faith, hope, love, joy, compassion, and redemption together by the fire of God’s Holy Spirit and cannot be recognized upon the achievements and accolades of man, but rather is given up as a burnt offering to God far from the light of day…secretly and in confidence.
As the Newsboys’ song goes, “Get up, there’s further to go. Get up, there’s more to be done. Get up, the witness is sure. Get up, this race can be won.”
We can be what we are redeemed to be. But, thhere is the wisdom of the devil, who knows well my faults and my weaknesses and how to draw my eyes away from the prize, that eternal hope manifested in a life lived for purpose, lived for God’s glory and nothing more.
We will never be fully what we were intended to be here, redeemed and restored, until Jesus comes again. Our lot is to keep going forward, keep growing closer to God in this life; for the eternal future we're promised.
I heard a pastor once say that we can make ourselves unfit for service to God; unsuitable for our purpose to which God set His hand to far before we were born. In those cases, this pastor said, God has a backup….someone else to send in your stead.
I wonder if that is true. God surely intended the pastor of that Methodist church to preach the word as he had every Sunday for however long he was there. Or did He?
Would Spurgeon have listened and understood the love of the Father in the hour long sermon the pastor probably would’ve given?
In the past few months, God has brought me to the razor edge of the cliff as if beckoning me to surrender to fate and jump, into the waiting darkness that waited at the bottom of that impossibly high mountain top. I’ve come to experience the sensation of being at that pivot point, between the safety of being able to pull back and the inevitable surrender to gravity. It has been that frightening, that troubling to my faith.
Each time that pivot point seemed to stretch longer and longer into impossible eternity…..and each time, I surrendered to what I believed was ‘fate’, the pull of gravity into the headlong fall into oblivion. I never hit the ground, but felt the grasping and sure hands of the Father saying, “Trust.”
Blake Crawford, a BIC from Naples Florida, who belongs to a group “Men Mentoring Men” on Facebook, posted a topic, Thinking Theologically, and quotes from Finding God by Dr. Larry Crabb:
"Theology becomes rich only when it survives the onslaught of pain. And sound theology leads us through our pain to the fuller experience of Christ, and therefore of hope and love and joy. The gripping message of the Bible will never be fully heard in a library. “Dr. Crabb states, “In order to catch the pulse of Scripture and hear the heartbeat of God, we must be actively grappling with the overwhelming reality of what life is like outside the Garden of Eden. If we numb our souls to the ongoing struggles with sin and disappointment that fallen people living in a fallen world experience, then our time in the Bible will yield puffy knowledge rather than liberating truth."
In the fiery heat of the trials I’ve faced; with my finances, with my children, and with my ex….there has been a steady, if not jerky, advancement in God’s designed purpose for me. Theologically, my faith is stronger and more refined. In the tempest of the storm, I have found realized reliance upon God…not for my purpose, but for His.
It is why I don’t believe that God puts a ‘pinch hitter’ in the place of the one He’s purposed to the call, nor that we can (if we truly cry out, ‘Lord, send me!’) thwart His plan. He is a patient God, loving and vengeful at both times, and knows His children to a degree more than the enemy can ever realize. He will wait, and He will poke us into fulfilling our commitment.
It may take years, or a matter of months, but He will prevail.
As I progress from the relatively easy forgiveness and redemption with my ex-wife into the more harrowing journey with my brother, I find it easier to look at to where God is leading me to go than worrying about my own involvement over its accomplishment.
The complex has become simple, the simple has become common. And I am far from being the scholar like Spurgeon, Crabb, or a host of others. I have a long way to go yet, but I feel the pressing tick of the clock against those who have yet to realize the love of the Father and the Son.
Though I fear, I walk with an eagerness that would’ve immobilized me less than a year ago. Though I worry about the outcome, I know that I will jump…..and trust my God all the way to the bottom, if need be.
For that too would serve God's purpose...
Focused on my life and my purpose, I struggle to bring it into mirrorship of God's Son.
Brought into the harsh light of redeeming grace.
One of my favorite songs is a relatively new one by the band Newsboys called “Stay strong”. It speaks of the journey I embarked upon that day back in May of 2008 when I left my ex, who’s journey was going in the opposite direction from mine. Since that time, I’ve faced eviction, alienation, condemnation, and my God on a level that I’d aspired to but feared none the less. Darkness cannot hide in the light of the One and neither can the sinful nature of man. It seems, the closer I get to God in relationship, the more disruptive and catastrophic my life has become. At times, I’ve wondered about my ability to be a child of God, of changing the sinful broken nature I have in my old self. I have been brought to the places where I’ve realized the truthfulness of that; I cannot change who I am….I can only grow in the realization of what was given that day in February 2004; a new man.
“You’re in the moment now when all you’ve been blessed with is not enough. Here’s where the ground gets loose. Here’s where the devils call your bluff.” There have been times in the last eight months that I’ve been so abundantly blessed both by friends known and other in the brethren of Christ who I have not had the honor of knowing as well. Two cars, financial support to move into a place, hands and feet searching in prayer for the blessings of the Lord to come upon me and the assurance that the Body ‘has my back’. Unquestioningly and with powerful effect.
But the crisis’s kept coming, kept falling into my life as if there was a vendetta against me; as if the devil, knowing he’s lost another, would rob the purpose to which God has called me and the effects of such purpose.
Pastor Jim Combs, of The River of Faith church, told us of a story. One John Eglin, a Methodist Elder, walked through sixteen feet (more or less) of snow one wintery Sunday to his church, predicting that there wouldn’t be many of the congregation there. True to his prediction, only twelve parishioners showed up…not even the Pastor came that day. In addition to the regulars was one thirteen year old visitor.
Eglin gave the sermon, speaking of everything that he knew of God and His grace….speaking for all of about ten minutes.
Charles Spurgeon said that it was at that service that he realized the love of Christ and accepted the offer of salvation. Spurgeon, one of the greatest theologians of the 19th century, started his journey one wintery Sunday because an Elder judged it important enough to trudge six miles to church for service.
I have found that pursuing God’s purpose for my life; spoken in the massive worship hall at Willow Creek Community Church so many years ago, is nothing more than the melting of faith, hope, love, joy, compassion, and redemption together by the fire of God’s Holy Spirit and cannot be recognized upon the achievements and accolades of man, but rather is given up as a burnt offering to God far from the light of day…secretly and in confidence.
As the Newsboys’ song goes, “Get up, there’s further to go. Get up, there’s more to be done. Get up, the witness is sure. Get up, this race can be won.”
We can be what we are redeemed to be. But, thhere is the wisdom of the devil, who knows well my faults and my weaknesses and how to draw my eyes away from the prize, that eternal hope manifested in a life lived for purpose, lived for God’s glory and nothing more.
We will never be fully what we were intended to be here, redeemed and restored, until Jesus comes again. Our lot is to keep going forward, keep growing closer to God in this life; for the eternal future we're promised.
I heard a pastor once say that we can make ourselves unfit for service to God; unsuitable for our purpose to which God set His hand to far before we were born. In those cases, this pastor said, God has a backup….someone else to send in your stead.
I wonder if that is true. God surely intended the pastor of that Methodist church to preach the word as he had every Sunday for however long he was there. Or did He?
Would Spurgeon have listened and understood the love of the Father in the hour long sermon the pastor probably would’ve given?
In the past few months, God has brought me to the razor edge of the cliff as if beckoning me to surrender to fate and jump, into the waiting darkness that waited at the bottom of that impossibly high mountain top. I’ve come to experience the sensation of being at that pivot point, between the safety of being able to pull back and the inevitable surrender to gravity. It has been that frightening, that troubling to my faith.
Each time that pivot point seemed to stretch longer and longer into impossible eternity…..and each time, I surrendered to what I believed was ‘fate’, the pull of gravity into the headlong fall into oblivion. I never hit the ground, but felt the grasping and sure hands of the Father saying, “Trust.”
Blake Crawford, a BIC from Naples Florida, who belongs to a group “Men Mentoring Men” on Facebook, posted a topic, Thinking Theologically, and quotes from Finding God by Dr. Larry Crabb:
"Theology becomes rich only when it survives the onslaught of pain. And sound theology leads us through our pain to the fuller experience of Christ, and therefore of hope and love and joy. The gripping message of the Bible will never be fully heard in a library. “Dr. Crabb states, “In order to catch the pulse of Scripture and hear the heartbeat of God, we must be actively grappling with the overwhelming reality of what life is like outside the Garden of Eden. If we numb our souls to the ongoing struggles with sin and disappointment that fallen people living in a fallen world experience, then our time in the Bible will yield puffy knowledge rather than liberating truth."
In the fiery heat of the trials I’ve faced; with my finances, with my children, and with my ex….there has been a steady, if not jerky, advancement in God’s designed purpose for me. Theologically, my faith is stronger and more refined. In the tempest of the storm, I have found realized reliance upon God…not for my purpose, but for His.
It is why I don’t believe that God puts a ‘pinch hitter’ in the place of the one He’s purposed to the call, nor that we can (if we truly cry out, ‘Lord, send me!’) thwart His plan. He is a patient God, loving and vengeful at both times, and knows His children to a degree more than the enemy can ever realize. He will wait, and He will poke us into fulfilling our commitment.
It may take years, or a matter of months, but He will prevail.
As I progress from the relatively easy forgiveness and redemption with my ex-wife into the more harrowing journey with my brother, I find it easier to look at to where God is leading me to go than worrying about my own involvement over its accomplishment.
The complex has become simple, the simple has become common. And I am far from being the scholar like Spurgeon, Crabb, or a host of others. I have a long way to go yet, but I feel the pressing tick of the clock against those who have yet to realize the love of the Father and the Son.
Though I fear, I walk with an eagerness that would’ve immobilized me less than a year ago. Though I worry about the outcome, I know that I will jump…..and trust my God all the way to the bottom, if need be.
For that too would serve God's purpose...
Focused on my life and my purpose, I struggle to bring it into mirrorship of God's Son.
Brought into the harsh light of redeeming grace.
Monday, January 26
Remember.....
"Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons. Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when the LORD said to me, 'Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.'" Deuteronomy 4:9-10 NASB
Moses, arguably the greatest of the Old Testament leaders that Israel had ever known, stood before the gathered nation at the end of its forty years of wandering most likely with the River Jordan at his back and the displayed splendor of the Promised Land decked out before their eager eyes. He summed up the forty years of the desert journey with one word.
Remember.
Everything. Don't forget having to gather up your homes and move at the behest of the cloud by day and the fire by night. Don't forget setting up your homes when it stopped, not knowing how long you would be camped there before moving on again. Don't forget how God provided manna, not in plenty but in abundance to the daily need, and remember the other forms of substance that He gave.
Remember the foolishness of your elders, all who have passed away on this forty year trek because of their sin before God.
Remember what it took to get here.
And don't forget what passionate worship and ardent relationship with the Most High God feels like…..just like when you stood before Him at Horeb.
For his leadership was at an end and another, Joshua, would take his place.
Pastor Jim Combs spoke of Moses this Sunday, after a brief and precise comment regarding the moment of his birth (where the Egyptian Pharaoh had decreed the death of each Hebrew first born because he was fearful of the growing population that was out sizing his own) and relating it to the President's latest 'decree' of renewing the giving of tax payer dollars for other nations' to perform abortions.
I've written a three-page blog about that, but I will probably never post it. Most Americans don't want to hear it, and a majority of the "Christian" community will argue that I am being 'intolerant' and 'unloving'.
If you want to read it, you can always ask me for it…..with that understanding that I am not just crying out about other's inactions and sinful pleasures…but am taking myself to task for it as well.
I would recommend (though not for the comment of President Barack Obama's latest decree and the impact it will have on this nation and the world) that you go to www.hissalt.net and listen to the inspired and challenging teachings of Pastor Jim of the River of Faith church (Faith Baptist and The River combined).
Though Pastor Jim spoke of Moses and how he went from 'degreed' to 'nobody' and then became God's servant, it wasn't that which impacted me the most this weekend.
A BIC read an devotional that referenced the Deuteronomy verse…..and with Pastor Jim's teaching, the impact God wanted His word to have upon me….mixed up with Scott Engelman's teaching on the all-too-familiar 'nice guy' complex….brought me to the uncomfortable place that I would have never thought I would be; to the point where it is not man who stands in the way of my answering God's call to purpose nor God deciding (as I've been told a few times) that maybe I've 'worked myself' out of being able to serve (though there are some who feel that such is a probability).
No, as I told one of the elders of the church as I knelt down at the altar this Sunday mid-morning…..I've known God's purpose for me since I accepted the grace to come back into His arms, spoken by God to me as Gene Appel stood upon the large stage at Willow Creek Church in Chicago and pursued full-force though I'd often wind up smashing into brutal walls of humanity's judgment…….no, it has been me who is no longer pursuing the Call, for I have decided that it is going to cost too much, hurt too much, and quite frankly, I've had more than my share of such 'humanistic' Christianity to last me a lifetime.
The cost of purposefully filling my calling would cost me what I felt would be too much.
I still do.
"But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt?"" Exodus 3: 11 GWT
The once great and powerful Moses, son of the daughter of the Pharaoh –mighty prince of the empire that Egypt was, was felled by an impulsive act of abusive power against his adopted people, inciting the wrath of the Pharaoh on down….a man who, if God had revealed Himself to him in such a state, would've rolled out papyrus after papyrus of degreed schooling, knowledgeable arts, and a hefty smattering of other 'noble' pursuits. Instead, as a result of his exile, tending a flock that was not his own, Moses trembled at the sight of God and fell to his knees…."No, I'm not the one you want…."
Who, even with the declaration of a God he rightfully feared speaking affirmation to him, "I will be with you", he still hemmed and hawed about facing the mighty empire of Egypt with a staff and God's anointing. To speak the words that God would give him to speak……
Yeah, I'm there.
A wealth of understanding, of passion, and of humility….knowing that I cannot speak my own words but merely reflect upon the hearts that God has directed into my path the words He would utter…..I am afraid that I don't know enough, am not 'righteous' enough, and am judged too much to be a worthy vessel of the Father's shepherding call…..
My wounds from the 'mega' church environment, where it is the corporate model that fuels the glittering candlesticks and fancy productions…where it is less about what you know than who you know….those hurt, especially when you've ran happily and joyfully into your Pastor's office with the news of purpose realized and been told…gently…that such as you probably are just wishful thinking.
To find a place in which to work the purpose, living in the fear of not being capable enough or worthy enough to shepherd the saints of the Church in worship, praise, and teaching…..remembering every mistake and every misquote….and what did it get you. A marriage broken and bruised, resentment and fear over what such shattering would do to the prestige of the 'Call'.
To be brought to a place where doing what was right cost you everything; a daughter living with her birth mother because of the disruption such as a marriage broken will do, a son increasingly disrupted because of the distance moved from the familiar, and the 'golden' reputation that is the lifeblood (at least I was informed by one dear friend, a pastor of a new church) of the minister destroyed…..
The financial crisis as I was overwhelmed by the sheer cost of maintaining a home I could not afford to rent, but had not choice but to try. The lost of a car, taken down by an aged alternator I couldn't afford to fix, and the late (then too far overdue) rent…..the frustration of finding a new home….the despair of such trials.
Then the few among the many who stepped out in major ways to help me; providing funds to move, funds to buy a new car, and to help me along the first stages of renewing my fragile faith……
And then, as I was slowly and 'realistically' building this new self, reconstructing the home lost and building a real budget to stick to; disaster once again. A rock cracked the housing of the transmission and two days later the car quit. 1,700 plus to fix. And me with exactly 200.00 in rent set back for such repairs.
The brothers who stepped out once again, offering help but what seemed not enough to meet the overwhelming need. The cries to the Lord, the pleading to be heard….and at the darkest of the night, God saying, "Here, this was the plan from the beginning….I will provide." A BIC stepping out in faith, giving me funds to purchase another car and then suddenly, the other BsIC's helping funds were enough…just enough….to bring the car to a road worthy shape so that the high mileage I drive (1 hour and 15 mins one way) would not strike it down before I could renew my budget and my financial stewardship.
The disruption of the 'nice guy', identified in so much that I do…and how its hindered the Call to the degree that I've been ready to surrender, to give the 'devil his due'.
Pastor Jim and his teaching on Sunday……calling me back to that purpose in reckonizing my reasons for stopping pursuit….
Fear.
Utter fear at the knowledge that such movement will cost, for wounding and battering of those called to ministry is high and fierce…all the pastors, leaders, mentors, and Barnabas' I've been graced to know have such stories…..and my unwillingness to pay such a price.
And Sunday afternoon, spending time thinking of all these things and realizing in the shadow of the Cross that bore a man who was fully God and fully man through the pain of mankind's love of self-preservation and denial for me; for you; for the whole of humanity…..
Realizing that I stopped chasing that purpose…because I wasn't remembering.
All the things God has taught me in the past seven, eight, nine, and even the last few years.
Redemption is but an acknowledgment away…..my ex-wife reading and seeming to understand the power of forgiving oneself, accepting God's forgiveness, and realizing the truth of another's without gain, without renewal, and with humility.
Power exists not in only listening to God's voice calling but moving within the direction of that voice; regardless of the doubts in your head, borne of a life told lies too and a situation that seems to be impossible to overcome…but moving anyway.
And looking into the pride of accomplishment and realizing the foolishness of 'nice guy' who has deceived you into believing in the painful attempts to deal with the past wounds that some were dealt with shallowly when it was thought they were well dug out.
And realizing the simplicity of the life I've been given to lead and how I've not dug the proper well for which to reach the nourishment of God's powerful love and mercy….
"Two things have I asked of You [O Lord]; deny them not to me before I die: Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny You and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor and steal, and so profane the name of my God." Proverbs 30:9 AMP
As we face a world where the salvation of a people who were killed 5 million strong during a 30 year reign of terror, 10 million imprisoned and wounded for life is purchased with the faithful service of 3,000 of our own is the news of the day and yet the 161.7 million who were snuffed out at the behest of convenience and lack of voice are not to be heard in the sorrow of our souls, except to increase funding to continue to do such murder in the sake of a valueless society…..where a people have lost 229,00 of their own and have forgotten those 5 million that lay buried beneath the soil of their land…..
A voice is crying in the wilderness…….
REPENT! REPENT! For the Kingdom of God is at hand!!!!
It takes only one person of conscience to prevent tyranny from consuming a people…..
Moses was that voice in the face of Egypt's tyranny,
Jesus still is that voice…….
And we are His servants………….
What are you speaking today, regardless of the fear and the cost?
What are you remembering?
"There are many persons ready to do what is right because in their hearts they know it is right. But they hesitate, waiting for the other fellow to make the first move. ... The minute a person whose word means a great deal dares to take the openhearted and courageous way, many others follow."--Marian Anderson
Moses, arguably the greatest of the Old Testament leaders that Israel had ever known, stood before the gathered nation at the end of its forty years of wandering most likely with the River Jordan at his back and the displayed splendor of the Promised Land decked out before their eager eyes. He summed up the forty years of the desert journey with one word.
Remember.
Everything. Don't forget having to gather up your homes and move at the behest of the cloud by day and the fire by night. Don't forget setting up your homes when it stopped, not knowing how long you would be camped there before moving on again. Don't forget how God provided manna, not in plenty but in abundance to the daily need, and remember the other forms of substance that He gave.
Remember the foolishness of your elders, all who have passed away on this forty year trek because of their sin before God.
Remember what it took to get here.
And don't forget what passionate worship and ardent relationship with the Most High God feels like…..just like when you stood before Him at Horeb.
For his leadership was at an end and another, Joshua, would take his place.
Pastor Jim Combs spoke of Moses this Sunday, after a brief and precise comment regarding the moment of his birth (where the Egyptian Pharaoh had decreed the death of each Hebrew first born because he was fearful of the growing population that was out sizing his own) and relating it to the President's latest 'decree' of renewing the giving of tax payer dollars for other nations' to perform abortions.
I've written a three-page blog about that, but I will probably never post it. Most Americans don't want to hear it, and a majority of the "Christian" community will argue that I am being 'intolerant' and 'unloving'.
If you want to read it, you can always ask me for it…..with that understanding that I am not just crying out about other's inactions and sinful pleasures…but am taking myself to task for it as well.
I would recommend (though not for the comment of President Barack Obama's latest decree and the impact it will have on this nation and the world) that you go to www.hissalt.net and listen to the inspired and challenging teachings of Pastor Jim of the River of Faith church (Faith Baptist and The River combined).
Though Pastor Jim spoke of Moses and how he went from 'degreed' to 'nobody' and then became God's servant, it wasn't that which impacted me the most this weekend.
A BIC read an devotional that referenced the Deuteronomy verse…..and with Pastor Jim's teaching, the impact God wanted His word to have upon me….mixed up with Scott Engelman's teaching on the all-too-familiar 'nice guy' complex….brought me to the uncomfortable place that I would have never thought I would be; to the point where it is not man who stands in the way of my answering God's call to purpose nor God deciding (as I've been told a few times) that maybe I've 'worked myself' out of being able to serve (though there are some who feel that such is a probability).
No, as I told one of the elders of the church as I knelt down at the altar this Sunday mid-morning…..I've known God's purpose for me since I accepted the grace to come back into His arms, spoken by God to me as Gene Appel stood upon the large stage at Willow Creek Church in Chicago and pursued full-force though I'd often wind up smashing into brutal walls of humanity's judgment…….no, it has been me who is no longer pursuing the Call, for I have decided that it is going to cost too much, hurt too much, and quite frankly, I've had more than my share of such 'humanistic' Christianity to last me a lifetime.
The cost of purposefully filling my calling would cost me what I felt would be too much.
I still do.
"But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt?"" Exodus 3: 11 GWT
The once great and powerful Moses, son of the daughter of the Pharaoh –mighty prince of the empire that Egypt was, was felled by an impulsive act of abusive power against his adopted people, inciting the wrath of the Pharaoh on down….a man who, if God had revealed Himself to him in such a state, would've rolled out papyrus after papyrus of degreed schooling, knowledgeable arts, and a hefty smattering of other 'noble' pursuits. Instead, as a result of his exile, tending a flock that was not his own, Moses trembled at the sight of God and fell to his knees…."No, I'm not the one you want…."
Who, even with the declaration of a God he rightfully feared speaking affirmation to him, "I will be with you", he still hemmed and hawed about facing the mighty empire of Egypt with a staff and God's anointing. To speak the words that God would give him to speak……
Yeah, I'm there.
A wealth of understanding, of passion, and of humility….knowing that I cannot speak my own words but merely reflect upon the hearts that God has directed into my path the words He would utter…..I am afraid that I don't know enough, am not 'righteous' enough, and am judged too much to be a worthy vessel of the Father's shepherding call…..
My wounds from the 'mega' church environment, where it is the corporate model that fuels the glittering candlesticks and fancy productions…where it is less about what you know than who you know….those hurt, especially when you've ran happily and joyfully into your Pastor's office with the news of purpose realized and been told…gently…that such as you probably are just wishful thinking.
To find a place in which to work the purpose, living in the fear of not being capable enough or worthy enough to shepherd the saints of the Church in worship, praise, and teaching…..remembering every mistake and every misquote….and what did it get you. A marriage broken and bruised, resentment and fear over what such shattering would do to the prestige of the 'Call'.
To be brought to a place where doing what was right cost you everything; a daughter living with her birth mother because of the disruption such as a marriage broken will do, a son increasingly disrupted because of the distance moved from the familiar, and the 'golden' reputation that is the lifeblood (at least I was informed by one dear friend, a pastor of a new church) of the minister destroyed…..
The financial crisis as I was overwhelmed by the sheer cost of maintaining a home I could not afford to rent, but had not choice but to try. The lost of a car, taken down by an aged alternator I couldn't afford to fix, and the late (then too far overdue) rent…..the frustration of finding a new home….the despair of such trials.
Then the few among the many who stepped out in major ways to help me; providing funds to move, funds to buy a new car, and to help me along the first stages of renewing my fragile faith……
And then, as I was slowly and 'realistically' building this new self, reconstructing the home lost and building a real budget to stick to; disaster once again. A rock cracked the housing of the transmission and two days later the car quit. 1,700 plus to fix. And me with exactly 200.00 in rent set back for such repairs.
The brothers who stepped out once again, offering help but what seemed not enough to meet the overwhelming need. The cries to the Lord, the pleading to be heard….and at the darkest of the night, God saying, "Here, this was the plan from the beginning….I will provide." A BIC stepping out in faith, giving me funds to purchase another car and then suddenly, the other BsIC's helping funds were enough…just enough….to bring the car to a road worthy shape so that the high mileage I drive (1 hour and 15 mins one way) would not strike it down before I could renew my budget and my financial stewardship.
The disruption of the 'nice guy', identified in so much that I do…and how its hindered the Call to the degree that I've been ready to surrender, to give the 'devil his due'.
Pastor Jim and his teaching on Sunday……calling me back to that purpose in reckonizing my reasons for stopping pursuit….
Fear.
Utter fear at the knowledge that such movement will cost, for wounding and battering of those called to ministry is high and fierce…all the pastors, leaders, mentors, and Barnabas' I've been graced to know have such stories…..and my unwillingness to pay such a price.
And Sunday afternoon, spending time thinking of all these things and realizing in the shadow of the Cross that bore a man who was fully God and fully man through the pain of mankind's love of self-preservation and denial for me; for you; for the whole of humanity…..
Realizing that I stopped chasing that purpose…because I wasn't remembering.
All the things God has taught me in the past seven, eight, nine, and even the last few years.
Redemption is but an acknowledgment away…..my ex-wife reading and seeming to understand the power of forgiving oneself, accepting God's forgiveness, and realizing the truth of another's without gain, without renewal, and with humility.
Power exists not in only listening to God's voice calling but moving within the direction of that voice; regardless of the doubts in your head, borne of a life told lies too and a situation that seems to be impossible to overcome…but moving anyway.
And looking into the pride of accomplishment and realizing the foolishness of 'nice guy' who has deceived you into believing in the painful attempts to deal with the past wounds that some were dealt with shallowly when it was thought they were well dug out.
And realizing the simplicity of the life I've been given to lead and how I've not dug the proper well for which to reach the nourishment of God's powerful love and mercy….
"Two things have I asked of You [O Lord]; deny them not to me before I die: Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny You and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor and steal, and so profane the name of my God." Proverbs 30:9 AMP
As we face a world where the salvation of a people who were killed 5 million strong during a 30 year reign of terror, 10 million imprisoned and wounded for life is purchased with the faithful service of 3,000 of our own is the news of the day and yet the 161.7 million who were snuffed out at the behest of convenience and lack of voice are not to be heard in the sorrow of our souls, except to increase funding to continue to do such murder in the sake of a valueless society…..where a people have lost 229,00 of their own and have forgotten those 5 million that lay buried beneath the soil of their land…..
A voice is crying in the wilderness…….
REPENT! REPENT! For the Kingdom of God is at hand!!!!
It takes only one person of conscience to prevent tyranny from consuming a people…..
Moses was that voice in the face of Egypt's tyranny,
Jesus still is that voice…….
And we are His servants………….
What are you speaking today, regardless of the fear and the cost?
What are you remembering?
"There are many persons ready to do what is right because in their hearts they know it is right. But they hesitate, waiting for the other fellow to make the first move. ... The minute a person whose word means a great deal dares to take the openhearted and courageous way, many others follow."--Marian Anderson
Monday, November 17
A Firstborn with full birthrights!!
"The LORD said to her, "Two countries are in your womb. Two nations will go their separate ways from birth. One nation will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger." When the time came for her to give birth, she had twins. The first one born was red. His whole body was covered with hair, so they named him Esau [Hairy]. Afterwards, his brother was born with his hand holding on to Esau's heel, and so he was named Jacob [Heel]. Isaac was 60 years old when they were born. They grew up. Esau became an expert hunter, an outdoorsman. Jacob remained a quiet man, staying around the tents. Because Isaac liked to eat the meat of wild animals, he loved Esau. However, Rebekah loved Jacob. Once, Jacob was preparing a meal when Esau, exhausted, came in from outdoors. So Esau said to Jacob, "Let me have the whole pot of red stuff to eat-that red stuff-I'm exhausted." This is why he was called Edom. Jacob responded, "First, sell me your rights as firstborn." "I'm about to die." Esau said. "What good is my inheritance to me?" "First, swear an oath," Jacob said. So Esau swore an oath to him and sold him his rights as firstborn. Then Jacob gave Esau a meal of bread and lentils. He ate and drank, and then he got up and left. This is how Esau showed his contempt for his rights as firstborn." Genesis 25:23-34 (GWT)
I would recommend, if you have the opportunity, to go to www.hisriver.net and download the audio for last Sunday's sermon given by Pastor Jim Combs, jr. At first, as is usually the case with most preachers and ministers I meet and respect, they at first alienate me, then show me where my humanity alienated the powerful membership I can claim within the Body of Christ.
You see, Pastor Jim is the firstborn of his family and he spoke of the firstborn 'specialness' in both the Old and New Testaments. I was born the second, or third (depending on the story and who is telling it) in my family. The second, third, or anything passed the first really isn't all that special within the community mentioned in the Old Testament stories. The firstborns were everything....and got everything. The birthright, which was essentially everything the father had to leave, or at least the best of everything in abundance. And the blessing, essentially the father's spiritual passing on of the leadership of the family.
The firstborns were also recognized as important by God Himself. In Exodus 13:2, He santicified the firstborn...making them special. In Numbers 3:13, He called the firstborn hallowed (holy). In Numbers 8:18, there is a connection between the priesthood and the firstborn. In Numbers 18:16, God said that a special price was paid for the first born....a special redemption. And, the most important figure in the 'firstborn' hall of fame is Jesus Christ, firstborn child of Mary, as mentioned in Matthew 1:25.
Firstborns......who cares!!!!?
God apparently does and adapted a culture of an entire nation to reflect that special place for the firstborns. So, my older brother Larry---a missionary with the Navigators in Germany, is the firstborn of the our family and therefore was in line (at least by biblical standards) for the best of everything, and the blessing of the leadership of the family.
Being second-born isn't all it seems to be cracked up to be......oh, I know I still have the chance of salvation (taken) and the opportunity to do the Lord's work (which I currently am 'enroute' for), but gee, nothing like getting the top of the birthright and the blessing....leaving the 'droppings' for the rest of the family........at least, that was some of the thoughts passing through my head as I listened to this firstborn preach.....
and I wasn't too happy with his 'flaunting' of his status............
yes, I was jealous!
Pastor Jim wanted to let us know, not of his specialness (though, by discussion such was declared), but of why it is mentioned that Esau 'spurned' his inheritance.....he gave up all the specialness of the birthright AND the blessing...later in Genesis (27:35-38) Esau is cheated again by Isaac for the birthright...and Esau gets upset, because it is the second time! Maybe the birthright was something Esau wasn't willing to wait for....with his belly so hungry and famished it felt like he was near death.......but the birthright, in his mind, might have been the 'coup-de-grace' and would not leave him empty of anything...
And Isaac took it from him.......
In my mind, I was thinking....'serves him right! maybe the firstborns aren't so special after all......!"
Heck, there is even a 'special' church, mentioned in the chapter of Hebrews declaring Jesus' importance....chapter 12, verse 23 "to the general assembly (all of us) and church of the firstborn, which are written in Heaven (see even special notation!), and to God the judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect....." who got to sit with 'immeasurable' numbers of angels for this declaration.....
Of course, Pastor Jim was saving his zinger for just that particular moment.
Yeah, as the pastor began to speak, I whispered....."We've been duped!!"
Jesus, remember, is the highest of the firstborns.....the 'first' of the firstborns and worthy indeed of such status and distinction. But, as we know....in the study of God's word, we aren't seen once we are covered in the blood of this firstborn as sinful, broken human beings but as Christ Himself, who covers all of our sins by the death He died upon a cross of wood and iron.......and other verses in the text tell us that we inherit everything that Christ Himself is allotted by His Heavenly Father...............we become firstborns.
We are the Church of the Firstborn!!!!!
We are special, santicified by the declaration of God Himself! We are hallowed, made holy by the desire of God! We are connected to the priesthood...those who utter and remember God's words, covenants, and laws.........and especially....we are redeemed especially in a spectacular way by the first of the firstborn!!!!
Unfortunately, we are treating this birthright and blessing from our Heavenly Father much in the same way that Esau saw it. Our birthright is being cast aside for the immediate satisfaction of the moment....we give our birthright away when we walk into those things which are earthly and temporary....far in contrast to the eternal satisfaction and best of the best which await us...an eternal perspective.................
We surrender our birthright for that which we think will quench the thirst that parches our throats, we give it up for the sake of trying to quell that overwhelming need........immediate gratification for that which will not be satisfied on this earth until the 'First of the First" comes or we head to Him. The brokenness of this world cannot be filled by the 'red soup'.
We allow Satan to steal our birthright.....because we believe such things aren't as important as the immediate quelling of our thirst....it drives us insane with the parchness of our throat.
And we're letting him steal our blessings too.............
God has given us special status, special consideration and the ability to do greater things than we could have ever imagined.....so let's take our 'firstborn' status and do the things God intended us to do with our blessings and our birthright. As we declare ourselves the "Church of the Firstborns"....let us use our blessings to bless those outside the circle, and draw them into their birthrights under the authority and gifting of Jesus Christ Himself.
Let's not let the Devil convince us that we are about to die from thirst and need to sell out on our birthright as Firstborns under Christ.
There is a famous Christian song in which the chorus is….."Hold the fort, for I am coming, Jesus signals still; Wave the answer back to heaven, By Thy grace we will!"
Let's be those valiant warriors in God's Army holding the line until He comes upon that White Horse!!!!
Never give up, never surrender!
I would recommend, if you have the opportunity, to go to www.hisriver.net and download the audio for last Sunday's sermon given by Pastor Jim Combs, jr. At first, as is usually the case with most preachers and ministers I meet and respect, they at first alienate me, then show me where my humanity alienated the powerful membership I can claim within the Body of Christ.
You see, Pastor Jim is the firstborn of his family and he spoke of the firstborn 'specialness' in both the Old and New Testaments. I was born the second, or third (depending on the story and who is telling it) in my family. The second, third, or anything passed the first really isn't all that special within the community mentioned in the Old Testament stories. The firstborns were everything....and got everything. The birthright, which was essentially everything the father had to leave, or at least the best of everything in abundance. And the blessing, essentially the father's spiritual passing on of the leadership of the family.
The firstborns were also recognized as important by God Himself. In Exodus 13:2, He santicified the firstborn...making them special. In Numbers 3:13, He called the firstborn hallowed (holy). In Numbers 8:18, there is a connection between the priesthood and the firstborn. In Numbers 18:16, God said that a special price was paid for the first born....a special redemption. And, the most important figure in the 'firstborn' hall of fame is Jesus Christ, firstborn child of Mary, as mentioned in Matthew 1:25.
Firstborns......who cares!!!!?
God apparently does and adapted a culture of an entire nation to reflect that special place for the firstborns. So, my older brother Larry---a missionary with the Navigators in Germany, is the firstborn of the our family and therefore was in line (at least by biblical standards) for the best of everything, and the blessing of the leadership of the family.
Being second-born isn't all it seems to be cracked up to be......oh, I know I still have the chance of salvation (taken) and the opportunity to do the Lord's work (which I currently am 'enroute' for), but gee, nothing like getting the top of the birthright and the blessing....leaving the 'droppings' for the rest of the family........at least, that was some of the thoughts passing through my head as I listened to this firstborn preach.....
and I wasn't too happy with his 'flaunting' of his status............
yes, I was jealous!
Pastor Jim wanted to let us know, not of his specialness (though, by discussion such was declared), but of why it is mentioned that Esau 'spurned' his inheritance.....he gave up all the specialness of the birthright AND the blessing...later in Genesis (27:35-38) Esau is cheated again by Isaac for the birthright...and Esau gets upset, because it is the second time! Maybe the birthright was something Esau wasn't willing to wait for....with his belly so hungry and famished it felt like he was near death.......but the birthright, in his mind, might have been the 'coup-de-grace' and would not leave him empty of anything...
And Isaac took it from him.......
In my mind, I was thinking....'serves him right! maybe the firstborns aren't so special after all......!"
Heck, there is even a 'special' church, mentioned in the chapter of Hebrews declaring Jesus' importance....chapter 12, verse 23 "to the general assembly (all of us) and church of the firstborn, which are written in Heaven (see even special notation!), and to God the judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect....." who got to sit with 'immeasurable' numbers of angels for this declaration.....
Of course, Pastor Jim was saving his zinger for just that particular moment.
Yeah, as the pastor began to speak, I whispered....."We've been duped!!"
Jesus, remember, is the highest of the firstborns.....the 'first' of the firstborns and worthy indeed of such status and distinction. But, as we know....in the study of God's word, we aren't seen once we are covered in the blood of this firstborn as sinful, broken human beings but as Christ Himself, who covers all of our sins by the death He died upon a cross of wood and iron.......and other verses in the text tell us that we inherit everything that Christ Himself is allotted by His Heavenly Father...............we become firstborns.
We are the Church of the Firstborn!!!!!
We are special, santicified by the declaration of God Himself! We are hallowed, made holy by the desire of God! We are connected to the priesthood...those who utter and remember God's words, covenants, and laws.........and especially....we are redeemed especially in a spectacular way by the first of the firstborn!!!!
Unfortunately, we are treating this birthright and blessing from our Heavenly Father much in the same way that Esau saw it. Our birthright is being cast aside for the immediate satisfaction of the moment....we give our birthright away when we walk into those things which are earthly and temporary....far in contrast to the eternal satisfaction and best of the best which await us...an eternal perspective.................
We surrender our birthright for that which we think will quench the thirst that parches our throats, we give it up for the sake of trying to quell that overwhelming need........immediate gratification for that which will not be satisfied on this earth until the 'First of the First" comes or we head to Him. The brokenness of this world cannot be filled by the 'red soup'.
We allow Satan to steal our birthright.....because we believe such things aren't as important as the immediate quelling of our thirst....it drives us insane with the parchness of our throat.
And we're letting him steal our blessings too.............
God has given us special status, special consideration and the ability to do greater things than we could have ever imagined.....so let's take our 'firstborn' status and do the things God intended us to do with our blessings and our birthright. As we declare ourselves the "Church of the Firstborns"....let us use our blessings to bless those outside the circle, and draw them into their birthrights under the authority and gifting of Jesus Christ Himself.
Let's not let the Devil convince us that we are about to die from thirst and need to sell out on our birthright as Firstborns under Christ.
There is a famous Christian song in which the chorus is….."Hold the fort, for I am coming, Jesus signals still; Wave the answer back to heaven, By Thy grace we will!"
Let's be those valiant warriors in God's Army holding the line until He comes upon that White Horse!!!!
Never give up, never surrender!
Monday, November 3
A bit of Thomas in all of us.......
"Thomas, one of the twelve apostles, who was called Didymus, wasn't with them when Jesus came. The other disciples told him, 'We've seen the Lord.' Thomas told them, 'I refuse to believe this unless I see the nail marks in his hands, put my fingers into them, and put my hand into his side.' A week later Jesus' disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Even though the doors were locked, Jesus stood among them and said, 'Peace be with you!' Then Jesus said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Take your hand, and put it into my side. Stop doubting, and believe.' Thomas responded to Jesus, 'My Lord and my God!'" John 20:24-28 (GWT)
One of the 'painful' sermons, you know----those from which you can't rationalize or wish away, was given on Sunday past at The River church gathering at the Holly High School. Pastor Jim Combs, pastor of The River, The Rock, Faith Baptist, and (the story behind that is a interesting one), opened Thomas in a way that made me realize that I have more in common with 'The Doubter' than I thought, and more than I would have hoped. I, too, wait for my 'reality test' for my Savior.
Didymus, the other name for Thomas, translates from the Greek to mean "Twin". There is speculation among scholars that this meant Thomas had a biological twin, or that another one of the apostles were close enough to be like a biological brother so that is why they called Thomas by such. Pastor Combs, along with a number of scholars and theologians, believe that Didymus means that Thomas was duplicious; two-faced in his faith. Scripture seems to support this view of this apostle.
Thomas was an apostle of great courage and faith in one moment, and capable of a unlimited sckeptism in the next.
I am too much like Thomas; the greatest doubter of Christ and the most courageous follower. I, too, am duplicious.
I too, in those times of greatest struggles, want to demand that litmus test......physical touch and vision with my eyes of the wounds of Christ that He suffered upon the Cross as a sacrifice for my sins. I am a modern day Didymus.
Even with the awesome display of the power of God and the ready ear of His people, I have my moments----too many for where I am in my faith-----where I question God's ability to deliver, heal, and restore this person. Sometimes I believe that I am too far gone, too far broken, to be of any use to God or anyone else for that matter.
For the first time in almost five years, I have given up the call to ministry.....even though it still burns within my soul and heart. I don't doubt the authenticity of the Call, it is too impossible, too widely far from my desire to protect myself from the harshness of those even within the Body to crucify those in leadership.
I struggle with my doubt that God will be able to deliver on His call, to equip me for the work to which He has set aside for me.
But, like Thomas, I continue on the journey walking in the steps of the One to whom I've claim my name as Christian.....as follower.....as disciple....and His Father, one individual distinct yet the same as the other two that make up the Trinity. I struggle to believe that I am a Beloved Son; slopping in the pig pens of a stranger for the very slop that the pigs will not eat, longing for a home that I know in the very marrow of my bones that I was designed and made for; thinking I'd be better off in the lowest of positions within that home........but, as I turn my eyes towards that distant horizon, I wonder if I'll ever get there or if I'll be even welcomed when I get there......as I take that first step towards home.
Yet, in the fiercest storms that have rocked my boat in the four plus years that I have travelled this journey; towards bibical manhood, fatherhood, and husbandhood......all the costs, all the disappointments, and deep sorrows.......I am capable of the strongest movement and clearest relationship with God. I hear Him, have heard Him speak clear and gentle to me in a voice not my own. I have followed His desires in the greatest height of the storm....trusting in God's grace and mercy as the waters have risen (or the boat has sunk) to my chest and then my chin........to have Him deliver upon His promises through the arms of brothers and sisters who, too, have heard the voice of God and responded.
I have gone from a wife, a house, and a 'okay, comfortable' life to a small two bedroom apartment and my kids separated from each other but for two weeks a month, living only because of the mercy of others.....which put me in the apartment I share with my son, gave me the 23-year old car I drive an hour to work and an 1 1/2 hours from work. It is these saints who have clothed my son and given me a month's rent paid in December.
The world and it's usurper ruler does that to us; even those of us who have touched the wounds of our Savior (regardless of whether it was physical or spiritual), those lost within the darkness, and the ability of those seeking to find the sought in the darkness. He knows our deepest fears, how to manipulate our minds into the darkest expressions of humanity, and how to cause us to question God; who He is, what He is, and how He is. The enemy knows my weaknesses and my flaws, he holds the handbook within his evil, scheming hands.......
Yet, in those times of greatest dcubt, as with Thomas, Christ shows him the greatest mercy. He feels compassion for the unbelief of Thomas, offering His hands and His side as evidence of His fulfillment of the Promise and the authority of His resurrection. With patient tenderness, He brings Thomas to that point where doubt, denial, and uncertainity is a turning point; Thomas can turn away in fear, clinging to his doubts or he can reach out and touch the humanity of his Messiah....and believe.
These are the difficulties of an honest believer, seeker, and disciple of the true Risen King. We share these difficulties and we are called to stand with one another; not condemning, but with compassion.....turning our brothers and sisters from a wayward path back onto the narrow pathway home. We all have our moments of "My Lord, My God." Those defining moments that speak of a turning point in our journey home.
"Sound and sincere believers, though slow and weak, shall be graciously accepted of the Lord Jesus." Matthew Henry Concise Commentary. Without Christ, we are faithless, hopefess, and without eternal joy. Without Christ, we are condemned by the law of our own nature. Without Christ, we are lost within a world corrupted and broken by our own methods.
The seasoned, victorious veterans of the Israelite army.....conquerors of many superiorly numbered opponents because of the authority and blessing of their God, quaked in their armor before the mighty Goliath of the Philistine army. Even Saul, then King, who was 'superior to all men, a head taller than any Israelite" quivered before the majesty of such a giant. His words sent fear through the hearts of the hardened warriors.
And it was a boy....in shepherd's clothing and equipped with a sling who took offense to the audcity of the enemy against his God. And stepped out into the field of battle and stood his ground; for his people and his God.
I feel like David sometimes, but more than not.....I can identify with those hardened warriors standing in a loud canopy of clanking and clattering armor.........thinking if this giant is too big for the mighty human King Saul, then who am I to think I can do anything.
As I knelt down at the 'altar' in supplication to God during the ending of the service Sunday, I quaked in my clothes. The battle has been set; both armies of the usurper and the True God stand arrayed against each other. My biggest nightmare made flesh stands before the Army of God, his eyes gazing directly into my eyes...his proclaimation echoing in the very marrow of my bones. "You and me," he seems to say, "for the whole of eternity.....whoever stands at the end of this battle will lord over all. What? Don't think your God is big enough?"
Like Thomas, Peter, Paul, Nicodemus, and so many others in the story of God's journey of restoration for His children......Job to came to realize the reality of God when face to face with his own doubt........"My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you"
"Singed by the blast of God's utterance, Job is reminded of who is Creator and who is creature, and of the yawning chasm between them." Centurion Regis Nicoll says in regards to Job, in his commentary Thinking Christianly: The Hiddenness of God, "At this point, Job could have pressed his grievances or slumped and withered. Instead, he bucks up and, in one of the most humble affirmations in scripture, submits to God's sovereignty, trusting that history will unfold according to his perfect will.
One of the 'painful' sermons, you know----those from which you can't rationalize or wish away, was given on Sunday past at The River church gathering at the Holly High School. Pastor Jim Combs, pastor of The River, The Rock, Faith Baptist, and (the story behind that is a interesting one), opened Thomas in a way that made me realize that I have more in common with 'The Doubter' than I thought, and more than I would have hoped. I, too, wait for my 'reality test' for my Savior.
Didymus, the other name for Thomas, translates from the Greek to mean "Twin". There is speculation among scholars that this meant Thomas had a biological twin, or that another one of the apostles were close enough to be like a biological brother so that is why they called Thomas by such. Pastor Combs, along with a number of scholars and theologians, believe that Didymus means that Thomas was duplicious; two-faced in his faith. Scripture seems to support this view of this apostle.
Thomas was an apostle of great courage and faith in one moment, and capable of a unlimited sckeptism in the next.
I am too much like Thomas; the greatest doubter of Christ and the most courageous follower. I, too, am duplicious.
I too, in those times of greatest struggles, want to demand that litmus test......physical touch and vision with my eyes of the wounds of Christ that He suffered upon the Cross as a sacrifice for my sins. I am a modern day Didymus.
Even with the awesome display of the power of God and the ready ear of His people, I have my moments----too many for where I am in my faith-----where I question God's ability to deliver, heal, and restore this person. Sometimes I believe that I am too far gone, too far broken, to be of any use to God or anyone else for that matter.
For the first time in almost five years, I have given up the call to ministry.....even though it still burns within my soul and heart. I don't doubt the authenticity of the Call, it is too impossible, too widely far from my desire to protect myself from the harshness of those even within the Body to crucify those in leadership.
I struggle with my doubt that God will be able to deliver on His call, to equip me for the work to which He has set aside for me.
But, like Thomas, I continue on the journey walking in the steps of the One to whom I've claim my name as Christian.....as follower.....as disciple....and His Father, one individual distinct yet the same as the other two that make up the Trinity. I struggle to believe that I am a Beloved Son; slopping in the pig pens of a stranger for the very slop that the pigs will not eat, longing for a home that I know in the very marrow of my bones that I was designed and made for; thinking I'd be better off in the lowest of positions within that home........but, as I turn my eyes towards that distant horizon, I wonder if I'll ever get there or if I'll be even welcomed when I get there......as I take that first step towards home.
Yet, in the fiercest storms that have rocked my boat in the four plus years that I have travelled this journey; towards bibical manhood, fatherhood, and husbandhood......all the costs, all the disappointments, and deep sorrows.......I am capable of the strongest movement and clearest relationship with God. I hear Him, have heard Him speak clear and gentle to me in a voice not my own. I have followed His desires in the greatest height of the storm....trusting in God's grace and mercy as the waters have risen (or the boat has sunk) to my chest and then my chin........to have Him deliver upon His promises through the arms of brothers and sisters who, too, have heard the voice of God and responded.
I have gone from a wife, a house, and a 'okay, comfortable' life to a small two bedroom apartment and my kids separated from each other but for two weeks a month, living only because of the mercy of others.....which put me in the apartment I share with my son, gave me the 23-year old car I drive an hour to work and an 1 1/2 hours from work. It is these saints who have clothed my son and given me a month's rent paid in December.
The world and it's usurper ruler does that to us; even those of us who have touched the wounds of our Savior (regardless of whether it was physical or spiritual), those lost within the darkness, and the ability of those seeking to find the sought in the darkness. He knows our deepest fears, how to manipulate our minds into the darkest expressions of humanity, and how to cause us to question God; who He is, what He is, and how He is. The enemy knows my weaknesses and my flaws, he holds the handbook within his evil, scheming hands.......
Yet, in those times of greatest dcubt, as with Thomas, Christ shows him the greatest mercy. He feels compassion for the unbelief of Thomas, offering His hands and His side as evidence of His fulfillment of the Promise and the authority of His resurrection. With patient tenderness, He brings Thomas to that point where doubt, denial, and uncertainity is a turning point; Thomas can turn away in fear, clinging to his doubts or he can reach out and touch the humanity of his Messiah....and believe.
These are the difficulties of an honest believer, seeker, and disciple of the true Risen King. We share these difficulties and we are called to stand with one another; not condemning, but with compassion.....turning our brothers and sisters from a wayward path back onto the narrow pathway home. We all have our moments of "My Lord, My God." Those defining moments that speak of a turning point in our journey home.
"Sound and sincere believers, though slow and weak, shall be graciously accepted of the Lord Jesus." Matthew Henry Concise Commentary. Without Christ, we are faithless, hopefess, and without eternal joy. Without Christ, we are condemned by the law of our own nature. Without Christ, we are lost within a world corrupted and broken by our own methods.
The seasoned, victorious veterans of the Israelite army.....conquerors of many superiorly numbered opponents because of the authority and blessing of their God, quaked in their armor before the mighty Goliath of the Philistine army. Even Saul, then King, who was 'superior to all men, a head taller than any Israelite" quivered before the majesty of such a giant. His words sent fear through the hearts of the hardened warriors.
And it was a boy....in shepherd's clothing and equipped with a sling who took offense to the audcity of the enemy against his God. And stepped out into the field of battle and stood his ground; for his people and his God.
I feel like David sometimes, but more than not.....I can identify with those hardened warriors standing in a loud canopy of clanking and clattering armor.........thinking if this giant is too big for the mighty human King Saul, then who am I to think I can do anything.
As I knelt down at the 'altar' in supplication to God during the ending of the service Sunday, I quaked in my clothes. The battle has been set; both armies of the usurper and the True God stand arrayed against each other. My biggest nightmare made flesh stands before the Army of God, his eyes gazing directly into my eyes...his proclaimation echoing in the very marrow of my bones. "You and me," he seems to say, "for the whole of eternity.....whoever stands at the end of this battle will lord over all. What? Don't think your God is big enough?"
Like Thomas, Peter, Paul, Nicodemus, and so many others in the story of God's journey of restoration for His children......Job to came to realize the reality of God when face to face with his own doubt........"My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you"
"Singed by the blast of God's utterance, Job is reminded of who is Creator and who is creature, and of the yawning chasm between them." Centurion Regis Nicoll says in regards to Job, in his commentary Thinking Christianly: The Hiddenness of God, "At this point, Job could have pressed his grievances or slumped and withered. Instead, he bucks up and, in one of the most humble affirmations in scripture, submits to God's sovereignty, trusting that history will unfold according to his perfect will.
Monday, October 20
Men, will you lead?
"I see what you've done. Now see what I've done. I've opened a door that no one can slam shut. You don't have much strength; I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn't deny me when times were tough." Revelation 3:8
A brother in Christ sent this to me in response to a prayer request. It hasn't been a real 'walk in the Park' since that February day back in 2004 when I heard God call me back into the fold….especially since that October day in Illinois where He placed a call of ministry upon my heart.
It has been fraught with struggles, failures, and stress. There has been loss; there has been accountability and sorrow over my own failings and those of others. There hasn't been the abundance of wealth, health, or peace…well, at least the first two….that many gospels today proclaim is the Christian's 'birthright.'
It hasn't been pleasant, some of the places where God has taken me. It hasn't been without self-incrimination or doubt, a desire to 'not go there', and a fight to indeed 'go where no man has travelled before' in the depth of my dark soul……to shine the light upon the decay and sin there, and burn it in the righteous fire of the Most High.
My brother told me he didn't know what the 'door' would be, or what would manifest itself in my life to show God's favor for not 'denying Him in rough times.' God will bless me, this I know for sure; whether it is in this life or the eternal one that is open for debate. God will do what brings total glory and honor to Him, not what we feel is best for us, necessarily. The closer we get in our relationship to God, the more we realize how blessed we are even in the hurricane winds of trials and persecution.
Pastor Jim spoke of Hosea this Sunday past; a book most pastors he said weren't too eager to pursue in their sermons. After all, God tells Hosea to marry a prostitute, who then continues her trade and who Hosea has to eventually buy back from her 'pimp.' Not a very exciting or glamorous tale of following God's lead! Yet, as Pastor Jim said, there is a reason and he thinks the reason is so that Hosea would know how God felt about Israel. It wasn't the verses that Pastor Jim spoke of that hit me between the eyes, but one a few chapters in…a few verses down….
"Therefore your daughters turn to prostitution and your daughters-in-law to adultery."I will not punish your daughters when they turn to prostitution, nor your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery, because the men themselves consort with harlots and sacrifice with shrine prostitutes—a people without understanding will come to ruin!" Hosea 4:13c-14 (NIV)
I have said over and over in my blog that it is MEN who have the capability, under the authority and direction of God, to turn the cultural shift to the liberal, Universalist side back to a God-ordained, santicified path to restoration and healing. Men, who under the silence of Adam's sin, have given up their purpose as Spiritual leaders, and defenders of the beauty in a world of chaos and disorder, can redeem themselves and their families by being godly men.
It is through our own 'silence' that we are allowing this world to slide further and further away from God. It is not our daughters or our daughter-in-laws that will be punished but they will feel the effects of masculinity under sinful pursuits through our own failings to be men of the Word.
Maybe the verse my brother gave me wasn't intended just for me, but for all men in pursuit of a God most-powerful, most-holy, and most-merciful………
He has locked the door open for Godly men to step forward and lead. Not with the promise of renewed strength or power.....but the correct use of the power and strength already given....to the point of exhaustion.....
God calls for men to be Men of God
Will you be one of them?
A brother in Christ sent this to me in response to a prayer request. It hasn't been a real 'walk in the Park' since that February day back in 2004 when I heard God call me back into the fold….especially since that October day in Illinois where He placed a call of ministry upon my heart.
It has been fraught with struggles, failures, and stress. There has been loss; there has been accountability and sorrow over my own failings and those of others. There hasn't been the abundance of wealth, health, or peace…well, at least the first two….that many gospels today proclaim is the Christian's 'birthright.'
It hasn't been pleasant, some of the places where God has taken me. It hasn't been without self-incrimination or doubt, a desire to 'not go there', and a fight to indeed 'go where no man has travelled before' in the depth of my dark soul……to shine the light upon the decay and sin there, and burn it in the righteous fire of the Most High.
My brother told me he didn't know what the 'door' would be, or what would manifest itself in my life to show God's favor for not 'denying Him in rough times.' God will bless me, this I know for sure; whether it is in this life or the eternal one that is open for debate. God will do what brings total glory and honor to Him, not what we feel is best for us, necessarily. The closer we get in our relationship to God, the more we realize how blessed we are even in the hurricane winds of trials and persecution.
Pastor Jim spoke of Hosea this Sunday past; a book most pastors he said weren't too eager to pursue in their sermons. After all, God tells Hosea to marry a prostitute, who then continues her trade and who Hosea has to eventually buy back from her 'pimp.' Not a very exciting or glamorous tale of following God's lead! Yet, as Pastor Jim said, there is a reason and he thinks the reason is so that Hosea would know how God felt about Israel. It wasn't the verses that Pastor Jim spoke of that hit me between the eyes, but one a few chapters in…a few verses down….
"Therefore your daughters turn to prostitution and your daughters-in-law to adultery."I will not punish your daughters when they turn to prostitution, nor your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery, because the men themselves consort with harlots and sacrifice with shrine prostitutes—a people without understanding will come to ruin!" Hosea 4:13c-14 (NIV)
I have said over and over in my blog that it is MEN who have the capability, under the authority and direction of God, to turn the cultural shift to the liberal, Universalist side back to a God-ordained, santicified path to restoration and healing. Men, who under the silence of Adam's sin, have given up their purpose as Spiritual leaders, and defenders of the beauty in a world of chaos and disorder, can redeem themselves and their families by being godly men.
It is through our own 'silence' that we are allowing this world to slide further and further away from God. It is not our daughters or our daughter-in-laws that will be punished but they will feel the effects of masculinity under sinful pursuits through our own failings to be men of the Word.
Maybe the verse my brother gave me wasn't intended just for me, but for all men in pursuit of a God most-powerful, most-holy, and most-merciful………
He has locked the door open for Godly men to step forward and lead. Not with the promise of renewed strength or power.....but the correct use of the power and strength already given....to the point of exhaustion.....
God calls for men to be Men of God
Will you be one of them?
Monday, October 13
A worthless Christian?
"Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:26-27 (NIV)
"I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beats the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." (AKJV)
Pastor Jim Combs, Senior Pastor of the River, spoke of becoming worthless for the Lord's work this past Sunday. How Paul warned us, using boxing and running metaphors to convey the message that we are striving for a prize, not just boxing thin air or running in place.
The reason I've included the American King James Version is because of the translations that are included from the Greek to understand these verses better. "Keep under", which is translated "beat" in the New International Version, means to literally "bruise the face under the eyes," which is the 'sweet spot' that any boxer will use to fell his opponent in a quick fashion. "Castaway", which is translated 'disqualified' in the NIV, means "(n.) One who is ruined; one who has made moral shipwreck; a reprobate," according to Noah Webster's New International Dictionary of the English Language.
Harsh words, they may seem. This is a pastor who will not ask forgiveness for what he feels the Scriptures teach and the willful application of his gift of teaching in pursuit of the Kingdom purposes. Right or wrong, you have to admit that such teaching requires your active participation in discovering its truthfulness or its error. And you come out changed no matter what, with an increased desire to truly know all that you can know about God and a stronger faith.
"Worthless" is a term I know very well; as well as the multitple ways it can be applied to one person, in many circumstances, by many people. My father, my mother, my brothers, a host of employers, friends, and even some 'cultural' and 'emergent' Christians. When you pursue a 'call' to ministry, such terms seem to come out of the woodwork of those 'in a position to know.'
I don't know if God feels I've worked myself into a position of 'worthlessness' for the Kingdom purpose of the Call by the pending divorce between my wife and I. I don't know if the separation of my family; my daughter to see how residing with her biological mother helps her in this crisis and my son to reside with me for the same reasons. I don't know if my continued financial stresses are a reasonable 'red flag.' I don't know if my struggles, which I succeed and fail at, are a justification for such 'reprobation.'
Or, if it is man's decision that such things make it so. Either way, four years later, I am no longer in the chaplains ministry—having decided not to come off hiatus (though I still retain the title and ministry connection) and have not any 'church staff' position offered in any attempt or fellowship I belong to.
I wander in chaos, with disruption being a major part of my life. I neither do things perfectly or things totally righteously, but I fight against the learned, immoral behaviors that once graced my fleshly pursuits against the Kingdom. I am not regretful about the past, for I excelled at being a sinner in opposition to the Church and it is now with my redirection that I seek to bring that skill to my pursuit of God, where I stand for everything of God, for God, and from God and resist those things that are in opposition and distortion of God's word.
I preach grace, with accountability, and a pursuit of God, in intimate and personal relationship. Because I need grace, with accountability and am pursuing God in a personal, intimate relationship. Where I am, He knows my struggles. Where I am, He knows the power to overcome. Where I am, He has told me to stand and fight..............and I am not punching air.
The Enemy knows me well, and knows what causes my stumbles. And he is increasingly getting frustrated at my picking myself up and trying again. I will keep fighting to 'knock myself out' in the pursuit of fleshly desires and strive for the perfection that I know I will never obtain here on earth.
Am I perfect? No, never will be. But I will keep fighting my carnal desires--that old man---in my attempt to be more like the Savior I follow.
It is the failure of the Christian who is struggling not to struggle that I believe is the 'worthlessness' that Pastor Combs pointed to in Corinthians. For if we justify our own carnal desires, we no longer are teachable, and are no longer able to be used...because we have 'withdrawn' our subjection of will.
We forego the life-long journey that will have to wait till the end for its promised conclusion.
We are called into close combat with ourselves; our fleshly desires, and sinful attitudes. We must realize that our enemy is fierce and heartily opposed to our achievement of righteous peace and mercy, and they know each and every one of us well. They will not stop trying to convince us that we are lost, a selfish and sinful people, and that there is no chance for us to obtain the glory of God's designed salvation unless we do exactly opposite of what the Bible says; we must do 'good works' or we're unproven in our religious intentions.
We are called to fight the battle already won; to work to keep our carnal desires in a state of off-balance, fighting to keep the flesh from directing our spirit but having our spirit direct our body. As Pastor Combs said, we have three reasons to fight the flesh:
1) It allows us to follow His direction and plans for our lives.
2) It keeps us from wasting life on things that ultimately won't matter.
3) So we won't become worthless to God.
I don't believe that we can work ourselves into a position where God no longer can use us or our struggles in the face of a world growing darker and darker, only if we cease to struggle against those carnal desires.
As one man said in a study group last week, the world seems to think Christians are to be perfect in an imperfect world. God has a way of showing us we are far from it, and it is time we believe that we aren't.
Paul admits to struggling to 'do what I know to do instead of what I know not to do?' When we are at our weakest, with no hope left in our own abilities and our skills, is when God's strength is powerfully shown……to us, to our friends, and to the world.
But, we've got to keep fighting the battle of the flesh, no matter how many times that 'old man' gets up.
"Never give up….Never surrender"
Why?
As Paul said, "I do all this for the sake of the Gospel, that I may share in its blessings."v23.
Fighting a battle already won.
"I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beats the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." (AKJV)
Pastor Jim Combs, Senior Pastor of the River, spoke of becoming worthless for the Lord's work this past Sunday. How Paul warned us, using boxing and running metaphors to convey the message that we are striving for a prize, not just boxing thin air or running in place.
The reason I've included the American King James Version is because of the translations that are included from the Greek to understand these verses better. "Keep under", which is translated "beat" in the New International Version, means to literally "bruise the face under the eyes," which is the 'sweet spot' that any boxer will use to fell his opponent in a quick fashion. "Castaway", which is translated 'disqualified' in the NIV, means "(n.) One who is ruined; one who has made moral shipwreck; a reprobate," according to Noah Webster's New International Dictionary of the English Language.
Harsh words, they may seem. This is a pastor who will not ask forgiveness for what he feels the Scriptures teach and the willful application of his gift of teaching in pursuit of the Kingdom purposes. Right or wrong, you have to admit that such teaching requires your active participation in discovering its truthfulness or its error. And you come out changed no matter what, with an increased desire to truly know all that you can know about God and a stronger faith.
"Worthless" is a term I know very well; as well as the multitple ways it can be applied to one person, in many circumstances, by many people. My father, my mother, my brothers, a host of employers, friends, and even some 'cultural' and 'emergent' Christians. When you pursue a 'call' to ministry, such terms seem to come out of the woodwork of those 'in a position to know.'
I don't know if God feels I've worked myself into a position of 'worthlessness' for the Kingdom purpose of the Call by the pending divorce between my wife and I. I don't know if the separation of my family; my daughter to see how residing with her biological mother helps her in this crisis and my son to reside with me for the same reasons. I don't know if my continued financial stresses are a reasonable 'red flag.' I don't know if my struggles, which I succeed and fail at, are a justification for such 'reprobation.'
Or, if it is man's decision that such things make it so. Either way, four years later, I am no longer in the chaplains ministry—having decided not to come off hiatus (though I still retain the title and ministry connection) and have not any 'church staff' position offered in any attempt or fellowship I belong to.
I wander in chaos, with disruption being a major part of my life. I neither do things perfectly or things totally righteously, but I fight against the learned, immoral behaviors that once graced my fleshly pursuits against the Kingdom. I am not regretful about the past, for I excelled at being a sinner in opposition to the Church and it is now with my redirection that I seek to bring that skill to my pursuit of God, where I stand for everything of God, for God, and from God and resist those things that are in opposition and distortion of God's word.
I preach grace, with accountability, and a pursuit of God, in intimate and personal relationship. Because I need grace, with accountability and am pursuing God in a personal, intimate relationship. Where I am, He knows my struggles. Where I am, He knows the power to overcome. Where I am, He has told me to stand and fight..............and I am not punching air.
The Enemy knows me well, and knows what causes my stumbles. And he is increasingly getting frustrated at my picking myself up and trying again. I will keep fighting to 'knock myself out' in the pursuit of fleshly desires and strive for the perfection that I know I will never obtain here on earth.
Am I perfect? No, never will be. But I will keep fighting my carnal desires--that old man---in my attempt to be more like the Savior I follow.
It is the failure of the Christian who is struggling not to struggle that I believe is the 'worthlessness' that Pastor Combs pointed to in Corinthians. For if we justify our own carnal desires, we no longer are teachable, and are no longer able to be used...because we have 'withdrawn' our subjection of will.
We forego the life-long journey that will have to wait till the end for its promised conclusion.
We are called into close combat with ourselves; our fleshly desires, and sinful attitudes. We must realize that our enemy is fierce and heartily opposed to our achievement of righteous peace and mercy, and they know each and every one of us well. They will not stop trying to convince us that we are lost, a selfish and sinful people, and that there is no chance for us to obtain the glory of God's designed salvation unless we do exactly opposite of what the Bible says; we must do 'good works' or we're unproven in our religious intentions.
We are called to fight the battle already won; to work to keep our carnal desires in a state of off-balance, fighting to keep the flesh from directing our spirit but having our spirit direct our body. As Pastor Combs said, we have three reasons to fight the flesh:
1) It allows us to follow His direction and plans for our lives.
2) It keeps us from wasting life on things that ultimately won't matter.
3) So we won't become worthless to God.
I don't believe that we can work ourselves into a position where God no longer can use us or our struggles in the face of a world growing darker and darker, only if we cease to struggle against those carnal desires.
As one man said in a study group last week, the world seems to think Christians are to be perfect in an imperfect world. God has a way of showing us we are far from it, and it is time we believe that we aren't.
Paul admits to struggling to 'do what I know to do instead of what I know not to do?' When we are at our weakest, with no hope left in our own abilities and our skills, is when God's strength is powerfully shown……to us, to our friends, and to the world.
But, we've got to keep fighting the battle of the flesh, no matter how many times that 'old man' gets up.
"Never give up….Never surrender"
Why?
As Paul said, "I do all this for the sake of the Gospel, that I may share in its blessings."v23.
Fighting a battle already won.
Tuesday, September 30
Persecution.......American style....
"If the watchman sees the sword coming, and does not give a note on the horn, and the people have no word of the danger, and the sword comes and takes any person from among them; he will be taken away in his sin, but I will make the watchman responsible for his blood." Ezekiel 33:6 (BBE)
I have often mentioned a desire to belong to a Christian community that is bold in their faith enough to stand against the secular desire to silence people of the Christian faith. To stand without regret in a manner that reflects the boldness of God and the declaration of their right to worship. Not to do so in a way that is opposite of what the Bible declares us to be, but refusing to allow limitations to be unfairly imposed because they declare themselves to be evangelical born-again Christians.
It appears that I've found a Pastor who isn't afraid to declare that he struggles, is open and direct in his teachings, and will stand upon the call to lead the faithful in the battle to preach the Word of God, regardless of what others might do to stop him or the faithful he shepherds.
The current form of battle which Pastor Combs and his congregation at Faith Baptist are involved in differs depending on who you ask.
The congregation says that the Township of Waterford is persecuting the church in violation of their rights.
The Waterford Township Supervisor, Carl Solden, says that the issue isn't one of a First Amendment right to freely exercise religion but one simply of a noise complaint filed by one of the church's geographical neighbors, Timothy Carlson.
Carlson filed a lawsuit in February with the Oakland County Courts seeking a court order for the reduction of volume used in the worship service which features 'rock music' and other songs. "When you can hear the noise, inside a residence across the street with the doors and windows closed, it's too loud," said Carlson's lawyer, Andrew Paluda.
Pastor Jim Combs first contacted the Thomas More Law Center in late October 2007, after the first in a series of police raids.
Uniformed Waterford Police raided the church without any warrant and detained Campus Pastor Mark Kerr, performing an interrogation and unlawfully seizing his Driver's license. During a Wednesday night youth service, uniformed Township police, led by the Township prosecutor, burst into the Church’s sanctuary where the Church’s “Praise and Worship” band was warming up. The prosecutor ordered the officers to take the names and addresses of all the young people on stage so that they could be charged with “disorderly conduct. “ On a Sunday, Waterford Township police again raided Faith Baptist, this time during the Pastor Comb’s evening sermon, attempting to disrupt the service by ordering the "Praise and Worship" band members out to surrender their driver's licenses for personal information. An Assistant Pastor volunteered to bring the members to the police to prevent an uproar with the congregation and the police backed down. In another incident, the Township prosecutor was caught conducting personal surveillance on the Church from his parked car just days later.
The Thomas More Law Center, a national public interest law firm based in Ann Arbor, Michigan, filed a federal lawsuit in March against the Waterford Township supervisor, prosecutor and two high ranking police officials because of the police incursions into the church and threats made by the Township prosecutor to continue each time music was heard coming from the church walls.
Richard Thompson, President and Chief Counsel for TMLC said, “Uniformed police officers entering a church during religious services and young church members being threatened with prosecution is something that happens in Communist China - not in America. “
Faith Baptist members have allegated police harassment in the forms of such raids are to silence their right to worship which violate their Free Exercise of religion, Free Speech and Freedom of Association rights under both the Michigan and the United States Constitutions . The actions of police have had a chilling effect on worship, the suit claims, which is seeking a cessation of the raiding tactics and monetary damages.
Thompson spoke of why Faith Baptist filed the counter lawsuit, “It is clear that Waterford Township authorities targeted Faith Baptist Church because of the type of religious music it uses in its services. Some of the individual police officers involved in the raids - apparently more sensitive to the constitutional protections surrounding religion than were their superiors - personally apologized afterwards.
Solden denies any harassment from the Township or the Police Department, saying "We're trying to get this resolved in a reasonable way."
Such 'reasonable' methods used by the Waterford Township sound more like European tactics involving silencing the Christian faith than tolerance for all Americans to pursue the religious worship they please. Or even the Chinese heavy handed persecution of the Christians within their borders, forcing many to live underground in "house" churches. Or even the historical persecution of the faithful in the annuals of European history. Yet, this isn't making alot of news in the liberal media outlets. One might say that it's because of a 'low news status' or maybe 'no new news.'
Why then, when the Al-Isah Islamic Center wanted to sound the muslim call to prayer in Hamtramck, a previously predominantly Catholic and Polish community, was there such an outcry against those who opposed it? The Center wanted to use loudspeakers to sound the call throughout the community and the media was quick to point out that the Christian churches in the area traditionally sounded bells that could be heard for miles. The Center was eventually given permission.
Waterford is not alone in its pursuit of congregations within their jurisdictions, with such legal battles happening on an alarming basis throughout the nation. In our 'own' backyard, there are many cities who are using the legal system in an effort to curb churches. The City of Southfield lost a case in 2007 against Lighthouse Community Church of God under the Religious Land Use and Institutions Persons Act, which prevents governments from zoning out houses of worship in their communities. Dan Dalton, a Royal Oak attorney who represented the church in the case said, " The cities have, for the past 200 years or so, said, 'We'll tell you where you can be because we don't want to lose tax base.' " Churches are non-taxed, either in tithing given or properties owned. It is not the churches, Dalton claim, that are wanting to be in court.
Faith Baptist Church, headed by Pastor Jim Combs, has a congregation of 10,000 members and conducts nondenominational, contemporary religious services on three different campuses. The police raids targeted the Waterford Township campus with 5,000 members. I attend his church centrally located between the two other campuses in Holly, Michigan named The River. I live next store to the College Street campus, which is a converted school building. The congregation is approximately 1,000 (by my observation) that meet in the Holly High School Auditorium every Sunday at 9:30 am.
In biblical times, a trumpet (hebrew word is "shofar") was sounded to warn people of impending danger, among other reasons. As the country moves towards a more liberal, universalistic religious attitude, the persecution and limiting of the Christian faith will only get worse as the world progresses towards the day of the Lord's Return.
We continue to deal with the effects of 'feminizing' men, killing our future generations in the womb, removing the reminders and heritage of our Christian faith upon the culture, and watering down the uncomfortable Truth that is evidenced in the Biblical scriptures.
We often look towards churches and Pastors like Jim Combs and the members of Faith Baptist as being poor Christians because they chose not to back down or apologize for their faith and stand upon the liberties of this country to pursue those rights to express their belief and joy in Jesus Christ. This country has moved further left as it continues to allow the dream of the founding fathers, who spilled their own blood and the blood of their families in an effort to allow themselves to be free to worship as they pleased, is being rewritten into a dream of liberal universalism of an subjective truth called "modern" Religion.
Though the country was not founded as a Christian nation, the faith and its tenents were used in the formation of the government and the laws by which it was once governed. The government is nothing like what it was originally formed to be; the judicial branch is making the laws, the legislative branch is a collection of self-perserving interests, and the executive branch is cut off from coordination of the two.
As we move closer and closer to an election of a President who no longer holds the heritage and value of the evangelical faith as paramount, who takes the oath to preserve, defend, and protect the original Constitution of the United States of America but rather opts for a more liberal and culturally shifting interpetation of the dream that once gave birth to a nation of hope, it will be the faithful who stand regardless of the persecution and devaluing of their beliefs upon the fields of spiritual battle and raise their swords and shields high.
The sword is swinging and the faithful are its target.
It is time to sound the shofar, to warn of the dangers that await this once-great nation as it heads into the darkness of humanism, universalism, and atheism. We have forgotten the face of our Father.
We have forgotten who's we are.
No longer is silent faith acceptable, if it ever was. It is time to preach the Good News, to show those we love and care for, as well as the stranger on the street, that salvation is available and soon, before we know it, the choice will no longer be accessible as our Lord returns.
The fields are ripe for harvest, yet the workers seem to be on a lunch break.
Pastor Combs and the congregation of Faith Baptist aren't the first and hopefully the new leadership of the Christian faith that is being developed today will not forget their charge; to preach the Gospel and to stand firm in their faith.
I think I've found my home for the season God has me here.
Resources:
http://journals.aol.com/kingbing1/FortiFi/entries/2008/04/02/churchs-music-leads-to-lawsuits-members-of-faith-baptist-church-in-waterford-michigan-says-townsh/4258
http://thomaslawcenter.com
I have often mentioned a desire to belong to a Christian community that is bold in their faith enough to stand against the secular desire to silence people of the Christian faith. To stand without regret in a manner that reflects the boldness of God and the declaration of their right to worship. Not to do so in a way that is opposite of what the Bible declares us to be, but refusing to allow limitations to be unfairly imposed because they declare themselves to be evangelical born-again Christians.
It appears that I've found a Pastor who isn't afraid to declare that he struggles, is open and direct in his teachings, and will stand upon the call to lead the faithful in the battle to preach the Word of God, regardless of what others might do to stop him or the faithful he shepherds.
The current form of battle which Pastor Combs and his congregation at Faith Baptist are involved in differs depending on who you ask.
The congregation says that the Township of Waterford is persecuting the church in violation of their rights.
The Waterford Township Supervisor, Carl Solden, says that the issue isn't one of a First Amendment right to freely exercise religion but one simply of a noise complaint filed by one of the church's geographical neighbors, Timothy Carlson.
Carlson filed a lawsuit in February with the Oakland County Courts seeking a court order for the reduction of volume used in the worship service which features 'rock music' and other songs. "When you can hear the noise, inside a residence across the street with the doors and windows closed, it's too loud," said Carlson's lawyer, Andrew Paluda.
Pastor Jim Combs first contacted the Thomas More Law Center in late October 2007, after the first in a series of police raids.
Uniformed Waterford Police raided the church without any warrant and detained Campus Pastor Mark Kerr, performing an interrogation and unlawfully seizing his Driver's license. During a Wednesday night youth service, uniformed Township police, led by the Township prosecutor, burst into the Church’s sanctuary where the Church’s “Praise and Worship” band was warming up. The prosecutor ordered the officers to take the names and addresses of all the young people on stage so that they could be charged with “disorderly conduct. “ On a Sunday, Waterford Township police again raided Faith Baptist, this time during the Pastor Comb’s evening sermon, attempting to disrupt the service by ordering the "Praise and Worship" band members out to surrender their driver's licenses for personal information. An Assistant Pastor volunteered to bring the members to the police to prevent an uproar with the congregation and the police backed down. In another incident, the Township prosecutor was caught conducting personal surveillance on the Church from his parked car just days later.
The Thomas More Law Center, a national public interest law firm based in Ann Arbor, Michigan, filed a federal lawsuit in March against the Waterford Township supervisor, prosecutor and two high ranking police officials because of the police incursions into the church and threats made by the Township prosecutor to continue each time music was heard coming from the church walls.
Richard Thompson, President and Chief Counsel for TMLC said, “Uniformed police officers entering a church during religious services and young church members being threatened with prosecution is something that happens in Communist China - not in America. “
Faith Baptist members have allegated police harassment in the forms of such raids are to silence their right to worship which violate their Free Exercise of religion, Free Speech and Freedom of Association rights under both the Michigan and the United States Constitutions . The actions of police have had a chilling effect on worship, the suit claims, which is seeking a cessation of the raiding tactics and monetary damages.
Thompson spoke of why Faith Baptist filed the counter lawsuit, “It is clear that Waterford Township authorities targeted Faith Baptist Church because of the type of religious music it uses in its services. Some of the individual police officers involved in the raids - apparently more sensitive to the constitutional protections surrounding religion than were their superiors - personally apologized afterwards.
Solden denies any harassment from the Township or the Police Department, saying "We're trying to get this resolved in a reasonable way."
Such 'reasonable' methods used by the Waterford Township sound more like European tactics involving silencing the Christian faith than tolerance for all Americans to pursue the religious worship they please. Or even the Chinese heavy handed persecution of the Christians within their borders, forcing many to live underground in "house" churches. Or even the historical persecution of the faithful in the annuals of European history. Yet, this isn't making alot of news in the liberal media outlets. One might say that it's because of a 'low news status' or maybe 'no new news.'
Why then, when the Al-Isah Islamic Center wanted to sound the muslim call to prayer in Hamtramck, a previously predominantly Catholic and Polish community, was there such an outcry against those who opposed it? The Center wanted to use loudspeakers to sound the call throughout the community and the media was quick to point out that the Christian churches in the area traditionally sounded bells that could be heard for miles. The Center was eventually given permission.
Waterford is not alone in its pursuit of congregations within their jurisdictions, with such legal battles happening on an alarming basis throughout the nation. In our 'own' backyard, there are many cities who are using the legal system in an effort to curb churches. The City of Southfield lost a case in 2007 against Lighthouse Community Church of God under the Religious Land Use and Institutions Persons Act, which prevents governments from zoning out houses of worship in their communities. Dan Dalton, a Royal Oak attorney who represented the church in the case said, " The cities have, for the past 200 years or so, said, 'We'll tell you where you can be because we don't want to lose tax base.' " Churches are non-taxed, either in tithing given or properties owned. It is not the churches, Dalton claim, that are wanting to be in court.
Faith Baptist Church, headed by Pastor Jim Combs, has a congregation of 10,000 members and conducts nondenominational, contemporary religious services on three different campuses. The police raids targeted the Waterford Township campus with 5,000 members. I attend his church centrally located between the two other campuses in Holly, Michigan named The River. I live next store to the College Street campus, which is a converted school building. The congregation is approximately 1,000 (by my observation) that meet in the Holly High School Auditorium every Sunday at 9:30 am.
In biblical times, a trumpet (hebrew word is "shofar") was sounded to warn people of impending danger, among other reasons. As the country moves towards a more liberal, universalistic religious attitude, the persecution and limiting of the Christian faith will only get worse as the world progresses towards the day of the Lord's Return.
We continue to deal with the effects of 'feminizing' men, killing our future generations in the womb, removing the reminders and heritage of our Christian faith upon the culture, and watering down the uncomfortable Truth that is evidenced in the Biblical scriptures.
We often look towards churches and Pastors like Jim Combs and the members of Faith Baptist as being poor Christians because they chose not to back down or apologize for their faith and stand upon the liberties of this country to pursue those rights to express their belief and joy in Jesus Christ. This country has moved further left as it continues to allow the dream of the founding fathers, who spilled their own blood and the blood of their families in an effort to allow themselves to be free to worship as they pleased, is being rewritten into a dream of liberal universalism of an subjective truth called "modern" Religion.
Though the country was not founded as a Christian nation, the faith and its tenents were used in the formation of the government and the laws by which it was once governed. The government is nothing like what it was originally formed to be; the judicial branch is making the laws, the legislative branch is a collection of self-perserving interests, and the executive branch is cut off from coordination of the two.
As we move closer and closer to an election of a President who no longer holds the heritage and value of the evangelical faith as paramount, who takes the oath to preserve, defend, and protect the original Constitution of the United States of America but rather opts for a more liberal and culturally shifting interpetation of the dream that once gave birth to a nation of hope, it will be the faithful who stand regardless of the persecution and devaluing of their beliefs upon the fields of spiritual battle and raise their swords and shields high.
The sword is swinging and the faithful are its target.
It is time to sound the shofar, to warn of the dangers that await this once-great nation as it heads into the darkness of humanism, universalism, and atheism. We have forgotten the face of our Father.
We have forgotten who's we are.
No longer is silent faith acceptable, if it ever was. It is time to preach the Good News, to show those we love and care for, as well as the stranger on the street, that salvation is available and soon, before we know it, the choice will no longer be accessible as our Lord returns.
The fields are ripe for harvest, yet the workers seem to be on a lunch break.
Pastor Combs and the congregation of Faith Baptist aren't the first and hopefully the new leadership of the Christian faith that is being developed today will not forget their charge; to preach the Gospel and to stand firm in their faith.
I think I've found my home for the season God has me here.
Resources:
http://journals.aol.com/kingbing1/FortiFi/entries/2008/04/02/churchs-music-leads-to-lawsuits-members-of-faith-baptist-church-in-waterford-michigan-says-townsh/4258
http://thomaslawcenter.com
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