Unbalanced.....

I don't know what I am going with this, but God has put it on my heart to write and this is the result. Maybe it will touch you and cause you to think about something that carries it further. Maybe you'll just smile and say "that's nice" and go on. But I've added my own thoughts to this post....forgive if it seems incomplete. Jim

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' Mark 12:30 (New International Version)

I don't know why this verse, which is one of my favorites by far, should be 'haunting' me this week, but it is. God is continually bringing this up whenever I've brought up expression of disappointment, anger, and a host of other 'complaints' in the course of living this week. I know that I am still in a state of 'unbalance' since the weekend, which is what I knew would happen. It is when I am unbalanced that I reach out for the steadying hand of my Savior, who is the source of unbending strength for me.

We have faced the challenge, my wife and I, and are fighting against the realization of reality….. I have seen how I've hurt my wife's heart in the mistaken thinking that I was helping her in the 'growth' process God had in store for her. God has shown me a lot this weekend past of my wife's desires and strength, far beyond anything I had ever realized before. Therefore I am unbalanced, with the unhealthy weight of 'stinking thinking' gone; I am falling totally into the grace and mercy of the Lord.

Have you ever closed your eyes and tried to walk a straight line? Have you ever been in a dense forest and tried to keep the distance from point A to point B as short and direct as possible? I begin to look like a sailor back on land after months at sea….. And I've realized that I have walked through the journey of this marriage with my eyes closed for most of the last year. Closed because I didn't want to see the slow decay that was occurring, bit by bit. And I think that is why God is bringing this verse into play this week for me.

I forget my commitment promise? Love the Lord your GOD with all your heart, Jim, is the whispered words. I stumble across the unconditional gift I've given my wife in one of the dialogues we had this weekend? Love the Lord your GOD with all your soul, Jim, is the firm retort. I admit to my children that Dad is trying to be a better Dad and it is Mom who makes him a better person? Love the Lord your GOD with all your strength……. Take on second income against my opinion not to do so? Love the Lord your GOD with all your mind, Jim.

I am reminded of the process that Peter tells us to undertake in our pursuit of the Kingdom Knowledge. In 2 Peter 1:5-8, Peter tell us to supplement our faith with all every to include…."goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love." Peter continues to tell us the benefits of such pursuit; "For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." Such pursuit is indeed worthy of our attention. But it is the way stations, those points of identity that hit me most, coupled with Mark's declaration.

Love is the end result. And Love, Mark tells us, is what we are to do with all effort in our relationship with God. And the tools to which we are to utilize such love; our heart, mind, soul, and strength are all developed and trained in the process Peter describes to us. So, not only do we have the purpose clearly defined in Mark, we have the process given to us in Peter.

Isn't our God amazing?

Jim.

"Die before you die," C.S. Lewis said. "There is no chance after."